Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 8, 2024 Edition  (Read 888 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline John Semmens

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 638
  • Gender: Male
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 8, 2024 Edition
« on: December 07, 2024, 06:35:36 am »
Court Cancels Election

Citing "evidence" provided by the Romanian Intelligence Service alleging that Russian participation in a social media campaign may have unduly influenced voters, Romania's Constitutional Court annulled the first round results in which Calin Georgescu (Independent) finished first (22.9%) and Elena Lasconi (Save Romania Union) second (19.17%). This effectively cancels the top-two runoff leaving it up to Parliament and the Prime Minister to reschedule a new round one election.

Lasconi opposed the court's action, saying "the Romanian state trampled over democracy" and predicted that "God, the Romanian people, the truth and the law will prevail."

Alliance for the Union of Romanians (AUR) party leader George Simion called the court decision a "coup d'état in full swing."

Incumbent Prime Minister Marcel Ciolacu (Social Democratic Party), third-place finisher (19.15%) in the first round of voting for president, praised the ruling, saying "the decision to cancel the presidential elections is the only correct solution. Every runoff in the last 30 years has included a representative from the SDP." He went on to call "Georgescu a previously politically unknown candidate with dangerous views. He opposes the war in Ukraine, is against extending NATO further east, endorses Christian values, and wants national sovereignty."

US Secretary of State Tony Blinken expressed admiration for "the Romanian Court's decision to save the country's democracy from the potential election of a Donald Trump clone. We were denied this same kind of rescue when Sen. McConnell blocked the appointment of Merrick Garland to the US Supreme Court in 2016 and when Sen. Manchin (D) and Sen. Sinema (I) rejected President Biden's proposal to appoint more Supreme Court justices in 2018. Now, Romania will have another chance to elect a responsible government while we are doomed to suffer under the dictatorship of Donald Trump for the next four years."

DOGE "Unconstitutional & Illegal"

Representative Zoe Lofgren (D-Calif) appeared on CNN's "Newsroom" to declare that "the proposed Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), is both unconstitutional and illegal. Congress is the body that has control of the 'purse strings.' We decide how much to spend and on what. Musk and Ramaswamy won't even be part of the government, per se. They can't tell us what to do or not do. The word 'efficiency' appears nowhere in the Constitution. It is not part of our job and no one can force us to be efficient."

Vivek Ramaswamy, co-director of DOGE pointed out that "neither does the word waste appear in the Constitution, but Congress has wasted trillions of the taxpayers money on useless and corrupt expenditures. Our job at DOGE will be to shine a light on the plentiful examples of this waste in the hope that sensible members of that body will do their duty to reduce and eliminate these examples or explain to their constituents why this waste must be continued."

"As a first example, only 6% of federal workers show up for work at the extensive offices provided for them," Ramaswamy observed. "About one-third of federal workers are on permanent 'remote status.' First question: if so much of the work can be done at home, why do we need to spend so much operating and maintaining unneeded space? Second question: how is the remote work being measured? Are employees diligently on task and efficiently using their time? Or are they wasting significant amounts of time on non-work diversions? DOGE will analyze this and present options for improving efficiency and reducing waste. Congress will have the option of adopting these options or explaining to their constituents why the waste must continue."

Lofgren rejected "Ramaswamy's naive conception of how government functions. Government Bureaucracy has been accreting for generations. Once employees become vested in their positions it is virtually impossible to dislodge them for incompetence or shirking. It would take an act of Congress to overcome this. Since most of these federal workers vote Democrat, what is our incentive to take such action? It looks like Mr. Ramaswamy is checkmated before DOGE even begins its analyses."

Meanwhile, Biden's outgoing commissioner of the Social Security Administration, Martin J. O'Malley, just agreed to a new deal that allows the federal workers assigned to work at home during the Covid-19 era to stay home until December 31, 2029. "Keeping our employees healthy is more important than keeping them busy," he said

In related Constitution news, the township council of Edison in New Jersey's ban on using "props," including the Constitution and the US flag, by residents when they speak at the council meetings spurred outrage. Resident Joel Bassoff attempted to speak saying "I'm holding up an American flag to represent the constitutional values." Council President Nishith Patel angrily banged his gavel and ordered police to remove Bassoff from the room. Patel explained that "a US flag is hanging on a pole right behind me at these meetings. There is no need for anyone to bring his own flag except as a means for defying my authority to run the meetings as I deem fit. And for the record, Mr. Bassoff was not arrested. He was merely ejected."

Trump Already Getting Results

Though he won't officially take office until January 20, 2025, President-Elect Donald Trump is already getting things done. His threat to impose 25% tariffs on Mexico and Canada in retaliation for their thus far puny efforts to prevent the flow of illegal immigrants and drugs into the United States has inspired Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum to order the seizure 2400 lbs. of fentanyl before gangs could smuggle it into the US.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau flew to Mar-a-Lago to beg for mercy, saying "we are unable to impede the entry of persons and drugs from our country to the United States. Our border is long and there is no wall to deter illegal crossing." Trump slyly offered him the option of applying to Congress to become a state, saying "as a US state you wouldn't have to pay tariffs and our incoming border czar Tom Homan could help deport the criminals, jihadis, and anti-semites that are currently troubling your country."

Trudeau declined the offer to become part of the US, citing "the need for Canada to retain its historic status as a refuge for those seeking to escape American tyranny. We provided a safe haven for escaping slaves in the 1800s and for draft resisters during the Vietnam War. Currently, we are engaged in ensuring that LGBTQ persons are given the respect and admiration to which they are entitled. Just this past week we had to fine Emo $15,000--$10,000 against the township itself and $5,000 against Mayor Harold McQuaker personally--for failing to fly the rainbow pride flag during the June Pride Month celebration. To emphasize our message we are extending Pride Month to cover the entire summer starting in 2025. None of these vital achievements would've been possible if we were just another US state."

Trump didn't have to make any threats to inspire Iran to take a more conciliatory stance. Trump's election alone prompted Iran to suspended its planned retaliatory attack on Israel for killing Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar. Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran Ali Khamenei explained "with the more agreeable President Biden being replaced by the more disagreeable Mr. Trump we are now ready to negotiate a ceasefire with Israel and consider talks about moderating our rush to produce nuclear weapons."

Confidence in FBI Plunges

On "CNN News Central," reporter Harry Enten and anchor Kate Bolduan discussed polling data showing a large drop in the public's confidence in the FBI. Enten said "in 2014 59% of Americans, 62% of Republicans, and 54% of Democrats thought the FBI did a good or excellent job. In the 2024 survey the numbers were 41% of Americans, 26% of Republicans, and 67% of Democrats. "That's a big difference," Bolduan said. "What do you think accounts for this?"

"Well, it seems that the FBI's actions over recent years have included suppressing incriminating data on Hunter Biden's laptop prior to the 2020 election, suspicious behavior during the January 6, 2021 commotion at the Capitol, and intimidating social media to censor dissenting medical opinions during the pandemic," Enten suggested. "Most Republicans resented these actions, seeing them as 'police state' tactics. Most Democrats approved of these actions, seeing them as efforts to promote unity and save democracy."

"Since Trump won the election it appears likely that he will try to reform the FBI in ways that will please Republicans," Enten predicted. "Kash Patel, his nominee for FBI Director, has harshly criticized the FBI forays into censorship, armed raids on those accused of nonviolent offenses like protesting outside abortion clinics or asking uncomfortable questions at school board meetings, unwarranted surveillance of citizens not even suspected of committing a crime, and interfering in elections. Patel says he wants to send the FBI after the most wanted criminals in America instead of letting them hang out in DC to meddle in politics."

Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn) complained that "Patel only cares about protecting Republicans. Patel's only qualification is because he agrees with Donald Trump that the FBI should only investigate and arrest criminals, rather than fight the threat MAGA extremists pose to our democracy."

Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill) said "I'm one of the 67% of Democrats who thinks the current FBI Director Christopher Wray has been doing a great job. The FBI's 2020 suppression of Hunter's laptop ensured Trump's defeat in the election. The FBI's actions ensured the arrest and punishment of hundreds of insurrectionists. The FBI's aid in censoring errant medical opinions saved millions of lives. This performance has earned Wray the right to finish the rest of his term, which runs until 2027. I want him in there to continue this important work."

Biden Defends Pardon Lie

This week, President Joe Biden pardoned his son Hunter "for any and all crimes he may have committed, including those not yet detected, between January 1 of 2014 and December 1 of 2024. None of these crimes were committed out of malice. As the son of a vice-president and president Hunter was under a lot of pressure to produce income to support the Biden family. He turned to drugs and prostitution to try to relieve his stress. He painted for relaxation only to discover that others would pay high sums for his work. He evaded taxes to increase the net return to the family. His motives were noble. He does not deserved to be hounded by those seeking revenge on his father."

"I know that earlier this year I said I wouldn't pardon him or any other member of my family," Biden admitted. "But that was when I was still a candidate. If folks had known that I would pardon Hunter I might have lost the election. After I was forced out of the election by my good friend House Speaker Nancy Pelosi I kept quiet about the pardon so as not to hurt the chances of my loyal Vice-President Kamala Harris winning the election. Now that the election is over and my time in office is near its end I make no apologies for using the absolute power granted to me as President of the United States to pardon anyone I please for whatever reason I please."

Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) announced her support for the pardon, saying "I support the President. I have always supported the President. Never have I not supported the President."

Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Calif) condemned Biden's pardon of Hunter, saying "the very fact that the President was on record assuring America that he wouldn't do it undermines the credibility of every Democrat who may aspire to the presidency. Say if I were to run in 2028, the worth of every promise I would make to voters would be put under a pall by this precedent."

Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) said "I admit that in 2018 I supported legislation that would force the president to turn over documents to Congress in the event he pardoned a member of his family, because I didn't want such pardons to be used to obstruct justice. Of course I was thinking of Trump at that time. The legislation didn't pass and Trump didn't pardon any family members. While I doubt that President Biden is trying to obstruct justice, his setting a precedent increases the risk that Trump will pardon a family member or maybe himself during his new term. So, in this respect, I wish President Biden had kept his promise not to pardon Hunter."

As if to validate Rep. Schiff's fears, President-Elect Donald Trump wants to know "if President Biden is ready to pardon the January 6 protesters--many of whom have been held in appalling conditions and received incredibly harsh sentences. Democrats have called them insurrectionists, but none of them brought guns into the Capitol. Most did nothing more than enter the building. Many were waved in by Capitol Police Officers. The few who fought with police have already spent more time behind bars than most of the George Floyd rioters who looted businesses and set fire to buildings in 2020 have. Will President Biden show them the mercy he granted to his own son? Or will that be left for me to handle once I take office?"

Apprised of the fact that Hunter's pardon immunity eliminates the need for his Fifth Amendment protection against self incrimination and makes him liable to be compelled to testify against others who may have participated in his crimes, President Biden is being advised to issue similar unconditional pardons to his brother James, other family members, Anthony Fauci, Liz Cheney, Adam Schiff, Christopher Wray, Mark Milley, Nancy Pelosi, Adam Kinzinger, Jack Smith, and others for the crimes they have committed. White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said "we have about six weeks to compile our list of who needs a pardon. It's better to grant too many than too few pardons. We are also considering whether to include potential future crimes to give a more robust immunity from future witch hunts that a vengeful Trump may launch against Democrats who will continue to resist his tyranny."