The Briefing Room

General Category => Health/Education => Topic started by: mirraflake on April 27, 2017, 03:03:40 pm

Title: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: mirraflake on April 27, 2017, 03:03:40 pm
Following up on the booger article yesterday


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4449712/From-cats-humans-mammals-poop-12-seconds.html

Whether wild or domestic, hunter or hunted, 10lbs or 10,000, there’s one thing all mammals have in common – the time they take to poop.
According to a new study, all mammals take an average of 12 seconds to relieve themselves, and apply about the same amount of pressure to do so, regardless of size differences.
Researchers investigating the hydrodynamics of defecation found that mammals, from cats to elephants (and even humans), rely on a layer of mucus to carry fecal matter quickly through the large intestine ‘like a sled sliding through a chute.’

Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: GtHawk on April 27, 2017, 04:47:19 pm
Oh Yeah? Even if they got's the diarrhea or constipitations?
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: geronl on April 27, 2017, 07:48:59 pm
I know people who can spend an hour in there.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: andy58-in-nh on April 27, 2017, 07:55:20 pm
That must have been some fun field research.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: 240B on April 27, 2017, 08:04:31 pm
Nonsense. I can't imagine why this was written, or why anyone would choose to publish it, but it is total nonsense just on the face of it. It certainly doesn't apply to me. And the last time I checked, I'm still a member of the every mammal on Earth club.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: roamer_1 on April 27, 2017, 08:13:37 pm
Researchers investigating the hydrodynamics of defecation found that mammals, from cats to elephants (and even humans), rely on a layer of mucus to carry fecal matter quickly through the large intestine ‘like a sled sliding through a chute.’

The author is blissfully unaware of the consequences inherent in a high cheese diet.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Ghost Bear on April 27, 2017, 08:16:48 pm
That must have been some fun field research.

I was thinking it must have been a really sh!tty job.   :whistle:
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Ghost Bear on April 27, 2017, 08:18:21 pm
What everyone is missing in the snippet quoted is the all-important word, average.

So yeah, sometimes more, sometimes less, but on average, 12 seconds.  :shrug:
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: EC on April 27, 2017, 08:21:01 pm
If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Wingnut on April 27, 2017, 08:29:03 pm
Did you know The Eskimos were the first people to have ICBM's?   I wonder if that slowed down the 12 sec average or sped it up?
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: skeeter on April 27, 2017, 08:31:10 pm
Thank heavens I've never had a boss who seemed aware of this.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: 240B on April 27, 2017, 08:37:06 pm
What everyone is missing in the snippet quoted is the all-important word, average.

So yeah, sometimes more, sometimes less, but on average, 12 seconds.  :shrug:
Ok
So we are to believe that this researcher is a modern day Noah, and miraculously had access to "every mammal on Earth" long enough to study how long it takes them to poop. Did he measure a platypus, and a blue whale?

I've heard of people with too much time on their hands, but this is a whole new level.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Cripplecreek on April 27, 2017, 08:41:41 pm
I have nothing of value to ad here.

(http://i.imgur.com/Dr3k4Ya.gif)
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Ghost Bear on April 27, 2017, 08:51:28 pm
Did you know The Eskimos were the first people to have ICBM's?   I wonder if that slowed down the 12 sec average or sped it up?

Quoting the article, "like a sled sliding through a chute."  Now, imagine a luge...   :pondering:

(http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/20140115/4953823/luge-o.gif)
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Ghost Bear on April 27, 2017, 08:52:55 pm
If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?

Technically to balance out it wouldn't have to be one mammal doing it in microseconds, just a whole lot of mammals doing it in 11 seconds...
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Cripplecreek on April 27, 2017, 08:56:28 pm
Quoting the article, "like a sled sliding through a chute."  Now, imagine a luge...   :pondering:



Unhg

(http://i.imgur.com/wwYffyN.gif)
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: geronl on April 27, 2017, 09:16:24 pm
I think this study is a pile of crap!
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Wingnut on April 27, 2017, 09:24:07 pm
I have nothing of value to ad here.

(http://i.imgur.com/Dr3k4Ya.gif)

You have the right to remain Silent....... but Deadly....
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: endicom on April 27, 2017, 09:43:50 pm
Enough of this eliminationist rhetoric.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: r9etb on April 27, 2017, 09:56:53 pm
If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?

Somebody with an armor-plated toilet....  hopefully one with really good splash guards.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: geronl on April 27, 2017, 09:57:09 pm
We all know this machine could suck it out in a fraction of a second.

(http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/_UXDNjsV1GE/hqdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Wingnut on April 27, 2017, 11:25:39 pm
Somebody with an armor-plated toilet....  hopefully one with really good splash guards.

Blast zone safety guide:
(http://dscll.imgix.net/2015/03/bullseye7.png?w=686&h=386&auto=format)
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: r9etb on April 27, 2017, 11:38:48 pm
Blast zone safety guide:
(http://dscll.imgix.net/2015/03/bullseye7.png?w=686&h=386&auto=format)

 :silly: :silly: :silly:
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: goodwithagun on April 27, 2017, 11:54:21 pm
I'll go ahead and "drop" this here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Wingnut on April 27, 2017, 11:57:23 pm
:silly: :silly: :silly:

A quide for the MOAB of poop
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Polly Ticks on April 28, 2017, 12:37:18 am
I'll go ahead and "drop" this here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q

Well, that was disturbing.

I'm just going to cross-reference with @pookie18 's toons from this morning, while we're being grossed out.

(http://i.imgur.com/jG7v4bu.jpg)

Yeah, definitely lactose intolerant.

Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: mirraflake on April 28, 2017, 12:42:04 am
Tomorrow morning everyone will be "one thousand one, one thousand two..."
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: mirraflake on April 28, 2017, 12:45:14 am
Jon Lovitz  on Prairie Doggin it..

I will never look at Prairie dogs the same ever again. Ingenious though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNxtPl7SaDQ

Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: rodamala on April 28, 2017, 12:53:41 am
Thank heavens I've never had a boss who seemed aware of this.

@skeeter

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.
That's why I shit, while on company time.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: anubias on April 28, 2017, 01:28:55 am
If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?

 :seeya:
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Smokin Joe on April 28, 2017, 05:07:29 am
Did you know The Eskimos were the first people to have ICBM's?   I wonder if that slowed down the 12 sec average or sped it up?
No.no. no. That was Icy BMs, not ICBMs. Sheesh!
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: geronl on April 28, 2017, 05:49:59 am
These bits are all a waste product
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Gefn on April 28, 2017, 06:11:37 am
What everyone is missing in the snippet quoted is the all-important word, average.

So yeah, sometimes more, sometimes less, but on average, 12 seconds.  :shrug:

With my diverticulitis I'm lucky if I spend five minutes..... I usually can read half a magazine during that time... and it's every three to four days.

I WISH I could do a 12 second poop.

Now the bird that keeps getting my car on the other hand.....
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Gefn on April 28, 2017, 06:13:06 am
@skeeter

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.
That's why I shit, while on company time.


 @rodamala 's  back! Huzzah!!!!
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: mirraflake on April 28, 2017, 11:24:31 am
My 3 dogs this morning  averaged 11-13 seconds. I was at 14 seconds but that was counting one thousand one one thousand two so it might be off a bit.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Smokin Joe on April 28, 2017, 11:42:35 am
My 3 dogs this morning  averaged 11-13 seconds. I was at 14 seconds but that was counting one thousand one one thousand two so it might be off a bit.
Dude, that's more information than we really needed. I'm just amazed some coprophile out there has found a niche doing this sort of research in the first place.

As for me, I'll be done by the end of the chapter. That's why there are two bathrooms.

Besides, no one in their right mind wants to be in a hurry to be next.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: skeeter on April 28, 2017, 02:03:49 pm
@skeeter

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.
That's why I shit, while on company time.

Succinctly put.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Suppressed on April 28, 2017, 02:06:17 pm
What everyone is missing in the snippet quoted is the all-important word, average.

So yeah, sometimes more, sometimes less, but on average, 12 seconds.  :shrug:

The question then becomes, which average?  Arithmetic mean? Harmonic Mean? Geometric Mean?  Median?  Mode?  etc.

I'm wondering whether the mode might be far higher!
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: rangerrebew on April 28, 2017, 03:50:12 pm
I can't even get all my reading material ready in 12 seconds. :silly:  Anyway, to do such meaningless research would indicate the experimenter was a liberal and had some government money to waste.  Get it, waste? 000hehehehe
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Polly Ticks on April 28, 2017, 03:53:17 pm
Besides, no one in their right mind wants to be in a hurry to be next.


(https://scentsationsflorida.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/pou-pourri-header.jpg)
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: roamer_1 on April 28, 2017, 04:40:58 pm

(https://scentsationsflorida.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/pou-pourri-header.jpg)

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51HIJi3OqWL.jpg)
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: geronl on April 28, 2017, 04:47:26 pm
The question then becomes, which average?  Arithmetic mean? Harmonic Mean? Geometric Mean?  Median?  Mode?  etc.

I'm wondering whether the mode might be far higher!

Poop Allah Mode?
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: geronl on April 28, 2017, 04:49:00 pm
Such useful stuff...

(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61kloy%2BT%2BTL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Smokin Joe on April 28, 2017, 07:46:59 pm
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51HIJi3OqWL.jpg)
Uh, No sparks or open flames! Sheesh!  *****rollingeyes*****
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: r9etb on April 28, 2017, 08:00:46 pm
Uh, No sparks or open flames! Sheesh!  *****rollingeyes*****

So I guess now we know how you got your screen name.....   :whistle:
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Smokin Joe on April 28, 2017, 09:41:12 pm
So I guess now we know how you got your screen name.....   :whistle:
Nah. That goes back to my days as a firefighter.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: uglybiker on April 30, 2017, 12:11:54 am
Oh Yeah? Even if they got's the diarrhea or constipitations?

What if they've got a magazine?
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Cripplecreek on April 30, 2017, 12:13:57 am
What if they've got a magazine?

Damn slow readers skewing the results they is.
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Joe Wooten on April 30, 2017, 01:53:58 am
If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?

The poor sap who drank the water in Juarez.........
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: 240B on April 30, 2017, 11:24:10 pm

one thousand one
one thousand two
That's it. I just shat myself.
maybe he's right. I have to go
Title: Re: Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop
Post by: Wingnut on May 01, 2017, 12:19:30 am
12 seconds can be an eternity...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLlCdEKiTWg&ab_channel=DukeE.Mann