I reduced my Scam Spam calls by 90%

[catfish1957]

This is kind of a "vanity thread", but I think I have perfected the perfect response to the "Indian Scam Spam" call....   I easily get 90% fewer calls since.  Please use or share as needed.  

Here is the brief skit:
Hello... (in your best offical sounding mono-tone 

Before this call  moves forward, I am required to inform you that this call is being reviewed and traced by a state of the art Conispie Model 375-B device.  This disclosure is  in accordance with FTC rules 16 CFR 14.478 (c) and Interpol statutes under Subset Article 55.  Furthermore this call trace is approved and sanctioned by the Reserve Bank of India.   

Therefore, I am requesting that you please remain on the line for another 2 minutes and 43 seconds.

(Then count down every 15 seconds). 

   None have lasted over a minute.

[MeganC]

 

[Smokin Joe]

I don't get them, nor charity entreaties.

The charity/political calls had reached the point where the phone rang every 15 minutes, from dawn to dusk (well, in winter here, that's only about 8 hours), but still often enough that it was becoming difficult to get anything done (before caller ID).

Finally, I started interrupting the spiel and saying "The density and intensity of solicitation phone calls has reached the point that we will no longer give any donations to organizations which solicit funds over the phone, no matter how worthy. If you have this number, you have this address, and the only requests for funds which may receive a positive response will be those conducted by mail." >click<

I still get a phenomenal amount of mail asking for donations, have enough address labels to last me for life if I live to 150, not to mention other doo-dads and tote bags, but the phone is generally quiet.