Author Topic: Today's Toons 1/26/26 (Read 746 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** January 26, 2026, 06:51:16 am »

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

New York Mayor Mamdani and his wife Rachel appeared at a grade school in Lower Manhattan Monday and led the kids in singing The Wheels on the Bus. It made great TV. The singing was all sweet and happy until somebody on the bus shouted Allahu Akbar and everybody dove under their seats.

The National Weather Service reported a southward dip in the Jet Stream will unleash a Polar Vortex of Arctic air to freeze the nation's mid-section this week. But here in Los Angeles, gentle desert breezes are producing spectacularly warm temperatures. I call it Joe Biden weather-83 and hazy.

CBS News reported the ICE agent who shot and killed the attacking motorist in Minneapolis was himself injured in the melee. The contending sides live in separate realities. The ICE agent is in the hospital with internal bleeding, prompting Progressives to speculate that he might be on his period.

President Trump was reported weighing sending the National Guard to Minneapolis Thursday to quell the leftist rioting. The accusations by the street protestors are getting wilder and wilder. I swear I've never seen a pregnant man being dragged down the street by an ICE agent, but here's hoping.

Venezuela's Nobel Peace Prize winner Maria Machado told reporters she presented Trump with her Nobel Peace Prize. It presented a dilemma. If Trump accepts the Peace Prize just days before he attacks Iran, he'll look as weird as Obama did for accepting the Peace Prize for doing nothing.

The U.S. Geological Survey reported that California has been struck by over forty earthquakes this past week up and down the Golden State during the one-year anniversary of the LA fires. President Trump collated the information and re-named San Andreas. From now on, it'll be called Gavin's Fault.

President Trump met with Denmark's foreign minister over the president's desire to acquire Greenland. Agreeing to a request by Denmark, Germany just sent 13 soldiers to Greenland, causing concern. Apparently, the Germans have us confused with France and think 13 soldiers should do the trick.

A Minneapolis illegal criminal attacked an ICE agent with a shovel while resisting, so the ICE agent responded by shooting the attacker in the leg. How diplomatic. Shooting an ICE attacker in the leg seems to me like a perfectly reasonable way to meet the protesters halfway and defuse the tension.

ICE is reported getting help from legal migrants in Hispanic communities to identify and locate criminal migrants...it takes Juan to know Juan.

President Trump attended the national college football title game at the Orange Bowl Monday night in Miami. Trump sat in the luxury box loving every minute of the evening, and it's easy to see why. The Orange Bowl is the only football stadium named after the sitting President of the United States.

President Trump said he hopes to make a deal in Davos for U.S. military control of Greenland, a deal which analysts believe will respect Danish sovereignty. Europe is preparing for a worst-case scenario. French troops arrived in Greenland this week to train the locals how to surrender to the U.S.

Bobby Kennedy urged schools Tuesday to remove ultra-processed foods from the lunch menus and offer fruits, vegetables and grains to produce healthier children. I'd say it's about time. The U.S. childhood obesity rate is so high that photos of missing kids can now only fit on gallon milk cartons.

Snow Pack website reported that ski resorts across the United States are enjoying a fantastic season with the snowfall across the U.S. upper tier. Winter sports in the Upper Midwest are drawing great ratings. Every day, Fox News sets aside 5 minutes for ICE Fishing to report their Catch of the Day.

The DOJ issued grand jury subpoenas to Governor Walz and Mayor Jacob Frey to see if they interfered with federal law enforcement Tuesday. The same day, Attorney General Pam Bondi paid Minneapolis a surprise visit, causing a panic. Word spread quickly throughout the city to look American.

A study in Minnesota of 100 women over 40 shows that a short bad haircut causes you to become fat and angry.

Today thousands of illegal aliens in the South self-deported when The Weather Channel en Espanol reported that an ice storm was coming.

This week at Davos President Trump was denied permission by Western Europe to invade Greenland after he refused to convert to Islam.

California was struck by 40 earthquakes in this past week. Democrats are furious that Trump didn't get Congressional approval first.

ICE has now watched more kids in Minneapolis than a Somali day care center.

After a week of Arctic storm warnings, Southerners are relieved to see there is just snow on the roads today. It looks like those anti-ICE protests worked.

Scientists warn that the Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by 2027 if they keep coming true at the current rate.

Dylan Mulvaney will play Anne Boleyn on Broadway beginning February 16th. For 500 years the worst thing that ever happened to Anne Boleyn was being beheaded. That is no longer true.

-- Argus Hamilton