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Exclusive Content => Editorials => Topic started by: mirraflake on November 02, 2016, 03:09:02 am

Title: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: mirraflake on November 02, 2016, 03:09:02 am
I posted another thread earlier and saw some interesting comments how people met.

I'll get the ball rolling.

My wife and I went to the same  University-at the same time, live in the same dorm complex freshman year- huge dorm. Went to the same bars, ate at the same cafeteria, I knew her roommate, who was a RA at the dorm because we held a party and it got out of hand, we were written up and had to go to judicial committee which she was presiding.

I suspect we  never met because her classes were on one side of the campus and mine the other and we left out of different doors. Our rooms were on opposite sides of the building and different floors...maybe something a simple as that kept us parted.

Out of college we both lived in the same apartment complex, easily1000 apartments or more so it was easy not to meet.

We both ended up in a same town across the state.  I moved there in 'late 80's, she in early 90's and we met at age 34 and married at age 36. I walked into where she worked and both of us were checking each other out. It was so obvious. No guessing if there was mutual interest.

I called her for a date and she said yes and admitted later if I never called her she would have called and asked me out. After the first date I knew we would be married. I really did. Dinner date lasted 4 hours and neither of us shut up or had a awkward pause. Pure chemistry. We dated again a few days later and that was it.  We never had the talk about dating other people or being exclusive..is that the term? After two dates we were exclusive but never discussed it.

Our birth dates are 3 days apart, both Catholic,both like the same music for the most part, same movies.

What are the odds?


Married almost 20 years.. Still have  a date night nearly every Saturday night. Argued some like everybody

As another poster said, you find your mate when you least expect it. Never give up and don't try to hard. Never discuss politics or religion until you both really know each other. Like sex to early it can  kill a relationship. We disagree on both across the board. I have turned more liberal, she has turned more conservative.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Frank Cannon on November 02, 2016, 05:02:31 am
Met my wife drunk in a bar. Fortunately when I sobered up, she was still hot.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: EC on November 02, 2016, 06:34:31 am
Met in the cinema. She'd lost her handbag, I helped her find it. Couple of days later, I'm sitting in the pub having a pint and she walked in and bought me a drink as thanks. It sort of went from there. 42 years now.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: kalee on November 02, 2016, 06:40:57 am
My college roommate introduced us. My husband said he knew I was the one the moment he saw me; I however needed some persuasion.  ;) He was persistent lol and we've been married 39 years. <3
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: GtHawk on November 02, 2016, 06:42:16 am
We both worked in The Steakhouse at Knott's Berry Farm, we went horseback riding  with a group of co workers one night after work in the summer and I told her I was going to put a ring on her finger. This Halloween was the forty first anniversary of our engagement and coming up on forty one years of marriage.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: LMAO on November 02, 2016, 01:37:54 pm
College
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: chae on November 02, 2016, 01:48:10 pm
Online.  We were both members of this social network and I saw a picture he had posted of a tattoo that he had just gotten.  It looked similar to a graphic novel I was reading at the time and I messaged him and asked if he had ever heard of the artist and he said that he had, that was why he had the tat done that way, and we just talked from there. 
He lived in Panama City Beach, but was staying with his mother at Scott Air Force base in Illinois due to a hurricane bearing down on PCB.  So after talking we decided to meet at a restaurant nearby.
He went back to Florida, we continued talking and started seeing each other exclusively on New Years Eve.  Two years after that he asked me to marry him. 
I love him, but I have issues with marriage and explained that to him, he's cool with it, and we've been together for almost 12 years.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Silver Pines on November 02, 2016, 01:58:28 pm
He was getting over a relationship with a complete nutcase (I used to work with her).  I was seeing two guys, neither seriously, wondering why I couldn't seem to find the right one and thinking it was time to take a break from dating.  His mother was a client of mine; after hearing me say pretty much the same, she said, "Do I have the man for you."  So of course both he and I were resistant to the idea of a blind date set up by his mother, and we were also at a place where we just needed a break, like I said.  But we were talked into it, and for my part I was privately like, fine, let's get this over with. 

So we met for dinner and a movie, and it was unlike any first date either of us ever had.  It was as though we had always known one another.  There was none of the awkwardness, or the hunting around for things in common, or the searching for things to talk about.
We never looked back. And we just celebrated our 20th anniversary.

@mirraflake, cool thread.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Silver Pines on November 02, 2016, 01:59:38 pm
My college roommate introduced us. My husband said he knew I was the one the moment he saw me; I however needed some persuasion.  ;) He was persistent lol and we've been married 39 years. <3

@kalee

I read somewhere that men fall in love more quickly than women.  I tend to think it's true.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Frank Cannon on November 02, 2016, 02:06:41 pm
@kalee

I read somewhere that men fall in love more quickly than women.  I tend to think it's true.

I think the word that escaped you is lust and not love. That will get the ball rolling every time.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: r9etb on November 02, 2016, 02:20:32 pm
I was a houseboy working in a sorority.  They introduced the new pledge class, and she was in it.  It wasn't love at first sight, but it was sort of like a curtain being opened: I knew from the moment I saw her that we would end up married .... just passed the 30 year mark.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: thackney on November 02, 2016, 02:33:56 pm
Mutual friends introduced us.  We went out a couple times, nothing there for either of us.

A couple of years later, I moved to Yemen (1993).  Lived in a construction camp on the southern edge of the Rub' al Khali (empty quarter).  60 miles from the nearest paved road.  Probably 100 miles from the nearest flush toilet.  Started writing letters out of boredom.  She wrote back. 

We courted by mail.  Several months later, I flew back to Houston.  We got together, rented a beach house with friends. 

Back to Yemen, many letters later, many months later, I flew her to Italy for a week together on my R&R. 

Back to Yemen, many letters later, many months later, I flew her to Mexico City for a long weekend.  I found an diamond ring under a park bench and asked her to marry me. (Okay, I palmed the ring, but for about 2 seconds, she thought I just found it.)   

Back to Yemen, many letters later, many months later, back in the states for Christmas, meet her parents, schedule a date for the wedding. 

Back to Yemen, many letters later, many months later, return to the states to live in the beach house I gave her cash to buy for me. (okay, with a limited power of attorney)  Married later that year.

Sense of humor, willingness to do what needed done when it was needed (this has been big for both of us).  Conservative values, family was important to her, she was already comfortable with who she was and wasn't.  Commitment was real for both of us, life-long from when we decided to be together.

We still have the letters.  The kids can read them after we die.  It was the only way we had to learn about each other, deep beheld beliefs, sex, fears, etc.  I was limited to one 10 minute satellite phone call per week; call her one week, my parents the next; they each would then call the other.  Folks that only know today's world of email, IM, social media have not a clue what I experienced.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Taxcontrol on November 02, 2016, 02:38:09 pm
When I met my wife, I was wearing a "dress" and she was wearing "pants".

It was the annual April Fools day parade at Leavenworth, KS.  I was with a living history group (SCA) and she was with the local college drama department (St Mary's college).  I was dressed in an early Norman costume (long tunic) and she was dressed as a belly dancer (harem pants).  We started dating the next day and after 3 weeks, I told her I was going to marry her.  I didn't ask, I told her.  Of course she thought I was a cocky SOB at the time and it took a few months to wear her down and accept the idea, but we have been married 24 years now.  Still loving it.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: mountaineer on November 02, 2016, 02:40:20 pm
Both of us were lawyers who absolutely hated practicing law, but out of desperation accepted jobs at a law firm and started working there the same day. He lasted about seven months there, 14 months for me, then we were fortunate to get out and find more rewarding careers. Got married 2 yrs. and five months after we met. Now married 20 years.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Silver Pines on November 02, 2016, 02:46:53 pm
I think the word that escaped you is lust and not love. That will get the ball rolling every time.

@Frank Cannon

Well, you make a good point, lol.  But women lust, too. 
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: mirraflake on November 02, 2016, 02:49:23 pm
I was a houseboy working in a sorority.  They introduced the new pledge class, and she was in it.  It wasn't love at first sight, but it was sort of like a curtain being opened: I knew from the moment I saw her that we would end up married .... just passed the 30 year mark.

 Everyone in my fraternity had to be a houseboy for 2 weeks at our "sister" sorority. We set the dinner tables, served their dinner and cleaned up and washed the dishes. is that what you had to do?

We were ornery little sh*ts.  One weekend was the formal Mother-Daughter dinner.     Banana splits was the dessert. Someone had the idea of putting a whole banana in each bowl with 2 scoops of ice cream at the base and whip cream at the top of the banana and then serving it to the girls and their moms.   

I was not there but heard the girls and their mom's cracked up with laughter but the house mother went ballistic and started screaming and yelling at the houseboys  and ended up kicking them out. She was a mean old thing , always had  a scowl on her face. I guess living with and being responsible 60 young girls would make you battle hardened.

I loved that job. No money but met some great girls and still have many of them  on my FB page. Our Chi-O sisters were great.


I would give anything to go back to those days. The 1980s was the best time in my life.
@r9etb

Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Frank Cannon on November 02, 2016, 02:57:11 pm
@Frank Cannon

Well, you make a good point, lol.  But women lust, too.

Maybe, but they are a lot more closer to the vest with that information. Once the chemicals in men get flowing they become dopes.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: r9etb on November 02, 2016, 02:57:35 pm
Everyone in my fraternity had to be a houseboy for 2 weeks at our "sister" sorority. We set the dinner tables, served their dinner and cleaned up and washed the dishes. is that what you had to do?

I actually lived in a room in the basement of the sorority.  Washed dishes, kept the kitchen clean, did odd jobs, and such.  Room, board, and enough money to buy books and pay tuition. 

Didn't actually start dating her until she left the house (sorority life was not for her).
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: mirraflake on November 02, 2016, 03:05:27 pm
I actually lived in a room in the basement of the sorority.  Washed dishes, kept the kitchen clean, did odd jobs, and such.  Room, board, and enough money to buy books and pay tuition. 


No Penthouse letter type of stories?  Never seen your arrangement before-a guy living in a sorority.   We were only allowed in the kitchen and dining room, not even allowed into the front lobby 9as houseboys). No pay strictly slave labor lol. The house mother was strict.

@r9etb
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Frank Cannon on November 02, 2016, 03:09:04 pm
No Penthouse letter type of stories?  Never seen your arrangement before-a guy living in a sorority.   We were only allowed in the kitchen and dining room, not even allowed into the front lobby 9as houseboys). No pay strictly slave labor lol. The house mother was strict.

@r9etb

Well we didn't have anything like this "Houseboy" deal with our sister fraternity.....unless some of my brothers were into kinky stuff, which would have been highly probable.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: r9etb on November 02, 2016, 03:11:07 pm
No Penthouse letter type of stories?  Never seen your arrangement before-a guy living in a sorority.   We were only allowed in the kitchen and dining room, not even allowed into the front lobby 9as houseboys). No pay strictly slave labor lol. The house mother was strict.

Alas, no.... I'm an engineer through and through, and thereby largely oblivious to possibilities and even blatant hints.  Plus which, I followed the rules about fraternizing with the local girls.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: mirraflake on November 02, 2016, 03:27:11 pm
.unless some of my brothers were into kinky stuff, which would have been highly probable.

I lived with 65-70 men for 3 1/2 years. Kinky stuff is not the start of it. Really saw the 'secret life" of women I always heard about and suspected.
@Frank Cannon
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Joe Wooten on November 02, 2016, 04:09:56 pm
I met my current wife 33 years ago on June 15, 1983 at Cape Canaveral for the launch of the shuttle Challenger (STS-7). Both of us were a part of a tour for the launch sponsored by the National Space Society. Her sister and I were members at the time. We met at the wine, cheese, and beer party at the motel pool, and knew before the evening was done that we were together for life.

Married as soon as she could get a church in Chicago to let us. Oct. 1, 1983.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Wingnut on November 02, 2016, 04:18:47 pm
I was working her (my future wife) to get to her hot friend.  Turns out her friend was a space cadet with serial killer tendencies.  The sex was good but it I learned early that there is no nookie in the world good enough to die for.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: mirraflake on November 02, 2016, 05:22:47 pm
Interesting how many people knew by the end of the first date marriage was a given.
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Joe Wooten on November 03, 2016, 11:34:48 am
54 Year Old Catholic City Boy Married To A Country Cowgirl.

That's too funny. I'm a country boy who married a city Catholic girl........
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Jazzhead on November 03, 2016, 12:24:06 pm
 I met Mrs. Jazz at a college mixer my freshman year.   I had been accepted to college,  but only off the waiting list, so I had to start my freshman year in January.   Six weeks later,  on Valentine's Day (!), was the fateful mixer.  Height of the disco era, mirror balls and smoke machines.   It was midnight,  I was hanging with friends and decided I wanted to see if I could get one last dance.   I approached a total stranger with long brown hair and a turtleneck.  A Mexican girl from SoCal.   We ended up chatting (just chatting!)  until the sun rose.   

She was only the second girl I ever dated,  but it probably took less than two months before I proposed (although we didn't marry for years later when I was in law school).   She'd gone back to Cali to start her career,  but pulled up stakes to join me back east,  and worked minimum wage jobs before she could get back into her chosen field.

In Mirraflake's other thread,  I quoted Neil Young - just around the next corner may be waiting your true love.    That's what gets me about the last 40 years  -  we'd have never met if I hadn't,  on a whim,  approached her as the night was winding down.  It was a huge school, we didn't go to the same classes and travelled in different social circles.   A total case of one moment in time changing absolutely everything.   Is that fate?   Luck?  Something else?   

 We're a mixed marriage when it comes to politics - she's a staunch liberal,  and this will be, sadly, the first year I won't be voting for the Republican for President.   Forty years of cancelling out each other's vote!   I think my marriage is where I get my pragmatic streak from.    I guess we're like Carville and Matalin  - we don't avoid politics, we hash it out,  we enjoy the give and take.   But I have to know when to stop and not push things too far.   And I can't say we've ever had a serious argument about the real important things like raising the kids.  Finally - and I can't stress this enough - THE key to a successful marriage - especially of the opposites-attract variety -  is to give each other lots of space and room to be alone with one's own hobbies and interests.

   All in all,  I'm a lucky man; I've got the greatest kids,  my wife is my best friend, and, damn, she's hotter than the night we met.   (Me, not so much)   
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: mirraflake on November 03, 2016, 04:48:29 pm
 

 We're a mixed marriage when it comes to politics - she's a staunch liberal,  and this will be, sadly, the first year I won't be voting for the Republican for President.   Forty years of cancelling out each other's vote!   I think my marriage is where I get my pragmatic streak from.    I guess we're like Carville and Matalin  - we don't avoid politics, we hash it out,  we enjoy the give and take.   But I have to know when to stop and not push things too far.   And I can't say we've ever had a serious argument about the real important things like raising the kids.  Finally - and I can't stress this enough - THE key to a successful marriage - especially of the opposites-attract variety -  is to give each other lots of space and room to be alone with one's own hobbies and interests.


Wow, same here. my wife was liberal when we married and I staunch conservative.  I always joked I was going to tie her to the bed on election day so MY vote counted.

Over the years she has become more conservative (especially after running her own business)  and me more liberal-(I have no problem with gays or gay marriage now-I did at one time).
We are both voting for Trump..my wife cannot stand Hillary

@Jazzhead
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Gefn on November 04, 2016, 11:47:03 am
As a single gal, I really love this thread and reading all these beautiful stories.

Thank you.

 :kisses2:
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: jmyrlefuller on November 04, 2016, 12:04:26 pm
As a single gal, I really love this thread and reading all these beautiful stories.

Thank you.

 :kisses2:
Seconded. (As a guy.)
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Jazzhead on November 04, 2016, 12:22:15 pm
Wow, same here. my wife was liberal when we married and I staunch conservative.  I always joked I was going to tie her to the bed on election day so MY vote counted.

Over the years she has become more conservative (especially after running her own business)  and me more liberal-(I have no problem with gays or gay marriage now-I did at one time).
We are both voting for Trump..my wife cannot stand Hillary

Politics can break a marriage apart, but it doesn't have to be that way.   We have certain boundaries,  such as no lawn signs or retail campaign work,  but I give to my candidates and she, I presume, gives to hers.   And,  of course what "Jazzhead" has to say on the internet is subject to no spousal filter.   

But ultimately,  I've been a politics and policy wonk for as long as I can remember,  and it's great fun to test my ideas and beliefs against someone who gives as good as she gets.   Like I said,  it's made me be more pragmatic,  and able to see areas of reconciliation that partisans who operate in echo chambers simply cannot.

Glad to see you won't be cancelling out your votes this year!     
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Gefn on November 04, 2016, 12:49:05 pm
Yesterday would have been my parents anniversary. It's hard, dad isn't even gone a month.

Anyway, my folks met at a funeral of all places. You know after a funeral, you go back to someone's house to pay respects?

My dad had a friend who died when he was 27 from cancer. My mom knew his fiancé, who was 20. They met each other at this man's mothers house. Dad was smitten as soon as he saw her. He made another friend get her phone number and called her a day or so later.

That was March and they were married in November.

I'm just glad dad went before mom. If it was the other way around he would have died of a broken heart about ten minutes after her. I'm convinced of that.

I'm sorry I know this thread says "how did you meet your spouse" I needed to share I'm really hurting over my dad's death. Thank you
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Jazzhead on November 04, 2016, 01:21:55 pm
Freya,  my dad almost did die of a broken heart after my mom passed.   I'd never seen the man cry,  but cry he did, like a fountain.  And he was a recluse for months after.   But then the fates smiled - he met a woman, a widow of the same age,  and the two found love again.   

My dad is now 88 and not long, I'm afraid, for this world.  But his dear bride is still by his side.  I'll be visiting them this weekend,  and like I always do,  tell his bride that she's the solid rock that saved him.

Freya,  my condolences for your loss.     
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: LateForLunch on November 04, 2016, 03:45:47 pm
I was working her (my future wife) to get to her hot friend.  Turns out her friend was a space cadet with serial killer tendencies.  The sex was good but it I learned early that there is no nookie in the world good enough to die for.

You and I may disagree on some things, but that is the funniest post I have read on any forum for a long time!! Kudos. Maybe it's hilarious because it's 1000% true.

Point of information: I once read that most men report that the best physical relationships (sex) they have had was not with the best-looking females they had been with. That matches my own experience. Also, when asked the most important thing that determines a woman's attractiveness most men answered "skin complexion" and "responsiveness/enjoyment of love-making".
Title: Re: How Did You Meet Your Spouse? What Was The Attraction?
Post by: Idaho_Cowboy on November 04, 2016, 04:58:53 pm
Yesterday would have been my parents anniversary. It's hard, dad isn't even gone a month.

Anyway, my folks met at a funeral of all places. You know after a funeral, you go back to someone's house to pay respects?

My dad had a friend who died when he was 27 from cancer. My mom knew his fiancé, who was 20. They met each other at this man's mothers house. Dad was smitten as soon as he saw her. He made another friend get her phone number and called her a day or so later.

That was March and they were married in November.

I'm just glad dad went before mom. If it was the other way around he would have died of a broken heart about ten minutes after her. I'm convinced of that.

I'm sorry I know this thread says "how did you meet your spouse" I needed to share I'm really hurting over my dad's death. Thank you
Thanks for sharing @Freya that's quite a story. Hang in there.