Toddler Puts Self Up For Adoption After Seeing Mom Scrolling Lindsay Clancy TikTok

[Free Vulcan]

DANBURY, CT — According to sources, a toddler has reportedly put herself up for adoption after witnessing his mother scrolling through Lindsay Clancy TikTok.

Four-year-old Michelle Sims was living her best life, pretending her mother's knee was a horsey, when her world came tumbling down. Sims' mother wasn't trying to be a horsey at all -- she was instead staring at her phone, watching videos of people pretending to kill their babies on TikTok.

Sims immediately ran to call CPS, crying, "I need a stranger to take me please. Anyone. Parent danger, stranger savior."

https://babylonbee.com/news/toddler-puts-self-up-for-adoption-after-seeing-mom-scrolling-lindsay-clancy-tiktok/

[Wingnut]

A man going off to work in the morning should not have to say, "Honey, I'm leaving. See you later, and oh, by the way, don't kill the kids while I'm gone.

[Cyber Liberty]

A man going off to work in the morning should not have to say, "Honey, I'm leaving. See you later, and oh, by the way, don't kill the kids while I'm gone.

Yet, here we are.....

[Wingnut]

Dating tips for men looking for marriage in 2026. 
Find someone who;

1. Wont kill your kids.
2. Doesn't have a dick..

[Right_in_Virginia]

Representatives from the Danbury Department of Children and Families were initially hesitant to let Sims put herself up for adoption, as no toddler had ever done so. Sources confirm they gave in, however, after recognizing the girl's mother on TikTok.

"She'd made her own video and it was super cringe," case worker Amber Snelling said. "I'm not so much concerned with the baby killing as I am with the cringe. No child should grow up around cringe."

At publishing time, Michelle Sims had been adopted by a loving couple who'd never heard of TikTok.

Talk about laughing and crying at the same time  ....