The Briefing Room
General Category => Editorial/Opinion/Blogs => Topic started by: mystery-ak on December 04, 2020, 11:42:11 pm
-
Top 5 Worst Christmas Song Lyrics Ever
Christmastime is filled with great music, but here are five lyrics that deserve coal in the songwriter’s stocking.
By Jason Childs
December 4, 2020
In spite of American advertising telling us otherwise for the better part of the last month, the Christmas season has finally started in earnest now that the Thanksgiving turkey has been eaten. I don’t think about Christmas until Black Friday, preferring to celebrate one holiday at a time. It always bothers me to see Christmas lights hanging before the turkey is even in the oven (or on the smoker, which you should absolutely do and never look back).
Consider it my corollary to the Crash Davis monologue (starts at 1:19, language warning) in Bull Durham including the line that presents should be opened on Christmas morning, not Christmas Eve. My family well knows not to start singing Christmas songs until after my tryptophan coma wears off.
But once the retail therapy begins on Black Friday, I am Mr. Christmas. I love Christmas music and driving around looking at all the Christmas displays in the neighborhood. I even love looking around my house and thinking that a Hallmark movie threw up in my living room.
But there are some things I hate, like nonsensical lyrics in some otherwise good Christmas songs. So here are the five worst lines in the Christmas music canon.
more
https://thefederalist.com/2020/12/04/top-5-worst-christmas-song-lyrics-ever/
-
1. “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year†(Andy Williams, 1964)
Recorded in 1963 by Andy Williams, this song is a classic and almost ubiquitous in advertising for whatever season Madison Avenue wants you to feel good about. As the song celebrates the many traditions for Christmas gatherings (“Parties for hosting/Marshmallows for roastingâ€) it includes this line, “There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long long ago.â€
Sure, there will be scary ghost stories if you watch “A Christmas Carol†or “Scrooged†or any of the other adaptations of Charles Dickens’s classic. But that is just about it. I, for one, have always been annoyed by this line. I prefer my Christmas upbeat and sans ghosts.
Is just me or am I, for one who have always been annoyed by assholes who write shit like this? What a Pu$$y.
-
Is just me or am I, for one who have always been annoyed by assholes who write shit like this? What a Pu$$y.
But I thought you would like this...although the song *Mary Did You Know* is one of my favs..
-
Baby it’s cold outside. ‘Cause there’s nothing that screams happy holidays like date rape.
Jk/ the lyrics are too cutesy for me.
-
Baby it’s cold outside. ‘Cause there’s nothing that screams happy holidays like date rape.
So the Woke say. The real story, as told to me by the guy who was there, he just did not to want to not have to drive her home in the snow. It was a safety thing.
-
Meh .... My ten (five was too hard to limit) favorite Christmas Carols:
O' Come All Ye Faithful
Silver Bells
The First Noel
Hallelujah
Angels We Have Heard on High
Silent Night
Joy to the World
Away In a Manger
We Need A Little Christmas
Oh Holy Night
-
How could they have missed Paul McCartney and Wings: "Wonderful Christmas Time"?
Now there's a song that wants to make an honest man kick a hole in a stained glass window.
-
How could they have missed Paul McCartney and Wings: "Wonderful Christmas Time"?
Now there's a song that wants to make an honest man kick a hole in a stained glass window.
Agreed. Though I do like "So This is Christmas"
I prefer Celine Dion's rendition:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tekN9NtGXOc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tekN9NtGXOc#)
-
One of the worst:
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
-
Is just me or am I, for one who have always been annoyed by assholes who write shit like this? What a Pu$$y.
It's vapid listicle talk (which I'm surprised The Federalist would publish). You know what they say about opinions being like backsides: everyone has one, and they usually stink.
Now here's my thought :whistle:
1. Yeah, the "scary ghost stories" line never really made much sense to me, either, but it's far from the worst.
2. OK, agree. That song is patronizing and a perfect example of how celebrity culture pretends to care but is so often out of touch that it's laughable.
3. The author just doesn't seem to like the premise, which somewhat contradicts the premise of the listicle.
4. No. I disagree. I think Autry's attempt to tie Santa in with the true meaning of the holiday is laudable.
5. The fact that you had to stretch into Lou Pearlman boy band music shows how much you had to stretch.
But I will add:
"The Christmas Shoes." The whole premise of the song rubs me wrong. The kid's mom is dying, and he's buying her a pair of shoes? Did they not teach him about material possessions not going with you to heaven? Plus, they never said what kind of shoes they were—I always joked that the punchline would be the cashier looking at the kid and saying, "Are you kidding me? Your dying mom wears Air Jordans???
"Last Christmas." As originally recorded by Wham!, "Last Christmas" is perhaps the most effeminately gay song ever performed—right up there with anything by Culture Club. (I used to say it was the gayest song ever, but that's in a world with the Village People, whose music is just as gay, but more the butch gay type.) Despite some good verses of a man betrayed by his holiday lover, the chorus is weak, which is exposed with the countless covers strip away the synthpop camp that made the original so bad, it's good.
"Santa Claus Is Back in Town." Oh, God. Lieber and Stoller, what were you thinking?! "Hang up your stockings and turn out the light, 'cause Santa Claus is comin' down your chimney tonight." St. Nick, you're a married man!
-
Baby it’s cold outside. ‘Cause there’s nothing that screams happy holidays like date rape.
Jk/ the lyrics are too cutesy for me.
The lady's mixed signals are what always bothered me about that song. «I'm going to be all feminist and try and tell the man no means no, even as I can't help agreeing.»
-
Maybe it's just the times in which I grew up...love the sound of the Beach Boys
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYzHM5_o6g8#)
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIRP4Xvu_bs#)
-
two versions
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us11-3d9-Hc#)
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifCWN5pJGIE&list=RDifCWN5pJGIE&start_radio=1&t=0#)
-
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5mdybeyLVc&list=RDifCWN5pJGIE&index=4#)
-
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5mdybeyLVc&list=RDifCWN5pJGIE&index=4#)
Absolutely beautiful compilation -- I love Archuletta's (sp?) voice.
-
Baby it’s cold outside. ‘Cause there’s nothing that screams happy holidays like date rape.
Jk/ the lyrics are too cutesy for me.
The song was written by Frank Loesser for his wife, and they first performed it at a party.
Now the wokerati have condemned the lyrics, and some millennials have actually changed them for a more "woke" audience.
You might like the new lyrics where when the women says that maybe she should leave, the guy says he's just fine with that. Mark Steyn wrote a devastating review of the new woke version.
-
One of the worst:
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
One of my favorites. Just played it tonight on my guitar for the wife. And yes, she is a grandma.
I laugh every time I hear it or play it.
-
I like the song and play it on my guitar, but the lyrics to the song "Christ Was Born On Christmas Day"
seems pretty obvious. What other day would he be born on? Is there a song called "You Were Born On Your Birthday"?
-
I very much dislike this Christmas song:
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmUW2pVAopc#)
:3:
-
I prefer the Christmas songs in my church hymnal, but will add two more contemporary ones.
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOvmLPNzMZo#)
Michael Card (composer) and Steve Green, "Immanuel"
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8_475FKJWQ#)
Amy Grant, "Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song)"
-
Obviously I am a tad warped but I always looked forward to the Dr. Demento Christmas shows and this was one of my favorites
We're getting massaged for Christams
Uh.....I have nothing to do with the graphics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0P_brKmycM&ab_channel=Ol%27Zircon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0P_brKmycM&ab_channel=Ol%27Zircon)
Otherwise I have a soft spot for the classics and cringe when I hear versions by what are now considered singers or are they Artiste's now?
-
Obviously I am a tad warped but I always looked forward to the Dr. Demento Christmas shows and this was one of my favorites
We're getting massaged for Christams
Uh.....I have nothing to do with the graphics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0P_brKmycM&ab_channel=Ol%27Zircon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0P_brKmycM&ab_channel=Ol%27Zircon)
Otherwise I have a soft spot for the classics and cringe when I hear versions by what are now considered singers or are they Artiste's now?
Yes. If the singer wasn't born 1940 or before, I don't want to hear their Christmas songs.
-
Is just me or am I, for one who have always been annoyed by assholes who write shit like this? What a Pu$$y.
It's so nice to see you filled with the Christmas spirit this year! :laugh:
-
One of the most ridiculous Christmas songs!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsvOrtcrA5c (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsvOrtcrA5c#)
-
One of the most ridiculous Christmas songs!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsvOrtcrA5c (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsvOrtcrA5c#)
Well it did get the zoo a boatload of money so it did what it was supposed to. I remember playing it for my grandson, as I did for my children, when he was two and regretted it as he wanted to hear it over and over (https://i.imgur.com/CVIjZv6.gif)
-
goat wrote:
"If the singer wasn't born 1940 or before, I don't want to hear their Christmas songs."
How 'bout Bill Monroe singing "Christmas Time's A-Comin'" ?
Take your pic from the original version (1951):
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ra6654tcrk#)
...or, many years later from a live show:
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXfBYXElPII#)
-
I always hated dumb....
The Gift of Magi is a perfect example...
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiB8VSytAnE#)
-
If you don't have Wham's "Last Christmas" at the top of the list, there's something wrong with you.
-
www.youtube.com/watch?v=syssbmp8oSw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syssbmp8oSw#)
-
That ranks right up there with "All I Want for Christmas is You".
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAkMkVFwAoo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAkMkVFwAoo#)
-
That ranks right up there with "All I Want for Christmas is You".
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAkMkVFwAoo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAkMkVFwAoo#)
That that's the song that makes me want to take out my flamethrower.
-
That that's the song that makes me want to take out my flamethrower.
"Last Christmas" should be launched on a one-way trip to outer space. Most effeminate (can't say a certain word) "Christmas" song ever.