The Briefing Room
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Wingnut on November 26, 2020, 12:55:43 am
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So, I Just left the Smallmart with my service dog (My country will not let them build a huge one) where an out-of-state "Karen" with a basket full of TP asked me what kind of dog I had. You have seen her type before, a specimen of at least forty years trying desperately to be mistaken for her own daughter in, what I can only assume, was a pair of yoga pants, furry boots, a shirt that was strategically unbuttoned and a huge pair of sunglasses acting as a solar panel for her 'Let me speak to your manager' haircut. Anyway I said a service dog. Very rudely she yells what type of service? I said he is a BLD. What's a BLD? She asked as she is allowing my dog to lick her face. With a straight face I said "He is my butt licking dog ( BLD ). I can't find any toilet paper anywhere because of people like you hoarding the TP so he licks my ass clean...... The cashier lost it and walked away from the register.
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@Cyber Liberty Just say'n a Bluto would want to know.....
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@Wingnut
You are sooooo bad, good.
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@Wingnut
You are sooooo bad, good.
I am something. Not sure if I am either "good or bad". is what will be on my gravestone. I asked my wife, if she makes it beyond my expiration date to say: "My bleep husband of 50 years ago gave his last Fuk a few years ago. I only wish it was with the house keeper"
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Is Bluto Gone?
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Is Bluto Gone?
Cyber blasted his electronic carcass over 20 states.
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He seemed fun. :whistle:
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Cyber blasted his electronic carcass over 20 states.
Only 20? He is losing his touch! LOL
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Only 20? He is losing his touch! LOL
It was early in the day. Not fully charged.
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Great quip....
Here is one I had to go fish off another old forum. Happened a couple of years ago. (PG-13 warning)......
Today in fact I decided to participate in my local Coffee Klatch which consists of about 8 (+ or - 2) guys I used to work with, who like myself are retired. 90% of the conversation centers around politics, sports, personal ailments, and how much our wives are bitching at us. Conversation as usual was lively, I of course gave the details of my computer wrist issue.
Then, I looked over at my friend K____. He was wearing a contraption, with wires underneath his shirt, which I knew was one of those cardio-monitors. I slyly mentioned mentioned that "Wow K___ ...what is that? has L___ slapped a GPS device on to keep up with your ass? (Go To Hell Glance No. 1).
About 5 minutes later K___ pulls a out a piece of paper and starts writing on it. I snatch it from him, and asked what is this? Come to find out he has to document all his activities while the monitor in place. On the instructions...... I noticed and announced. You gotta tell these guys every time you urinate and deficate? isn't that 2 or 3 feet form your heart? (Go To Hell glance No. 2)
Finally, I noticed No. 6 on the activity list....... "Record any sexual activity". K__???? I don't see any sex on this sheet? What's wrong with you?
I then offered him what I thought was a very profitable dare..... K____? I'll give you $100 if you write down on your activity log..... Blow Job with a Smiley Face behind it. happy77. One condition, you've to give me an update of any reaction or feed back on that entry from the medical community.
(GoTo Hell look No. 3 and he didn't take the damned dare.)
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It was early in the day. Not fully charged.
The Kegorator was out of gas!.
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The Kegorator was out of gas!.
It's due for some maintenance. I got a cleaning kit that forces a solvent mixture up the supply hose through the faucet. After using that (next keg change), I'll disassemble the faucet and keg coupler for a thorough cleaning. I have my spare keg queued up after that.