Author Topic: Today's Toons 1/19/26 (Read 780 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** January 19, 2026, 06:55:39 am »

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The street mob violence in Iran went up a notch today. Teheran just named Minneapolis its Sister City.

The National Opera boycotts the Trump Kennedy Center...the culture changed anyway. Today the Nutcracker Suite is Pam Bondi's office at the DOJ.

The Golden Globes were held this evening in Beverly Hills...you could see the virtue signal from outer space.

We are seeing a global strategic chess game in real time. The Ayatollah just offered every Iranian $7 a month to calm down prompting Trump to offer them $10 a month to overthrow the Ayatollah.

The Daily Mail reports that Iran protesters announced Friday they have re-named a street in Teheran Donald Trump Boulevard in thanks for his support. That's amazing. Any leader who has a street named after him both in Iran and in Israel has, what we call in Los Angeles, good people skills.

The US just put Cuba on a diet of no oil and no money from Venezuela. They're bound to trim down and feel healthier. It's all thanks to Cubans taking their new drug Trumpzempic.

Senate Democrats blasted President Trump's raid on Caracas that captured Maduro. Just five years ago the same senators blasted Trump for not taking Maduro out. If Trump hosted a telethon for the American Cancer Society to cure cancer Democrats would object, saying cancer is a human right.

The Pentagon says the U.S. unleashed a sound wave attack in the Venezuela raid that brought Maduro's guards to their knees, vomiting blood and bleeding through their noses. The code name is Project Yoko Ono. Julian Lennon is suing Hegseth to stop using his mother's music as a weapon of war.

GOP Oversight Committee is preparing contempt charges against Bill and Hillary Clinton for refusing to testify about Jeffrey Epstein. Self-incrimination could be a problem. Bill loved to hang around Epstein while Hillary just loved the rope.

It seems every 12 hours the cities of Teheran and Minneapolis exchange hold my beers.

The Supreme Court heard arguments Tuesday on transsexual athletes. Another case of he said she said.

The Supreme Court heard the case on a state's right to ban transgender biological men from women's sports Tuesday. Men and women are simply different. I saw an actuarial chart that shows the average man lives to be 78 and the average woman lives to be 87, so when I turn 78 I'm transitioning.

Kamala Harris today bought a house in Malibu for $8 million...it confirms warnings by Malibu fire-victim residents that if the mayor didn't speed up the rebuilding permits that minorities would come pouring into the neighborhood.

Minneapolis illegal resisting ICE tried to attack an ICE agent with a shovel tonight and so the ICE agent shot him in the leg. Shooting attackers in the leg seems like a perfectly reasonable way to meet the protesters halfway.

J.D. Vance votes to break a tie in the Senate to save Trump's War Powers Act options...Donald Trump has never started a war with anyone unless you count the Women of The View.

Iran posted a warning to Trump that the next bullet won't miss him. Reaction in Washington with swift. A Democratic federal judge just ordered Trump keep his head still this time.

Finally, some progress at the UN. Today Russia and Ukraine agreed to send peacekeepers to Minneapolis.

Jesus, do we have to overthrow the Ayatollah to get Minneapolis off the news every night? If so I'm all in.

President Trump flew off to Palm Beach today in a pouty mood. This morning at the breakfast table, the White House chef told Trump that No, you can't have Greenland...you haven't finished your Venezuela yet.

Minnesota changed the motto on its license plates today to read The Land of 10,000 Angry Lesbians on the Street Every Day.

The Ayatollah Khameni has been offered asylum in Minnesota where he plans on opening a children's daycare center.]

Minnesota is famously home to the Twin Cities, Minneapolis and Mogadishu.

Kamala Harris is very happy with the home she just bought in Malibu for $8.15 million. The place has four bedrooms six bathrooms and 12 liquor cabinets.

-- Argus Hamilton