The Briefing Room
State Chapters => Arizona => Topic started by: PeteS in CA on April 17, 2021, 05:19:26 pm
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Maricopa woman finds tires slashed and a severed finger in her driveway
https://www.azfamily.com/news/maricopa-woman-finds-tires-slashed-and-a-severed-finger-in-her-driveway/article_a71cee4a-9e68-11eb-bb44-637b413961a5.html (https://www.azfamily.com/news/maricopa-woman-finds-tires-slashed-and-a-severed-finger-in-her-driveway/article_a71cee4a-9e68-11eb-bb44-637b413961a5.html)
MARICOPA, AZ (3TV/CBS 5) - A couple in Maricopa woke up to their tires slashed and a severed finger in the driveway on Thursday morning.
"I literally have been laughing all day because if I don't, I might cry," said Francesca Wikoff.
The truck belongs to the Wikoff family. Wikoff, a former volunteer firefighter and EMT, has the stomach for this sort of thing. "It's pretty comical. You would think that if you're gonna go to the hospital, especially if you just severed your finger off, that you would take said finger with you," said Wikoff.
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The Maricopa mother believes the finger belongs to her neighbor because they argued with him the night before and a trail of blood leads to his house. "I don't find joy in anybody hurting themselves. However, karma has a good way of working itself out," said Wikoff.
So the dude slashed their tires and then gave them the finger. I'm guessing that his hand isn't the only part of the guy that isn't all there.
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That is "Florida Man" worthy right there.
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That is "Florida Man" worthy right there.
It really is. :silly:
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There is such a thing as being too literal.
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The guy might have a future career as a HS Shop teacher. Everyone of my old ones were missing a digit or two. Usually from a tragic bandsaw accident! At least that is what they said. Sounds better than saying "Uh Mah Filet knife slipped"
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Well, they should be able to get a fingerprint, not to mention DNA... :silly:
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The guy might have a future career as a HS Shop teacher. Everyone of my old ones were missing a digit or two. Usually from a tragic bandsaw accident! At least that is what they said. Sounds better than saying "Uh Mah Filet knife slipped"
Also better than "I cut my finger off slashing tires."
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UPDATE: They caught the guy
https://www.pinalcentral.com/maricopa_monitor/news/owner-of-maricopa-severed-finger-identified-arrested/article_081767f3-35ef-5f3b-ad3d-5f20a0410e48.html
MARICOPA — A man who allegedly severed his finger while attempting to puncture the car tires of a neighbor after a dispute has been located and arrested.
Maricopa Police spokesman Hal Koozer confirmed that officers arrested Kevin Johnson and identified him as the owner of the finger found lying on the driveway by neighbor Francesca Wikoff the morning of April 15.
Johnson was allegedly angry over a dispute that occurred the previous night at a neighborly get-together, where he reportedly pushed and threatened Wikoff and her husband and was asked to leave.
Johnson was charged with criminal damage, assault, threatening and intimidating, and disorderly conduct stemming from both the slashed tires and the previous night’s disagreement.
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Cutting off your finger to spite your ... wait, whut?
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UPDATE: They caught the guy
https://www.pinalcentral.com/maricopa_monitor/news/owner-of-maricopa-severed-finger-identified-arrested/article_081767f3-35ef-5f3b-ad3d-5f20a0410e48.html
MARICOPA — A man who allegedly severed his finger while attempting to puncture the car tires of a neighbor after a dispute has been located and arrested.
Maricopa Police spokesman Hal Koozer confirmed that officers arrested Kevin Johnson and identified him as the owner of the finger found lying on the driveway by neighbor Francesca Wikoff the morning of April 15.
Johnson was allegedly angry over a dispute that occurred the previous night at a neighborly get-together, where he reportedly pushed and threatened Wikoff and her husband and was asked to leave.
Johnson was charged with criminal damage, assault, threatening and intimidating, and disorderly conduct stemming from both the slashed tires and the previous night’s disagreement.
Not a very creative prosecutor if they didn't find a charge for leaving human bits laying around, too.