The Briefing Room
General Category => National/Breaking News => Topic started by: mystery-ak on May 25, 2018, 01:26:53 pm
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Wolfdog, direwolf or dogman? Mysterious wolf-like creature shot in Montana
USA Today NetworkDavid Murray, Great Falls (Mont.) Tribune Published 5:59 p.m. ET May 24, 2018
Was it a wolf, some type of hybrid, or a creature that hasn't been seen in Montana since the Ice Age?
On May 16 a lone wolf-like animal was shot and killed on a ranch outside Denton, Mont. With long grayish fur, a large head and an extended snout, the animal shared many of the same characteristics as a wolf; but its ears were too large, it's legs and body too short, its fur uncharacteristic of that common to a wolf.
So what was it? At this point, no one is 100 percent sure.
(https://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/2a8367e43d5e247b2d92869ab22245a8df78f905/c=0-0-1536-2048&r=537&c=0-0-534-712/local/-/media/2018/05/24/GreatFalls/GreatFalls/636627587841708143-Wolf-like-creature.jpg)
more
https://www.freep.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/05/24/mysterious-wolf-creature-shot-montana/642775002/ (https://www.freep.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/05/24/mysterious-wolf-creature-shot-montana/642775002/)
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Wolfdog, direwolf or dogman?
Wolf-dog hybrid can be with almost any breed.
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Werewolf? Just wondering before I start making silver bullets.
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Werewolf? Just wondering before I start making silver bullets.
Werewolves and wolfmen are two different types of monsters, but I'll clump them together here because they're both more dog-like than normals. Werewolves are creatures that look like giant wolves, or like giant wolves that walk upright and have hands. Big, scary, claw-ful hands that can rip off your face or gently massage your ass, depending on if you are a man or a hot woman. Wolfmen, on the other hand, are just some poor schmucks who look like they have that unfortunate disease that causes hair to grow on a person's forehead and nose. Wolfmen are not too menacing. The worst thing about them is that looking at one makes you want to comb its cheeks.
Wolfpeople are usually fairly normal individuals during the day and on nights without full moons ("fairly normal" meaning they aren't covered in fur and they don't want to eat you). Why do full moons cause them to turn all hideous and unsexy?.... The tides? I don't know, but that probably means that they don't know either, which probably pisses them off even more than simply being forced to transform into a wolf-thing. So DO NOT TAUNT any wolfpeople over their predicament if you ever get cornered by one. They're probably mad enough as it is about not being able to get any real poon tang 3-4 nights each month, they don't need your normal-self pointing out their shortcomings.
How to kill them -- Both werewolves and wolfmen need the full moon to transform into their beastly forms. So, if possible, kill them during the day or on non-full moon nights when they are human. You may have some explaining to do to the authorities when you kill a human, but since werewolves and wolfmen transform back into their human shapes when they are killed anyway, you'll always have a body on your hands if you kill one. Yikes! Try to plan ahead and have a shallow grave already dug so that you can quickly dispose of the wolfy one's corpse. If you have to kill a wolf-thing while he/she is in their wolf-body, use silver. Silver bullets, silver stakes, silverware... Whatever you can get your hands on. Just don't be fooled into buying anything pewter though. My God was that an embarrassing night! I kept stabbing that hairy f'er over and over and over again for like 5 minutes with that butter knife, but he just kept coming. That's when I called up my grandma and asked if her antique silverware wasn't just cheap shit made in Taiwan (turns out it was Mexico). Thanks, grandma... Thanks a whooole lot.
Decapitation and explosions work on wolf-things as well. The only problem is that wolfmen and werewolves are usually pretty feral and have the reflexes of animals. Try lopping off the head of a dingo with rabies -- Damn near impossible. You might want to try playing "fetch" with a werewolf or a wolfman, but instead of a stick or a frisbee, use a live grenade or lit dynamite. Wild creatures are stupid. This same tactic almost worked on Jimmy Jammer (after he slid across the hood of my car while wearing "gangsta chains" and other assorted gay "bling"), and he's just barely smarter than my sister's dog. An excited cursed-wolf-creature would probably go for it hook, line, sinker and "Boom."
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When I awoke, the Dire Wolf,
Six hundred pounds of sin,
Was grinning at my window,
All I said was come on in,
But don't murder me,
I beg of you, please don't murder me,
Please, don't murder me.
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(https://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/2a8367e43d5e247b2d92869ab22245a8df78f905/c=0-0-1536-2048&r=537&c=0-0-534-712/local/-/media/2018/05/24/GreatFalls/GreatFalls/636627587841708143-Wolf-like-creature.jpg)
Weird. Looks like a cross between a wolf and a bear.
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(https://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/2a8367e43d5e247b2d92869ab22245a8df78f905/c=0-0-1536-2048&r=537&c=0-0-534-712/local/-/media/2018/05/24/GreatFalls/GreatFalls/636627587841708143-Wolf-like-creature.jpg)
Weird. Looks like a cross between a wolf and a bear.
I think I saw it Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fooks
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Looks like a black bear.
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I think I saw it Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fooks
yeah, but that hair doesn't look perfect.
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yeah, but that hair doesn't look perfect.
That is why he couldn't get into Trader Vics.
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(https://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/2a8367e43d5e247b2d92869ab22245a8df78f905/c=0-0-1536-2048&r=537&c=0-0-534-712/local/-/media/2018/05/24/GreatFalls/GreatFalls/636627587841708143-Wolf-like-creature.jpg)
Weird. Looks like a cross between a wolf and a bear.
Not a very good photo. Can't see the paws and the rest of the body.