The Briefing Room

General Category => Sports/Entertainment/MSM/Social Media => Topic started by: mystery-ak on November 30, 2018, 06:52:51 pm

Title: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: mystery-ak on November 30, 2018, 06:52:51 pm

The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
By Chris Queen November 28, 2018

Not many things can get people in the spirit of the holiday season like Christmas music. There’s music for everybody this time of year – from the sacred to the secular, and from the traditional to the ultra-modern.

I’ve always been a fan of Christmas music, and my collection is as eclectic as one could expect. In my opinion, it’s hard to screw up Christmas music. But bad Christmas music does exist, and when Christmas music is bad, it’s awful!

Here are the ten worst examples of Christmas music. I know that even bad Christmas music has its fans, so not everyone is going to agree with my choices. But I think most of you will understand, and some of you might even agree with me.

more
https://pjmedia.com/lifestyle/the-10-worst-christmas-songs-of-all-time/
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: dfwgator on November 30, 2018, 07:10:02 pm
Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" makes me want to grab the nearest flamethrower every time I hear it.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on November 30, 2018, 07:10:28 pm
Let's make this easy.  Here's a list of all of the Christmas songs that don't suck:

Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: andy58-in-nh on November 30, 2018, 07:46:44 pm
Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" makes me want to grab the nearest flamethrower every time I hear it.
Agreed, although I might venture to say that it is no more annoying than any other Mariah Carey song. 

My choice would be Wonderful Christmastime (Paul McCartney's blandly cheerful and lyrically insipid earwig which naturally ignores the reason for all the good tidings.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Restored on November 30, 2018, 08:10:06 pm
There are very few non-religious Christmas songs that are tolerable. "White Christmas" and "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" have that nostalgic WW2 ache that makes them worthy of a listen. "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" would be good if it wasn't overplayed so much. Greg Lake's "Father Christmas" is good just because it is so different. My favorite : The Kinks "Father Christmas".
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: dfwgator on November 30, 2018, 08:17:00 pm

My choice would be Wonderful Christmastime (Paul McCartney's blandly cheerful and lyrically insipid earwig which naturally ignores the reason for all the good tidings.

That being said, it's much better than John's "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)"
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: aligncare on November 30, 2018, 08:29:22 pm
Whose gonna moderate the thread? The Grinch?

Heck, I love them all, past and present. Christmas music is a perfect vehicle for exposing next generations to classic European and American jazz and big band music.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year if you love music.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: andy58-in-nh on November 30, 2018, 08:45:00 pm
That being said, it's much better than John's "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)"
At least Yoko wasn't shrieking this time....

Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Wingnut on November 30, 2018, 08:47:29 pm
It's not Christmas till I hear "Santa Clause And His Old Lady" by Cheech & Chong.

Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: massadvj on November 30, 2018, 08:49:26 pm
I agree that 7, 6, 3 and 1 suck.  The others aren't all that bad IMHO.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Jazzhead on November 30, 2018, 09:07:24 pm
My least favorite Christmas song is the Little Drummer Boy with those incessant, monotonous "parumpa-pum-pums"   

ARRGH.   22222frying pan 

My favorite?   Hark the Herald Angels Sing.   

Kudos to @aligncare for his excellent point that Christmas music is a great way for the young'uns  to get to hear what real music - jazz and big band - is all about.   
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: dfwgator on November 30, 2018, 09:09:56 pm
It's not Christmas till I hear "Santa Clause And His Old Lady" by Cheech & Chong.

(https://i.imgflip.com/1fs0j8.jpg)
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: dfwgator on November 30, 2018, 09:11:24 pm
My least favorite Christmas song is the Little Drummer Boy with those incessant, monotonous "parumpa-pum-pums"   

ARRGH.   22222frying pan 

My favorite?   Hark the Herald Angels Sing.   

Kudos to @aligncare for his excellent point that Christmas music is a great way for the young'uns  to get to hear what real music - jazz and big band - is all about.

The Brian Setzer Orchestra does the best Christmas albums.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Jazzhead on November 30, 2018, 09:12:44 pm
The Brian Setzer Orchestra does the best Christmas albums.

That's a good band. 
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Wingnut on November 30, 2018, 09:14:57 pm
 happy77
(https://i.imgflip.com/1fs0j8.jpg)

Yep.  That too!
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: mystery-ak on November 30, 2018, 09:24:38 pm
Little Drummer Boy...is my fav....sigh :crying:
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: skeeter on November 30, 2018, 09:31:23 pm
Its Cold Outside

Santa Baby

Walking 'Round in Womens Underwear - can't understand why everyone thinks this one is so hilarious.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: catfish1957 on November 30, 2018, 09:34:25 pm
I'll make my opinion easy.  Any non-secular Christmas song or those which avoid traditions are among the worst.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: musiclady on November 30, 2018, 09:44:39 pm
Agreed, although I might venture to say that it is no more annoying than any other Mariah Carey song. 

My choice would be Wonderful Christmastime (Paul McCartney's blandly cheerful and lyrically insipid earwig which naturally ignores the reason for all the good tidings.

Agree that Paul's effort to bring Christmas cheer bombed.  BAD song.

Don't agree with putting Mannheim Steamroller on the list, though.  It may be "dated" but so are many songs worth listening to.

I'm not a fan of Burl Ives, so "Holly Jolly Christmas" is near the top of my list.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: musiclady on November 30, 2018, 09:45:27 pm
Its Cold Outside

Santa Baby

Walking 'Round in Womens Underwear - can't understand why everyone thinks this one is so hilarious.

The best scene in the movie "Elf" is "Baby, It's Cold Outside."

That song is a classic.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Wingnut on November 30, 2018, 10:04:17 pm
Absolutely hate that David Seville Christmas song.   I want break things when he starts in with:

All right you chipmunks, ready to sing your song?
I'll say we are, yeah, let's sing it now
Okay, Simon? Okay
Okay, Theodore? Okay
Okay, Alvin? Alvin? Alvin? Okay
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: RoosGirl on November 30, 2018, 10:17:16 pm
Little Drummer Boy...is my fav....sigh :crying:

@mystery-ak

Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ_MGWio-vc#)
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: musiclady on November 30, 2018, 10:22:57 pm
Little Drummer Boy...is my fav....sigh :crying:

Can't beat this version.....

Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtYh4MgezLc&feature=youtu.be#)

Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: musiclady on November 30, 2018, 10:23:29 pm
@mystery-ak

Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ_MGWio-vc#)

Oh, phooey!  You beat me to it!
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Jazzhead on November 30, 2018, 10:28:07 pm
Little Drummer Boy...is my fav....sigh :crying:

Sorry 'bout that, @mystery-ak  wink777
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Wingnut on November 30, 2018, 10:30:47 pm
I think @mystery-ak likes the Bing Crosby David Bowie version the best.
Can't beat this version.....




@mystery-ak

Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: RoosGirl on November 30, 2018, 10:49:57 pm
I think @mystery-ak likes the Bing Crosby David Bowie version the best.
@mystery-ak
Hah, I actually like that version.

Peace on earth
Can it be
Years from now
Perhaps we'll see
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: jmyrlefuller on November 30, 2018, 11:16:05 pm
A. Paul McCartney is famous for silly little ditties. He even spoofed it himself with "Silly Love Songs." "Wonderful Christmastime" is a perfect silly little holiday ditty, right in line with Elton John's "Step into Christmas" from a few years before. Not every song has to be deep. Songs like those are perfect for radio: easy to listen to, easy to tune into the background.

B. Mannheim Steamroller? Not since Vince Guaraldi's trio had a group been able to make instrumental Christmas music memorable. I'd argue without them, we wouldn't have Trans-Siberian Orchestra a decade later. Just because it has a synthesizer doesn't mean it's dated; I think they strike a perfect balance between synthpop (a genre that I don't like, so the fact that I like the group should prove it's not overpowering) and the classic pops orchestras.

C. Ugh. Christmas Shoes... and though I've mercifully never heard Please Daddy, just by the title it sounds like I should continue avoiding it. Very rarely does combining children with maudlinity (is that a word) ever work, especially at Christmastime. About the only one I have ever heard work well is Haggard's "If We Make It Through December," which is sung from the father's perspective and is buoyed by a fitting, understated arrangement.

D. Streisand? Yeah. That record is just... she should have known better.

E. Little Drummer Boy: actually, the choral version is probably the most tolerable version of that piece, and I wouldn't call the vocals "shrill" by any means. Roseanne is shrill. Hillary Clinton is shrill. Gilbert Gottfried is shrill. Boy sopranos in a choir are not shrill.

F. Stuttering Blue Christmas / Grandma Got Run Over... - It's a joke, son. Chill.

I don't really have a strong opinion on Merry Christmas Baby, because it seems more a personal taste thing.

Now, a few of mine:

1. Any record in which the (usually female) singer confuses Santa Claus for Cupid. Particular offenders: "My Only Wish" by Britney Spears (which I have performed in a very ironic manner as a singer), "Santa Tell Me" by Ariana Grande, "Hey Santa" by Carnie and Wendy Wilson.

2. Do They Know It's Christmas? Yes, they do. Between imperialism and missionaries, Africa knows it's Christmas, and this record shows how far painfully out of touch most of the UK's music industry is in regard to what Africa is really like. When it comes to arrogance, "tonight thank God it's them (the members of Band Aid) instead of you."

3. Last Christmas - This is the most stereotypically effeminately gay record I've heard (as opposed to the Village People's "butch" gay). The original has some camp value—but if you want to talk about dated 80s arrangements, this song is far worse of an offender than anything the Steamroller puts out. The constant barrage of covers all seem to strip it of its redeeming qualities.

4. Santa Baby - Christmas celebrates the birth of a man who preached that the ideal man gives away all his wealth to the poor and follows him. "Santa Baby" sends the exact opposite message of a woman who demands extreme levels of material wealth.

5. Someone Is Missing at Christmas. I remember having the radio on Christmas Day with my family, and we all heard this song come on... and we laughed at how horrible it was. It's funny how trying too hard to be sincere can be more hilarious than actual comedy.

6. Any song that tries to appropriate Santa Claus into their ethnicity ("Santa Must Be Polish," "Dominick the Donkey," "Santa Claus is a Black Man"). Exception: "Santa Claus and His Old Lady," because Cheech and Chong are actually funny.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: EasyAce on November 30, 2018, 11:57:09 pm
Little Drummer Boy...is my fav....sigh :crying:
@mystery-ak
Cheer up, I like it too. By the Harry Simeone Chorale.

And as for "Baby, It's Cold Outside," I'll take this one every time . . .

Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtRCkLnSOII#)

And for me no Christmas season is complete without . . .

Duke Ellington & His Orchestra, "Overture" (from The Nutcracker)
Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MihqGJ4PkY#)

Duke Ellington & His Orchestra, "Toot, Toot, Tootie Toot (Dance of the Reed Pipes)" (from The Nutcracker)
Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wazevw-uIDA#)

Duke Ellington & His Orchestra, "Sugar Rum Cherry (Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy)" (from The Nutcracker)
Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONknTGUckKc#)
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: GtHawk on December 01, 2018, 12:07:59 am
It's not Christmas till I hear "Santa Clause And His Old Lady" by Cheech & Chong.
Oh, come on, everyone knows that nothing says Christmas like "We're Getting Massaged For Christmas  By: Corky Quakenbush" I still remember the first time I heard it on Dr. Demento!

 Lyrics here    http://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=11127 (http://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=11127)

What can I say.................I'm twisted, but it's still better then Lennon's 'So This Is Christmas' (http://i64.tinypic.com/30c0ie9.png)
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Machiavelli on December 01, 2018, 12:08:23 am
I've always thought that Mary, Did You Know? is pretty sappy.
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: EasyAce on December 01, 2018, 12:11:04 am
Buchanan & Goodman, "Santa and the Satellite"
Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on73BRTRPq8#)

Buchanan & Goodman, "Santa & the Touchables"
Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCoCfpy5lIU#)
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: EasyAce on December 01, 2018, 12:23:33 am
A personal favourite . . .

B.B. King, "Christmas in Heaven"

Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-XZpGcv35U#)
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: mystery-ak on December 01, 2018, 12:31:57 am
I think @mystery-ak likes the Bing Crosby David Bowie version the best.
@mystery-ak

Yes I do I watched that live...years ago...
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: mystery-ak on December 01, 2018, 12:34:50 am
I've always thought that Mary, Did You Know? is pretty sappy.

Another fav...

Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifCWN5pJGIE#)

I love this group....Pentatonix
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: mystery-ak on December 01, 2018, 12:41:43 am
Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADbJLo4x-tk#)
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: SZonian on December 01, 2018, 12:45:47 am
Not a Christmas song, but damn do the stations love playing it as if...

Imagine.

First line..."Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try."   :shrug:

Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: Sanguine on December 01, 2018, 01:56:32 am
I love this one:

Sorry... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXtCDMxnmg&ytbChannel=JMBLYA#)
Title: Re: The 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Post by: jmyrlefuller on December 01, 2018, 08:16:24 pm
Oh, come on, everyone knows that nothing says Christmas like "We're Getting Massaged For Christmas  By: Corky Quakenbush" I still remember the first time I heard it on Dr. Demento!

 Lyrics here    http://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=11127 (http://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=11127)
Oh my God… the shock value died down at the end but for a while there, that song… awesome, but cringe-worthy.