Nearly 15 minutes, and not a mention of duct tape. Some times you just have to notice the good things in the world.
So my first thought was why put the weight on her in the first place? Use wheels. Maybe a shopping cart or furniture dolly repurposed (or, now that I think about it, a shop vac running in reverse).
Then, of course, it had to be self driven. Sure, you can buy a motorized leaf vacuum. If you're a girl.
This led me to debating adding a supercharger. On one hand, duh. On the other hand, she'd have to deal with too many people asking "why do you have a supercharger on your leaf blower?" which eventually leads to digging holes in the yard, which as you mentioned has oak trees which tends to make burying, um, things, difficult.
Then I remembered that this is the age of the internet, and plugged "tim allen leaf blower" into my favorite non-google search engine. I was not disappointed. Then I searched for "Iowa punter", and again, not disappointed.