The Briefing Room
General Category => National/Breaking News => Topic started by: TomSea on December 06, 2016, 03:47:22 pm
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Teen who was relentlessly bullied kills herself in front of her family
By Carma Hassan, CNN
Updated 2:46 PM ET, Thu December 1, 2016
(CNN)Brandy Vela's bedroom is covered in Post-it notes. "You will always own a piece of my heart," says one. "You will never be forgotten," says another.
Blue hearts, for her "beautiful blue eyes," are taped up and down her high school hallway.
All of them a heartbreaking reminder of a life cut short.
Vela killed herself this week, putting a gun to her chest while her family begged her not to. She was 18 years old -- and she had been relentlessly bullied.
Bullied for her weight
Brandy's sister, Jackie, says the teen had always been bullied for her weight, but the cyberbullying ramped up in April.
"People would make up fake Facebook accounts and they would message her and she wouldn't respond and they would still come at her," Jackie said.
Read More At: http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/01/health/teen-suicide-cyberbullying-trnd/?sr=amplify_health_baseline_desktop_120116_San%20Francisco%20Bay%20Area%20and%20California%20News%20-%20SFGate
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There was a girl not too far off from here, who killed herself because she was called the "sl-t" word and things like that.
It's important to bring these things up because this should not be happening and maybe this will discourage others. They do these things for a number of reasons.
She looked like a fine young lady. It tears one up to hear of these cases.
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I have to admit I don't understand this phenomenon at all. How and why do they pick a target? And, why does the target get sucked into unwittingly participating?
Very sad story.
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These bullies families should be held liable for this crap. This makes me so angry. I hate bullies with a passion.
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Good for Melania Trump for focusing on this problem. Terrible!
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I suspect there is more to this story and not just bullying....to shoot yourself right in front of your family leads me to believe she had some mental illness.
60% of the young girls I see today are overweight..and this girl to me was overweight some but not like the porkers I come across in real life.
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Good for Melania Trump for focusing on this problem. Terrible!
Way to politicize a tragedy. Like Trump's friend Obama says, why let a good crisis go to waste.
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As a kid, I was bullied -- for my looks and my weight and generally because I didn't fit in. I just ignored the bullies. The more a person whines and cries about being bullied, the more he or she is bullied.
Now I'm an old bag who didn't have internet, smartphones and what not growing up, so maybe it was easier for me to ignore the bullies. One thing I would do if my child was bullied is to ditch the smartphone and forbid the use of social media. Makes it a bit harder to be bullied if the means are not available. The kids really don't need these things. They can call or visit friends in person and if they need to call in an emergency, a basic phone will do.
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Used to be a time when the cowards had to bully one in person.
Social media and the internet now allow the cowards anonymity and it makes it harder for those bullied to find a way to cope or deal with it.
There's also the PC policies of not allowing or encouraging the victims or friends to righteously confront and kick the a$$ of the bullies.
The long term psychological impacts of persistent bullying can be quite devastating to many.
So what recourse do they feel they have? Practically none except for the most extreme...sad.
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Quote from: alicewonders on Today at 11:42:35 AM
Good for Melania Trump for focusing on this problem. Terrible!
Way to politicize a tragedy. Like Trump's friend Obama says, why let a good crisis go to waste.
This is why you have no credibility with me. You have no ability to credit Trump - or his family - if they DO happen to do something right. You slime them for every single thing they do - that shows a deep-seated resentment that borders on obsessiveness. Melania has said for some time that she will focus on cyber bullying. This tragic story goes to show the need for someone to address the issue.
I wasn't "politicizing" the issue at all. I have seen Melania being trashed here because she is concerned about it - all while her husband is "bullying" poor politicians! Quite a difference between barbs between adult politicians and impressionable children!
The obsession to slime any and everything Trump is absolutely compulsive with you and some others here. Yes, it borders on delusion.
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I wasn't "politicizing" the issue at all. I have seen Melania being trashed here because she is concerned about it - all while her husband is "bullying" poor politicians! Quite a difference between barbs between adult politicians and impressionable children!
Every First Lady has some pet issue, and if that turns out to be it for Melania, good for her.
I thought it was pretty ironic that some celebrities started cyber-bullying Melania Trump when she came out against cyber-bullying. Add that AMA skit that mocked her for her accent, and it's just really odd that people seem to think it's okay to mock a politician's wife who is herself non-political.
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This is why you have no credibility with me. You have no ability to credit Trump - or his family - if they DO happen to do something right. You slime them for every single thing they do - that shows a deep-seated resentment that borders on obsessiveness. Melania has said for some time that she will focus on cyber bullying. This tragic story goes to show the need for someone to address the issue.
I wasn't "politicizing" the issue at all. I have seen Melania being trashed here because she is concerned about it - all while her husband is "bullying" poor politicians! Quite a difference between barbs between adult politicians and impressionable children!
The obsession to slime any and everything Trump is absolutely compulsive with you and some others here. Yes, it borders on delusion.
@alicewonders
:bigsilly:
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@alicewonders
:bigsilly:
Wait, how did Trump get inserted into this topic?
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Wait, how did Trump get inserted into this topic?
Because the story is about a girl being bullied online to the point that she killed herself.
Melania Trump has said that she will be focusing on this issue - it IS pertinent to the article.
Ironic, considering all the times Trump gets inserted into topics around here that have absolutely nothing to do with him, or his family.
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This is why you have no credibility with me. You have no ability to credit Trump - or his family - if they DO happen to do something right.
Trump is one of the biggest bullies there is. He went on Twitter to slime a 13 year old girl once.
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Trump is one of the biggest bullies there is. He went on Twitter to slime a 13 year old girl once.
Melania Trump is not Donald.
There has long been a tradition of leaving politician's wives/families out of political attacks unless they themselves take an active political role. Melania Trump has not done that. So if she chooses to advocate that bullying of kids in school be stopped, what is gained by mocking/attacking that?
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Mrs. Reagan had the "just say no" campaign, Mrs. Obama had the school lunch agenda. There's nothing wrong with first ladies getting involved in some issue.
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http://nypost.com/2016/12/06/friend-says-teen-who-committed-suicide-was-bullied-for-being-gay/
Topic related, Australian "gay" teen killed himself because of bullying.
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Melania Trump is not Donald.
There has long been a tradition of leaving politician's wives/families out of political attacks unless they themselves take an active political role. Melania Trump has not done that. So if she chooses to advocate that bullying of kids in school be stopped, what is gained by mocking/attacking that?
because it's a joke, this whole freaking family is a big joke. You can't talk about ways to stop bullying while you are the biggest bully on the block and expect to be taken seriously
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You can't talk about ways to stop bullying while you are the biggest bully on the block and expect to be taken seriously
She is not the "biggest bully on the block". She doesn't seem to be a bully at all.
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Kids today don't have the face-to-face social skills that we had to develop when we were young. The internet is practically some of these kid's entire life. Add to that, that children are being raised to be fragile "snowflakes" these days - it's no wonder that some children that might not have a strong family network are pushed over the edge. I see where some of these cyber bully's PARENTS get in on it too!
The people that are "politicizing" this tragic story are the ones that are letting their resentment against Donald Trump cloud their reasoning.
Quote from: Oceander on Today at 01:27:02 PM
@alicewonders
:bigsilly:
Laughing to hide the pain?
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Way to politicize a tragedy. Like Trump's friend Obama says, why let a good crisis go to waste.
I don't understand how she's politicizing anything. Melania identified bullying as a concern before this girl killed herself. Seems to me Mrs. Trump is doing what every first lady does: identifies an area in need of improvement (literacy, drug abuse, child nutrition, whatever) and tries to work on solving the problem.
Edit: I wrote this before I saw your comment, TomSea, but I agree.
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She is not the "biggest bully on the block". She doesn't seem to be a bully at all.
Whatever. She should just shut up and go back to her own country instead of lecturing people about bullying while remaining silent on her husbands bullying
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Melania Trump is not Donald.
There has long been a tradition of leaving politician's wives/families out of political attacks unless they themselves take an active political role. Melania Trump has not done that. So if she chooses to advocate that bullying of kids in school be stopped, what is gained by mocking/attacking that?
@Maj. Bill Martin
I'm picturing how much credibility Nancy Reagan would have had if Ronnie had been a druggie.
But it's perfectly fine for Melania to ignore her hubby's behavior while speaking out against bullying. It's a worthy cause, but she should start at home.
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Whatever. She should just shut up and go back to her own country instead of lecturing people about bullying while remaining silent on her husbands bullying
Well, she's been a U.S. Citizen since 2006, so this is her own country. But you're just a troll at this point regardless of the thread on which you're posting, so I'll take a pass from now on.
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Well, she's been a U.S. Citizen since 2006, so this is her own country. But you're just a troll at this point regardless of the thread on which you're posting, so I'll take a pass from now on.
No one elected the porn star to anything
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No one elected the porn star to anything
No one elected the Mooch to anything, either, but she sure made a mess of school food service programs. At least Melania is unlikely to impose any mandates on anyone.
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But it's perfectly fine for Melania to ignore her hubby's behavior while speaking out against bullying. It's a worthy cause, but she should start at home.
We don't know that she hasn't. In any case, while I didn't like Trump's campaign tactics either, I think there's a difference between having very sharp political elbows, and bullying of minors in school.
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So sad. Prayers for the family. I fat lot of good it does for everybody to care about now that it's too late.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MH07rieK8w
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Besides she did not kill herself because of "bullying" on Facebook, she killed herself because of emotional and mental issues; Everyone has probably been bullied at some point and very few ever kill themselves.
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Wait, how did Trump get inserted into this topic?
Aliceinchains has a fetish for all things trump.
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Aliceinchains has a fetish for all things trump.
Make school bullying great again!
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Because the story is about a girl being bullied online to the point that she killed herself.
Melania Trump has said that she will be focusing on this issue - it IS pertinent to the article.
Ironic, considering all the times Trump gets inserted into topics around here that have absolutely nothing to do with him, or his family.
So, you brought Trump into the conversation and then complain because other posters (predictably) respond? Either don't bring him/her into it, or just accept the comments that will inevitably be made.
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Whatever. She should just shut up and go back to her own country instead of lecturing people about bullying while remaining silent on her husbands bullying
I understand that she is now an American.
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So, you brought Trump into the conversation and then complain because other posters (predictably) respond? Either don't bring him/her into it, or just accept the comments that will inevitably be made.
Dear, I'm not complaining that other posters (yes - VERY predictably) responded. I'm not complaining at all - just stating my position and answering people that said I was politicizing a tragedy. Then, I also answered you when you asked who inserted Trump into the thread.
I stand by my opinion that cyber bullying is a valid issue for the First Lady to take on. It pertains to this story - I'm sorry (not really) if my giving any credit whatsoever to someone whose last name is Trump hurts some people here so bad that it burns.
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She should just shut up and go back to her own country...
Ah, alt-right.
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I honestly don't understand why so many bullied kids are committing suicide. When I was a child, bullying was as common as it is now, but suicide because of it was unheard of.
Is it because so many parents are raising their kids to be less strong, less able to cope with adversity? I wonder.
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Wait, how did Trump get inserted into this topic?
Trump was her cyber bully #DramaticMusic
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If Mrs. Trump wants to do something about bullying, perhaps she should start with her husband.
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I understand that she is now an American.
I was trying to sound like a Trumpist, lol
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I was trying to sound like a Trumpist, lol
****slapping
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I stand by my opinion that cyber bullying is a valid issue for the First Lady to take on.
Melania has no expertise on the topic, besides one as an enabler of bullying. She might want to ask Trump why he felt he had to belittle a 13-year old girl who simply made an innocent joke on a TV talent show in a comedy routine.
His response as to why he did it might be educational to someone who is credible on the topic.
Melania is not a child psychologist, she is an enabler of bullies. Maybe she can promote porn as a career option for all the little girls.
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I honestly don't understand why so many bullied kids are committing suicide. When I was a child, bullying was as common as it is now, but suicide because of it was unheard of.
Is it because so many parents are raising their kids to be less strong, less able to cope with adversity? I wonder.
I'm guessing there's an inverse relationship to the number of Sunday School lessons they had to sit through.
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I honestly don't understand why so many bullied kids are committing suicide. When I was a child, bullying was as common as it is now, but suicide because of it was unheard of.
Is it because so many parents are raising their kids to be less strong, less able to cope with adversity? I wonder.
Maybe, but I also think it's just a lot more pervasive than it used to be because of technology. Normally, bullying occurred primarily in schools, and even then, physical proximity to the bully was required. If you could avoid being in the same place as the bully, you were fine.
But all of those kids are online -- friends, family, etc., which gives bullies a completely different avenue of attack that they never used to really have. I suppose the analogy would have been nasty phone calls, but those could have been hung up on, intercepted by parents, etc.. Being online essentially means those kids will get bombarded no matter where they are.
I know one "solution" would be for a kid simply to avoid being online at all. The problem is that all their friends are, their family is, etc., so avoiding being online really means deliberately isolating yourself even from friends.
It hasn't happened to my kids but I could see how pervasive and inescapable it would seem to them if it was.
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I know one "solution" would be for a kid simply to avoid being online at all.
So easy to block people online. You never have to see their crap again (like me and half the members of TBR)
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I honestly don't understand why so many bullied kids are committing suicide. When I was a child, bullying was as common as it is now, but suicide because of it was unheard of.
Is it because so many parents are raising their kids to be less strong, less able to cope with adversity? I wonder.
I think that it's more that, with the internet, these sorts of events can now be covered by the national press.
In the past, events like this would have just made local news (if at all).
(and the post here, too: http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,236774.msg1159958.html#msg1159958)
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Dear, I'm not complaining that other posters (yes - VERY predictably) responded. I'm not complaining at all - just stating my position and answering people that said I was politicizing a tragedy. Then, I also answered you when you asked who inserted Trump into the thread.
I stand by my opinion that cyber bullying is a valid issue for the First Lady to take on. It pertains to this story - I'm sorry (not really) if my giving any credit whatsoever to someone whose last name is Trump hurts some people here so bad that it burns.
@alicewonders
Seeing as she's going to be living in NYC, I wonder how much of anything she's going to "take on".
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I'm guessing there's an inverse relationship to the number of Sunday School lessons they had to sit through.
:thumbsup2:
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I'm guessing there's an inverse relationship to the number of Sunday School lessons they had to sit through.
@Idaho_Cowboy
I think you might have something there.
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Maybe, but I also think it's just a lot more pervasive than it used to be because of technology. Normally, bullying occurred primarily in schools, and even then, physical proximity to the bully was required. If you could avoid being in the same place as the bully, you were fine.
But all of those kids are online -- friends, family, etc., which gives bullies a completely different avenue of attack that they never used to really have. I suppose the analogy would have been nasty phone calls, but those could have been hung up on, intercepted by parents, etc.. Being online essentially means those kids will get bombarded no matter where they are.
I know one "solution" would be for a kid simply to avoid being online at all. The problem is that all their friends are, their family is, etc., so avoiding being online really means deliberately isolating yourself even from friends.
It hasn't happened to my kids but I could see how pervasive and inescapable it would seem to them if it was.
@Maj. Bill Martin
That's a good point, and one that never occurred to me. It's sort of like a pack of hyenas coming after the child and never letting up.
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It seems some adolescents, young persons are easily affected by social media. Fairly amazing. It wouldn't mean that much to say, most of us.
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It seems some adolescents, young persons are easily affected by social media. Fairly amazing. It wouldn't mean that much to say, most of us.
Probably because most of us were brought up without it, and so can do without it. Also, adults just aren't as likely to say that kind of stuff to each other -- much too easy to be sued if you do.
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Back in the days when I was a professional writer I wrote a piece that was controversial. I was also on Facebook, for networking reasons.
Well, the comments I got on there were downright cruel and horrible. I just took myself off.
I'm not on any social media anymore and if I do go back to writing, it will be under a pseudonym
I can tell you it really did hurt my self esteem and made me feel like fecal matter. I can only imagine how something like this would hurt a teenager or someone a little more vunerable.
I know it sent me to a therapist for a few times after I cut the cord because I just couldn't wrap my head around how people I didn't know or slightly knew professionally could be so horrible, just because they disagreed with my opinion.
I feel horrible for this teenager and her family. I wish I could have helped her.
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Back in the days when I was a professional writer I wrote a piece that was controversial. I was also on Facebook, for networking reasons.
Well, the comments I got on there were downright cruel and horrible. I just took myself off.
I'm not on any social media anymore and if I do go back to writing, it will be under a pseudonym
I can tell you it really did hurt my self esteem and made me feel like fecal matter. I can only imagine how something like this would hurt a teenager or someone a little more vunerable.
I know it sent me to a therapist for a few times after I cut the cord because I just couldn't wrap my head around how people I didn't know or slightly knew professionally could be so horrible, just because they disagreed with my opinion.
I feel horrible for this teenager and her family. I wish I could have helped her.
Social media is full of kooks. I've been threatened on Facebook more than once. Others made fun of a photo I posted of my best friend and me. I really think most, if not all, of these people are losers in life. Their lives are a mess, probably through their own fault, but rather than make positive changes in their lives, they attack someone else. I picture most of them as 40 years old, living in their mother's basement, probably using her computer, with no job and nothing else to do but go on Facebook and act tough.
Just as I did in my youth, I ignored these losers. And while I used my Facebook account regularly during the primaries, the election is over, so the account is now dormant If I want to keep in touch with family and friends, I will call, text or email them.
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This is brought to you by a society of disconnected people fiddling with their smartphones, catching Pokémon.
Natural order is being obfuscated by "zero tolerance" policies that these kids have to deal with, where the checks and balances of THE REAL WORLD, puts bullies in their place.
When I was a senior in HS, my brother was a sophomore. We had gym at the same time and one day some punk junior was hassling my little brother in the locker room after class. Introduce me to the equation and that punk got slammed up against the locker by his throat. Problem solved.
These days, I would have been expelled.
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This is brought to you by a society of disconnected people fiddling with their smartphones, catching Pokémon.
Natural order is being obfuscated by "zero tolerance" policies that these kids have to deal with, where the checks and balances of THE REAL WORLD, put's bullies in their place.
When I was a senior in HS, my brother was a sophomore. We had gym at the same time and one day some punk junior was hassling my little brother in the locker room after class. Introduce me to the equation and that punk got slammed up against the locker by his throat. Problem solved.
These days, I would have been expelled.
You would have been arrested and charged!
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You would have been arrested and charged!
Turns out the dude was the step brother of a girl that became one of my brother's very best and trusted female friends... the sorta girl that you take your girlfriend to for a thumbs up or down seal of approval.
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Good for Melania Trump for focusing on this problem. Terrible!
Melania never killed another person in a car wreck like another first lady, I've got to add that in, some people shamelessly go after Trump for some reason.
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I have to admit I don't understand this phenomenon at all. How and why do they pick a target? And, why does the target get sucked into unwittingly participating?
Very sad story.
Social media gives kids the ability to slander another kid or otherwise make fun of them via cell phone. It is the lunch line writ large, and particularly vicious because it is done without anyone being able to see it like the old days when a teacher or parent or other adult could step in. Keeping in mind how lost some kids are in the social media and bereft of meat world contacts, it isn't hard to see how they could get lost in the emotions of being reviled by people who not only don't have the courage to do so face to face, but who also don't suffer the traditional repercussions of doing so, whether that be a lunch tray in the face, a fistfight in the hallway, or some means of the victim recovering 'face' and self-respect.
It is vile, and it is chewing up kids who are the target of the 'cool kids'.
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This is brought to you by a society of disconnected people fiddling with their smartphones, catching Pokémon.
Natural order is being obfuscated by "zero tolerance" policies that these kids have to deal with, where the checks and balances of THE REAL WORLD, puts bullies in their place.
When I was a senior in HS, my brother was a sophomore. We had gym at the same time and one day some punk junior was hassling my little brother in the locker room after class. Introduce me to the equation and that punk got slammed up against the locker by his throat. Problem solved.
These days, I would have been expelled.
You are precisely right. Part of adolescence is the process of finding a place in the social order of your peer group, whether that place is based on talent, intelligence, physical or athletic prowess, sense of humor, what have you. Part of that process includes the occasional scuffle. Unfortunately, zero tolerance keeps that angst bottled up until the top blows off, often with serious consequences. There is no substitute for backhanding the SOB who said something ugly about your mother, even if you know you will get your butt kicked for it. At least you retain your self-respect. Demanding you do nothing to address such insults and even more egregious matters is demeaning, and all the "self-esteem" in the world won't undo the degradation.
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You are precisely right. Part of adolescence is the process of finding a place in the social order of your peer group, whether that place is based on talent, intelligence, physical or athletic prowess, sense of humor, what have you. Part of that process includes the occasional scuffle. Unfortunately, zero tolerance keeps that angst bottled up until the top blows off, often with serious consequences. There is no substitute for backhanding the SOB who said something ugly about your mother, even if you know you will get your butt kicked for it. At least you retain your self-respect. Demanding you do nothing to address such insults and even more egregious matters is demeaning, and all the "self-esteem" in the world won't undo the degradation.
Punching back was an option back in the day when a bully had to be in your face to bully you. But now, when a ton of it is cyber-bullying, that's not always an option. If this girl was getting relentlessly mocked/harassed by people she didn't even know, some of whom were boys...punching them in the face isn't even possible.
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Punching back was an option back in the day when a bully had to be in your face to bully you. But now, when a ton of it is cyber-bullying, that's not always an option. If this girl was getting relentlessly mocked/harassed by people she didn't even know, some of whom were boys...punching them in the face isn't even possible.
Agreed--see post 60. That is part of the problem, that people who have 'cool' on line personas can bully kids who are really far 'cooler', and have the social media herd follow them in doing so. Without the means to face their accusers or strike back, kids can't cope well with the result.
So much of a kid's development at that stage is related to feedback from people who know them, only that has changed to include, and then be overwhelmed by people who may never have said a word to them face to face.
This last election demonstrated the effectiveness of creating boogeymen via social media, and that is only one example of perpetrating and perpetuating exaggerations and outright falsehoods to the extent they become accepted by a significant number of people as "truth". From "Hands up Don't shoot", to "Lyin' Ted" to the nonsense spewed about "protecting water" at Standing Rock, this stuff can go from local to worldwide without a grain of truth, and the effects on young men and ladies trying to find their niche in the social order of things can be devastating.
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If I found out that my daughter was being bullied, I would either have her cut off FB and Twitter entirely, or sign up under a fake name and only let close friends and family have access.
If FB and Twitter are all that important to her that she would rather put up with harassment than not be publicly available - well, there's the problem, not the FB and Twitter.