Author Topic: Today's Toons 11/3/25 (Read 924 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** November 03, 2025, 04:22:33 am »

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker told Fox News Chicago's murder rate is down. In Chicago, there are fewer people left alive to be murdered. Last night at the Comedy Store, the great Chicago comedian John Caponera told me he was homesick for Chicago, so I shot him.

The World Series between the Los Angeles Dodgers and Toronto Blue Jays gets underway tonight at the Rogers Center Stadium in Toronto. President Trump has assured baseball fans that he will be tuned in to the games. It's widely known that the only sports channel Trump watches is ESPN Deportes.

Trump just notified Rand McNally map makers he has re-named the Gulf of America. It'll now be known as the Gulf of Exploding Cartel Boats.

Hillary Clinton blasted President Trump's remodeling the East Wing of the White House into a ballroom. The Clintons bring back fond memories. Hillary Clinton had to return China and furniture she took from the White House and as for Bill, at least Trump hired professionals to stain the hard wood.

Robert DeNiro was on CNN Sunday and called Jewish Trump aide Stephen Miller a Nazi. The left is way too loose about Nazism lately. Anne Frank is re-imagined in a new Broadway musical as a pan-sexual Latina with a non-binary lover, as if Anne needed another three reasons to hide in the attic.

The Minnesota Supreme Court ruled a transgender athlete must be allowed to compete with women in the state's women's power-lifting competitions. There's even more. In addition to the Minnesota court ruling, I just heard about a transgender beauty pageant where everybody was a wiener.

President Trump brokered a peace between Cambodia and Thailand while he was in Malaysia on Sunday. Cambodia's leader nominated Trump for next year's Nobel Peace Prize. If we'd known that Donald Trump could stop a war in Southeast Asia, we'd have sent him there when he was 18 years old.

Social justice warriors hate dentists because they make your teeth straight and white.

Trump can be hilarious and harrowing at the same time whenever he wanders off the teleprompter & starts adlibbing. Trump's brain is like a computer with no virus protection.

President Trump spent his first hours at the Southeast Asian Nations summit in Malaysia officiating over a peace treaty he brokered between Thailand and Cambodia. The leader of Cambodia nominated Trump for next year's Nobel Peace Prize awards ceremony. It's an annual event Trump now celebrates as Passover.

Kamala Harris's campaign memoir was reported selling well as Karine Jean Pierre launched her own book tour. They're not the only members of the last administration that landed on their feet after the election loss. It appears that Hunter Biden landed a gig as Admiral of the Venezuelan Fleet.

South Korea presented Trump with a spectacular gold crown.... I don't want to say the Democrats should be worried but the presentation ceremony aired on Masterpiece Theater.

The Pentagon released video Tuesday of 4 more cocaine speedboats being destroyed that were heading up the Pacific from Colombia. One speed boat load of cocaine was destroyed not far from the cleaned-up pristine beaches of San Diego. I'll bet those Sea Turtles are missing those plastic straws now.

Jeffrey Epstein pal Ghislaine Maxwell was quoted in a memoir Tuesday saying she performed a sex act on George Clooney in a bathroom at a party. He's vehemently denied ever even meeting Epstein or his stable of underage girls. It's just a coincidence George Clooney starred in the hit movie Oh, She's 11.

President Trump signed a new trade deal with Japan that reduced tariffs to 15%, lured Toyota factories to the US, and opened up Japan's rice market to US farmers. It's simply jaw-dropping. If you've ever doubted that Donald J. Trump was born to play The Music Man, he just sold rice to Japan.

Business Insider reported more bad news Tuesday about Artificial Intelligence and its brutal potential on blue collar jobs in America. They reported that Amazon has notified its employees that it's replacing 14,000 humans with robots. I always knew there was something a bit off with Bezos's wife.

I don't want to warn the Senate the natives are getting restless, but on Halloween night in Los Angeles, kids were knocking on doors and shouting Trick or Food Stamps!

-- Argus Hamilton