December 31, 2023
My predictions for 2024: A satirical look
By Eric Utter
[The following is satire -ed.]
January 1 — Americans joyously ring in the New Year believing that it can’t possibly be as bad as the previous three years. It can’t be, right? Righhhht?
January 7 — Taylor Swift, upset at another Kansas City Chiefs loss, throws her jersey — and drink — towards the sidelines in disgust.
January 15 — In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Ibram X. Kendi says: There’s no debate about it, the content of white people’s character is irrelevant, only their skin color matters. They can’t help it, they are all despicably racist because of their white skin.
January 17 — A.M.-- President Biden issues a proclamation/executive order renaming President’s Day. The newly recognized official holiday will henceforth be called “Obama’s Day.” Biden calls a lid immediately thereafter.
January 18 — A.M.-- President Biden issues a proclamation/executive order renaming Washington’s Birthday “Founding Colonizer’s Birthday” and asks folks not to celebrate it. Biden calls a lid immediately thereafter.
January 19 — President Biden asks aides when he will be issuing the proclamations renaming Presidents Day and Washington’s Birthday.
January 25 — Record-breaking cold grips much of the U.S. Democrats claim this is more evidence of global warming and state that we only have “eight to ten years to save the planet.” Several sponsor a bill to immediately ban the production and use of all furnaces, electric and gas-operated, since heating dwellings in winter creates a massive carbon footprint.
February 2 — President Biden ventures out of the White House, sees his shadow … and, startled, scampers back inside. Pundits say this likely means we are in for many more months of bad policy decisions.
February 7 — President Biden forgets he’s giving the State of the Union address, asks everyone assembled what they’re “doing here,” then says, “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to bed” and walks out of the House chamber. Even Democratic congressmen are temporarily stunned … and then rise to give him a standing ovation.
more
https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2023/12/my_predictions_for_2024_a_satirical_look.html
