Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 1, 2024 Edition  (Read 325 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 1, 2024 Edition
« on: November 30, 2024, 10:05:14 am »
NY Dem Calls for Secession

In the wake of Trump's victory in the 2024 presidential election, New York State Sen. Liz Krueger (D-Manhattan) is now proposing that "our state and the abutting woke states of Vermont, Massachusetts, and Connecticut should secede and become part of Canada. None of these states' voters wanted Trump to become our president. Why should we have to suffer through a second term of misgovernment at his hands?"

She brushed aside Trump's pledge "to help make New York safe, strong, beautiful, affordable and vibrant again," calling it "out-of-step with our progressive values. We are progressive Democrats who would fit in pretty well with the political philosophy of most of the Canadian elected officials. I've already gotten provisional agreement from several members of the Canadian Parliament who like the idea of boosting their country's population by 75% and gaining control of the port of New York City."

A potential impediment to the Senator's aspirations is Prime Minister Trudeau's announcement of "a two year pause in all immigration into Canada and preserve the national character of our population. We like to think of ourselves as a welcoming people, but the quality of the kinds of people who have been coming here is far beneath our standards. Senator Krueger's proposal is out of the question. First, the last attempted secession by several US states led to a bloody war with 750,000 fatalities. Second, the 20 million New Yorkers that would be added to our population can't help but destroy our manners and lower our nation's average IQ."

Dem Assails DOGE

Rep. Jonathan Jackson (D-IL) went on MSNBC's "Way Too Early" show to say "Trump's emphasis on making government more efficient is a heartless attack on people who depend on government generosity to live. America is a rich country. The surplus of wealth produced by those who are capable should be redistributed to those who have needs. This was the crux of former President Lyndon Johnson's idea of the 'Great Society.' Three generations of Americans have adapted to this process and cannot survive on their own. This includes both the folks receiving the handouts and the government employees who administer the transfer payments."

"Elon Musk's notion that his success in building cars, spaceships, and turning Twitter into a profitable company can be replicated in the public sector is just not realistic," Jackson contends. "If you recall, Musk fired 75% of the employees who worked for Twitter under the previous owners. Firing government employees is not so easy. That's why new employees are hired to do the work that current government employees can't or won't do. This has been the norm for decades. I can't imagine how Musk and Ramaswamy are going to undo this in one four-year sprint as Trump's hatchet men."

"Anyone who understands economics realizes that most humans prefer leisure to toil," Musk pointed out. "The idea that the link between performance and reward can be severed without consequence was the fatal error of LBJ's 'Great Society's' leap into a welfare state. Economic collapse and bankruptcy is the inevitable outcome. The key to the success of our efforts to improve government efficiency will be to reconnect the link between performance and reward. We will start by doing a work management analysis of the functions employees must be held accountable for accomplishing and the time and effort required to do the job. Employees who don't measure up will be discharged. Physical assets rendered redundant will be sold off."

In related news, Sen. Joni Ernst (R-IA) proposes a $2 trillion list of what to cut that included:

Selling vacant government buildings.

Auditing the IRS and firing the hundreds of agents who owe back taxes.

Eliminating boondoggles like the Electric Vehicle (EV) charging stations and COVID relief fraud.

Cutting subsidies to grossly inefficient rail passenger service.

Nonsense expenditures like $4.6 million of lobster tail and crab and $2.1 million for games and toys."

Ending "welfare checks" for politicians who run for president.

Canceling $1.6 trillion of unobligated spending.

Stop paying bonuses to contractors despite their poor work.

Don't fund "silly science" like shrimp running on treadmills.

End $213.3 million unemployment benefits for millionaires.

Discontinue $1.5 billion spent every year on public relations and propaganda.

Reduce Department of Defense (DoD) spending by $125 billion until it passes an audit.

Removing ineligible recipients from various federal benefit programs.


 

Kerry Declares Climate Emergency

Biden administration's "climate envoy," John Kerry says "it's time we acknowledged that the world is facing a climate emergency. In less than 50 years the CO2 parts per million is projected to reach 500. That means for every million molecules of air 500 of them are CO2. This will be the highest concentration since humans evolved. We must make sacrifices to avert this disaster."

One of the sacrifices Kerry suggests "is for Africans to skip past the mistakes the West has made by using fossil fuels to produce energy. The Industrial Revolution took place during the so-called 'little ice age' of the 18th and 19th centuries. At that time world leaders weren't concerned about the possible warming effects that burning coal or gasoline might have on the climate. It is essential that undeveloped areas use environmentally friendly sources like wind and solar."

However, wind and solar energy are much less reliable than coal, gasoline, or natural gas. The wind doesn't always blow. Sunlight is often blocked by clouds. On top of this, they are three times as expensive per kilowatt hour. So, not only will energy be intermittent, it may be unaffordable for many. Admitting this phenomenon, Kerry recommended that "the United States should bear the cost of electrifying Africa. We are a $23 trillion economy. Most Americans have more money than they need. They waste a lot of their money on junk. They own two cars when they could get by with one or none and use public transit. They overeat and damage their health. They can easily afford to pay the higher taxes required to fund Africa's clean energy economy."

German scientist Dr. Michael Schnell said "there is no emergency. The heat retention of atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2) causes a maximum temperature increase of 0.24°C when the concentration doubles from our current 400 ppm to 800 ppm. At the current rate of increase of 2 parts per million (ppm) it will take 200 years for the ppm to reach 800 and produce a quarter of 1°C increase in temperature. There is no good reason to endure the suffering that the climate alarmists want to inflict on humanity."

COVID Vaccines Ineffective, Dangerous

In yet another O'Keefe Media Group undercover video, Raja Cholan, Chief of the Health Data Standards for the National Institutes of Health (NIH), admitted that "the vaccines don't prevent you from getting COVID. I haven't gotten the latest COVID shots, and I'm not going to. For people that are 30 or under, it really increases your risk for heart conditions. The data does show that. I'm close enough to 30 to where I don't want to have a heart attack."

Cholan also predicted that "incoming Secretary of Health & Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. won't be able to accomplish much. The bond between federal regulators and pharmaceutical companies is too strong. When regulators hold shares in the companies they are supposed to monitor they are reluctant to take any action that could cause the value of those shares to decline. In the rush to get the COVID vaccines to market crucial tests were bypassed. The Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) showed that the COVID shots did more damage than any other vaccine ever approved for mass distribution."

In related news, President-elect Donald Trump nominated Dr. Jay Bhattacharya, a Stanford physician, economist, and co-author of Great Barrington Declaration--a letter opposing the pandemic lockdowns--to be the director of the NIH. Bhattacharya was secretly blacklisted by Twitter at the behest of the Biden Administration because he argued that Covid lockdowns would harm children. "If we had been allowed to have an open discussion the schools would not have closed in the fall of 2020 and the lockdowns would have been lifted much earlier because the data and evidence behind them was so bad," he said.

Dems Try to Impede Deportations

In Maryland, Frederick Mayor Michael O'Connor says he "will use money from the City's Legal Advocacy Fund to pay the expenses for illegal immigrants who want to fight deportation during President-elect Donald Trump's administration. The money will be allocated to organizations already providing similar legal services, helping them expand the number of people they're able to support." In response to criticisms of his proposal, the mayor's office said "this fund will provide resources to community partners for any Frederick residents who may be harmed by policies from the new administration, ensuring they have the legal support they need to stand strong and remain in this community they have chosen to call home."

In Colorado, Denver Mayor Mike Johnston expressed his "willingness to defy federal law. I'm not afraid of going to jail if that's a result of my efforts to protect illegal immigrants from President-elect Donald Trump's promised deportation efforts. I will use the Denver Police Department (DPD) and 50,000 volunteer human shields to block ICE's attempt to take these people into custody." Trump's border czar Tom Homan said "I'm willing to put him in jail. Because there is a statute, it's Title 8, United States Code, 1324 (iii), and what it says is it's a felony if you knowingly harbor and conceal an illegal alien from immigration authorities. It is also a felony to impede a federal law enforcement officer."

In related news, President Biden called Trump's threat to impose higher tariffs on Mexico if they don't do more to reduce the frequency of illegal attempts to cross the border "counterproductive. We need Mexicans to harvest our crops, mow our lawns, and clean our houses. Keeping them out will make our inflation worse." Border czar Tom Homan questioned Biden's math, saying "his open border policies have allowed tens of thousands of criminals into the US. They are killing, raping, and stealing. Sanctuary cities are spending tens of millions to house and feed huge numbers of illegal immigrants in hotels. The fentanyl smuggled across the border has killed over 200,000 people. I'm not saying that immigrants can't be productive members of society. That's what legal immigration is for. If they follow the rules I see no problem letting hard workers enter the country."

Chicago's Woke Method of Clearing Murder Cases

Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson (D) is boasting that "under my direction, the police department's homicide clearance rate of 54% is the highest level in many years." Only 23% of these "solved" cases resulted in punishment for the killers. In 31% of the cases the police believe they have identified the killers, but prosecutors decline to prosecute them. The number of cases where city attorneys declined to prosecute has increased from a low of 23 in 2016 to more than a hundred per year during Cook County State's Attorney Kim Foxx's two terms in office.

The Mayor explained that "declining to prosecute offenders isn't all bad. Putting suspects on trial costs time and money that might be better spent elsewhere. Meanwhile, most killers lead dangerous lives while they're on the loose. There is a good chance that they themselves might be murdered and save us the costs of trying and imprisoning them. Finally, since there is no statute of limitations for unprosecuted murder cases they can always be taken up at a later date."

Fake Jan 6 Narrative Crumbles

The narrative that the Democrats constructed in order to charge Trump and his supporters with insurrection for what happened at the US Capitol on January 6, 2021 is crumbling under the weight of evidence contradicting it. The story was that after losing the 2020 election Trump tried to overthrow the government by instigating a mob to invade the Capitol and prevent the certification of the electoral victory of Joe Biden.

The evidence now shows that prior to Jan 6 Trump authorized the use of 10,000 National Guard troops to defend the Capitol. Last week, Department of Defense (DoD) Inspector General (IG) Robert Storch testified to Congress that the DoD intentionally delayed the deployment of the National Guard to the Capitol on January 6, 2021. Videotape shows then House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) admitting that she and Democratic leadership were responsible for the security failure on Jan. 6. The full text of Trump's speech on Jan 6 showed that he urged his followers to peacefully protest. That's what the vast majority of them did even after the Capitol Police invited them into the building. None of them brought firearms with them--an odd behavior for so-called insurrectionists.

It also turns out that self-proclaimed hero--Capitol Police officer Michael Byrd--shot the unarmed 110 lb. Ashli Babbitt to death, said it was self-defense, and claimed he was too traumatized to return to work. He has since been promoted to Captain despite having a history of disciplinary issues, including weapons infractions, a suspension for losing his weapon, and failing an FBI background check.

In the aftermath of January 6 hundreds of peaceful protesters were over charged, bullied out of demanding a trial and given unduly harsh jail sentences. This was in contrast to the much more lenient treatment of the George Floyd rioters who vandalized businesses, burned down buildings, and murdered people in the summer of 2020.

Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif), primary author of the fake Jan 6 narrative, defended her distortion of the truth, saying "it was necessary to try to save our democracy. We had to batter Trump and his minions as hard as we could to convince the people to vote against them. We failed, but it doesn't mean our motives were ignoble. If it hadn't been for Musk buying Twitter and turning it into a free speech platform our version of events would've been the only version to make it into the history books."