Exclusive: We Have Acquired A Copy Of Joe Biden's Debate Prep Notes

[mystery-ak]

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a daring feat of undercover journalism, The Babylon Bee's embedded DC reporter has acquired a leaked copy of Joe Biden's debate prep notes. We are proud to introduce them to the world for the first time. Please enjoy. Many undercover journalists died to bring us this information.

Here they are in all their glory:





The pictured scan has been translated for you below:

(page 1)

My Debate Notes:

Reminder: You are JOE BIDEN and you are running for PRESIDENT

You're from SCRANTON

You used to be VP with Obama

ORANGE MAN BAD

Answer Key:

    Hunter & Ukraine = "Come on, man!"
    Taxes & Jobs = "Look, here's the deal."
    Emergency use only = "You're a lying, dog-faced pony soldier!"
    If you get lost = "You know, the thing!"

Reminders:

    Tug on your left ear and Chris Wallace will throw you a softball
    Go backstage between commercials for MORE DRUGS!
    Don't forget to tell Corn Pop story

Ideas:

    Push up contest?
    Punching and slapping?

(page 2)

Give the Gettyzburg Address!

(complete transcript of the Gettysburg Address)

My favorite Hair (for inspiration)

(three doodles of women with different hairstyles)

**NO SNIFFING OF HAIR**

(even if you want to)

The Babylon Bee was also able to acquire Trump's debate prep notes, but it was just a napkin on which he had written, "You are amazing, go get 'em tiger!"

https://babylonbee.com/news/exclusive-we-have-acquired-a-copy-joe-bidens-debate-prep-notes

[Right_in_Virginia]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry ....   Ah, hell, I guess I'll laugh 

[mountaineer]

BREAKING: Joe Biden’s Campaign Requests Breaks EVERY 30 MINUTES during Tonight’s First Debate — VIDEO
By Jim Hoft
Published September 29, 2020 at 9:54am

On Tuesday morning the Biden Campaign requested TWO debate breaks tonight during the presidential debate. The Biden campaign want breaks EVERY 30 MINUTES during the debate tonight!

So far the Trump campaign has NOT AGREED to this last minute request by the Biden Campaign! ... https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/09/breaking-joe-bidens-campaign-requests-breaks-every-30-minutes-tonights-first-debate/

[mountaineer]

Jesse Kelly  @JesseKellyDC
Prepare yourself for Joe Biden to do better than you think he will tonight. He’s a good debater and we all remember how he beat the crap out of hapless Paul Ryan. Plus, he’ll be on more drugs than Keith Richards. Should do well until those wear off.
9:32 AM · Sep 29, 2020

Benny  @bennyjohnson
BREAKING: Team Trump requested  that each candidate have their ears inspected for electronic devices before the Debate, Team Biden has not consented. Team Biden has also requested a break every 30 minutes during tonight’s Debate.
11:19 AM · Sep 29, 2020·

[PeteS in CA]

I expect Biden will at least be adequate. Trump will probably do well.

I hear that if you take my expectations and a fiver to 7-Eleven you can get a coffee and change.

[Wingnut]