Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 13, 2023 Edition  (Read 907 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 13, 2023 Edition
« on: August 12, 2023, 04:36:59 pm »
FDA Weasels

Three doctors are suing the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for impeding their ability to treat their patients with ivermectin during the pandemic. The FDA argues that its actions ridiculing ivermectin did not impede its use by these doctors.

Ashley Cheung Honold, a Department of Justice lawyer representing the FDA, said "the FDA never said doctors couldn't prescribe ivermectin to treat COVID. It just advised against it." She maintained that the FDA's tweet saying "'You are not a horse. You are not a cow. Seriously, y'all. Stop it.' Was a whimsical way of conveying important information. It was not a command."

Circuit Judge Jennifer Walker Elrod observed that "in the context of the English language, using the words 'stop it' most certainly is a command. And how do you explain pressure on physicians to not prescribe and pharmacists not to fill prescriptions for ivermectin? These sound like efforts to impede doctors legal authority to use an FDA approved drug for an off-label use. And how about the doctors who lost hospital privileges or had their licenses to practice medicine threatened?"

Honold pointed out that "the FDA didn't directly refuse anyone permission to prescribe or dispense ivermectin to any specific individual patient. Neither did the FDA terminate any hospital privileges or revoke any licenses. Someone else did all those things. The fact is that the courts have no authority to hold the FDA accountable for anything it does. It has full immunity even when the information it provides is inaccurate or false."

In related news, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky) says that "the Government Accountability Office (GAO) admission that the covid gain-of-function research carried out in the Wuhan lab was funded by the US National Institutes of Health (NIH) proves that Dr. Fauci lied under oath when he denied that we did not fund this research. It is the clearest case of perjury in testimony before Congress that I have ever seen." Fauci dismissed "Sen. Paul's ranting" saying "he fails to account for the fact that the essence of good government is knowing when a lie better serves the public good. A public admission that we had funded China's development of a more potent bio-weapon then would've harmed our efforts to induce Americans to accept being injected with the covid vaccine later."

Ukraine Needs More Money

This week, President Biden has asked Congress to approve a $24 billion aid package for Ukraine. Assistant to the Secretary of Defense John Kirby said "the needs are great. We're hoping that this modest request, which covers only the first quarter of the 2024 fiscal year, will be a springboard for a more comprehensive and durable funding commitment later on."

Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) said "there is strong bipartisan support for demonstrating America's resolve when it comes to defending democracy around the world. The latest revelation that portions of our earlier aid packages have been siphoned off to fund the purchase of luxury vehicles and vacation villas in Spain must not be allowed to undermine this resolve."

Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) concurred, saying that "President Zelensky's quick action to fire those responsible for misusing American aid over the past year and a half refutes the naysayers who contend that continuing our participation in this war is not in America's interests. We can't let the $75 billion we've already invested in this war go to waste."

In related news, the U.S. Embassy in Belarus issued a rebuke against President Lukashenko, contending that "his 2020 election was fraudulent and his repression of those protesting the fraud is reprehensible. Many have been held in prison for months without a trial. His political opponents are being prosecuted for made-up crimes." Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre rejected comparisons to how President Biden is handling those who have protested and disputed the legitimacy of his 2020 election, saying that "Lukashenko is a dictator. President Biden is a widely recognized champion and defender of democracy. While the actions done by each of them may seem similar, the motivations are distinctly different."

FBI's War on Catholics

In July, FBI Director Christopher Wray testified that an internal memo targeting Catholics as domestic terrorists was "an outlier from a single field office and does not represent the Agency's thinking or policy." This week, Congressional Republicans obtained an unredacted memo indicating that several field offices were advised to take measures to thwart the threat of white supremacy among Catholics who attend Latin Mass. These measures were to include further infiltration into Catholic communities using various kinds of informants.

Caught in his lie, Wray blamed these Republicans "for compromising the confidentiality of a vital security operation. Many people are unaware that Latin Mass-attending Catholics oppose abortion, gay marriage, transgenderism, and Critical Race Theory. They are out of the mainstream on these issues. Thinking that their god holds these new values to be immoral could embolden them to wage holy war against the legitimate authorities that are tasked with enforcing these new values. By exposing our covert operations against this threat, the Republicans move us closer to overt warfare with these deranged fanatics."

Former President Trump called Wray's perspective "the antithesis of the values that make America great. Our Constitution defends religious freedom. It does not authorize the government to demonize those who resist its attempt to impose a bizarre new orthodoxy nor to covertly or overtly to repress those who resist this brainwashing. Wray is the deranged fanatic. I think most Americans would agree with me on that assessment."

In related news, enforcement of a new Illinois law declaring that the pro-life speech engaged in by pregnancy help ministries is now an outlawed "deceptive business practice" was blocked by US District Court Judge Iain Johnston for "being both stupid and unconstitutional. Trying to use the law to punish speech with which it disagrees is the kind of content and viewpoint discrimination that is prohibited by the First Amendment."

Gov. J.B. Pritzker (D) disputed Johnston's ruling, saying "freedom speech doesn't protect lying. Telling a young woman seeking an abortion that it is morally wrong or that there are better alternatives are lies. It is the government's obligation to protect these women from such lies. We will appeal his decision."

No Proof Joe Biden Is a Crook

Despite a cascade of testimony and documents indicating that the Bidens are engaging in an influencing peddling scheme, Democrat partisans continue to assert that there is no proof that President Biden has personally benefited from any of the money gleaned from this scheme.

MSNBC host Andrea Mitchell claims that "the testimony of Hunter Biden's former business associate Devon Archer to the House Committee exonerates President Biden. Granted, Joe Biden did participate in more than 20 phone calls and several in-person meetings with Hunter's business partners, but Archer only remembers talking about the weather and other trivial matters. Perhaps these business partners were just big fans wanting some time with the 'Big Guy.' On the other hand, the President's recent interview on the Weather Channel shows he has an intense interest in weather and is a sought after expert on the topic."

Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md) pointed out that "none of the bank records of Joe Biden's accounts show the word 'bribe' in the memo line area of any checks deposited. Couldn't this money just be gifts from admirers? Many celebrities charge fees for autographs or photos with their fans. Why can't Joe Biden do the same?"

"I don't see any evidence of any crime," CNN's Jake Tapper said. "People in government getting rich is old news. It may be sleazy, but is it really illegal? If the Republicans are going to launch an effort to try to reform Washington so people who are powerful can't supplement their income while in office, how can we attract the 'best-and-brightest' with the woefully inadequate salaries we pay government officials? A whole system that has served this country well for generations will be destabilized."

We have evidence that the Bidens received millions from foreigners in Ukraine, China, and Russia. As Vice-President, Joe Biden forced the firing of a Ukraine prosecutor who was investigating the company that had Hunter on its board of directors. As president, Joe Biden has impeded domestic lithium mining--a mineral crucial to electric vehicles. This leaves us more dependent on Chinese lithium. He also has impeded domestic uranium mining--an ore crucial for national defense. This leaves us more dependent on Russian uranium. It is not unreasonable to suspect that bribery may have had a hand in prompting Joe Biden to take these actions.

Adventures in Bidenomics

Energy

The Biden Administration's claim that forcing consumers to shift from gas stoves to electric stoves would lower their monthly cost of cooking is technically true. A Department of Energy analysis showed that using electricity to cook instead of gas would save an estimated nine cents per month in operating costs. However, it would cost a consumer more than $300 to purchase the lowest priced GE stove on the market. This stove would have to last 300 years before the monthly nine cent savings would equal the cost to buy that stove.

Department of Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm pointed out that "the ban on gas stoves doesn't go into effect until 2027. Looking on the bright side, this gives the manufacturers of electric stoves four years to improve the efficiency of their models. I'm confident that by the time the new regs kick in the monthly savings from going all-electric could be doubled."

"Even if we consider a 'worst case scenario' and the new electric stoves consumers will be forced to purchase don't last 150 years, we will still be decreasing the negative impact that burning natural gas has on global climate change because electric stoves emit no carbon dioxide," she observed. "As for the carbon dioxide emissions resulting from the coal-fired plants currently used to produce the electricity for the stoves, well, it seems likely that advances in wind and solar power generation over the next 150 years will render coal-fueled electricity obsolete. Even if that doesn't happen, I don't think it is unreasonable to expect people to put up with a few discomforts if it means saving the planet from certain destruction."

Inflation

Rep. Judy Chu (D-Calif) blamed "voter myopia" for the President's poor polling numbers. "Last year inflation was 8%. Last month it was 3%. This means that prices are lower than they were a year ago. Voters are being unfair to the President by not giving him the credit he's due for improving their purchasing power."

Senate Majority Leader Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) blamed "the middle class for focusing on how things are right now. Inflation is what economists call a 'lagging indicator.' Rather than base the President's approval rating on this, people should be focusing on how good the future will be once the full impact of the spending enacted by the Democratic Party has had time to trickle down to the middle class."

Economy

Long-time Democrat political strategist James Carville admitted to being "frustrated by the average person's inability to appreciate the amazing prosperity Hunter and the whole Biden family have achieved under Bidenomics. When a crackhead with no discernible marketable skills can become a multimillionaire it's a sign of a robust business environment. Anyone who hasn't done as well for himself has only himself to blame. I count myself in that group, but I don't blame President Biden for my own lack of enterprise."

Debt

Sen. Chris Coons (D-Del) said "the crushing burden of government debt requires that a compromise be reached between the two Parties. Democrats are not going to cut the spending that is crucial for the success of Bidenomics. Most Republicans are opposed to raising taxes. The only feasible way forward is for enough Republicans to join the Democrats and forge a bipartisan majority that will pass the tax increases or wealth confiscation legislation that can preserve the spending that is essential to promote the general welfare promised in the first sentence of the US Constitution."

Online mystery-ak

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Re: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 13, 2023 Edition
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2023, 10:29:30 pm »
Quote
No Proof Joe Biden Is a Crook

 :silly: so funny...thanks John
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Offline John Semmens

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Re: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 13, 2023 Edition
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2023, 07:55:48 am »
mystery-ak,

you're welcome

John