Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 6, 2023 Edition  (Read 1051 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 6, 2023 Edition
« on: August 05, 2023, 09:24:52 am »
Psaki Assails GOP Totalitarian Tactics

Biden's former White House press secretary Jen Psaki warned voters against "falling for Republican efforts to distract attention away from their Party's conspiracy to overturn the 2020 election by making false allegations that President Biden accepted bribes in exchange for favors. There is no proof that the actions that he took to get the Ukrainian prosecutor who was investigating his son fired was in any way linked to the $5 million dollars he was paid by Burisma. As then-Vice-President Biden said at the time--the firing of that prosecutor had the full approval of President Obama."

"Next, they will be demanding that the President be impeached, removed from office, and punished," Psaki predicted. "This is just like Putin putting his political opponent Alexey Navalny in jail for opposing his policies. The only way we can save our democracy is to prevent Trump from ever regaining power. Convicting and imprisoning him for the crimes he has committed is our best opportunity for averting this tragedy. Even if this isn't enough to prevent voters from electing him, his ability to govern from behind bars can still be thwarted. As a prisoner, his visitors and phone calls can be severely limited. All his communications can be monitored and either suppressed or used against him as evidence of his continued efforts to destroy our democracy."

The hope of getting Trump behind bars prior to any conviction for his alleged Jan 6, 2021 conspiracy to overturn the 2020 election was boosted when the judge presiding over his arraignment, US Magistrate Moxila Upadhyaya, warned that he, like other Jan 6 defendants, "could be held if necessary to interdict further efforts to overthrow our government by falsely claiming to be a victim of election fraud or to be innocent of inciting his followers to storm the Capitol. These false claims would also constitute attempted witness tampering."

Christie Seeks Votes

Anxious to prevent fellow GOP presidential aspirant former Vice-President Mike Pence from overtaking him in the polls, former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie journeyed to Ukraine to meet with President Zelensky and pledge his support for the war against Russia.

"I wanted this valuable ally of the United States to know that he will have a friend in the White House should I be fortunate enough to be elected president next year," Christie said. "I know that Pence has the inside track having already been vice-president, but I wanted Zelensky to know that I have the stamina and pugnacity that will be needed to cow Congress into funding the additional aid he needs to win the war."

A sign that both Pence and Christie might be off track is a recent CNN poll showing that 55% of Americans oppose additional funding for the Ukraine/Russia war. Among Republican voters, 71% are opposed to more aid for the war. Trump, the Republican currently leading in the race for the GOP presidential nomination, suggested that "the vast majority of voters know this war is neither in their nor their country's best interest. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I lead these two sad candidates by double-digits as they squabble over who will finish last in the primaries."

US Debt Downgrade Called "Unwarranted"

Citing an increased risk of default, Fitch Ratings downgraded US government debt. Richard Francis, a senior director at Fitch, said "the rising quantity of borrowed money combined with a collapse of revenues raises the odds that lenders will not be paid back in full for the funds they have lent to the US government. It is our obligation to apprise future potential lenders of this fact."

US Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen called the downgrade "flawed and entirely unwarranted. It's not as if we are unable to secure the funds that will be needed to pay off these loans. There is more than enough wealth inside our borders to cover all of these debts. It's merely a question of how to get our hands on this money. The power of Congress to tax is unlimited. Wealth that we have allowed to remain in private hands can seized if Congress has the will to do so. If Congress balks at authorizing this transfer, the Federal Reserve can simply create more money."

Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV), a potential "No Labels" Party candidate for president, was unimpressed by Yellen's arguments, saying "having the Federal Reserve create more money is itself a partial default on the government's debt, as lenders will be repaid in dollars worth less than those they lent. Seizing personal wealth is likely to worsen the problem as the holders of that wealth will resist, move, or hide their assets. This would increase political turmoil and deter potential lenders from reinvesting their proceeds from maturing bonds in the new bonds needed to cover government deficits. The best approach for restoring the credit of the United States would be to reduce spending so it doesn't exceed sustainable revenues."

Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre rebuffed Manchin's and Francis' views, asserting that "the President rejects the notion that anyone is competent to judge his powers and policies. No one can be permitted to interfere with his efforts to save the world. Those who attempt to do so will rue the day they got in his way."

Dems Argue for State Censorship of Speech

Though the US Supreme Court has ruled that the Biden Administration's "partnership" with social media to censor freedom of speech is unconstitutional, New York Attorney General Letitia James, along with the attorneys general of 20 other states, is asking the US Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit to overrule the Supreme Court and allow the Biden administration to continue to instruct social media companies on impermissible content.

"The risk to health and welfare from allowing erroneous ideas to poison the minds of the people is of sufficient magnitude to outweigh a misguided belief that a so-called individual right to freedom should prevent the government from suppressing undesirable speech," James argued. "It is our contention that the 'general welfare' clause in the first sentence of the Constitution supersedes the subsequent addendum restricting the government's authority to abridge freedom of speech. As such, state governments retain the right to act as a liaison between the federal government and social media in a cooperative effort to root out doctrinal error."

"In particular need of censorship are words that mock those holding the authority to rule," James warned. "Whether the target is President Biden or individual state governors, mockery erodes the respect that fosters the obedience crucial to ensuring an effective governance. Allowing mockery to stand unpunished invites rebellion and chaos. Stifling disloyal remarks in the bud is the ounce of prevention that preserves the peace."

Aryan Godlike Men

One of the more bizarre aspects of the Biden family's influence peddling scheme is Hunter's boast that "the troupe of very handsome Aryan godlike men I bring with me everywhere I go has immensely impressed my Chinese business associates." This statement appeared on Hunter's laptop and was confirmed by his former business partner Devon Archer in his testimony at the House Oversight Committee hearing this week.

One of the more incriminating bits of Archer's testimony revealed that "in 2014 Burisma executive Mykola Zlochevsky told Hunter that his company needed help from the United States government to deal with the pressure from prosecutor Viktor Shokin. Hunter got his dad on the phone. Zlochevsky paid Joe and Hunter $5 million each. In 2016 Joe visited Ukraine President Zelensky and told him to fire Shokin or he wouldn't get the billion dollar aid package President Obama had promised him. Shokin was fired later that day. In 2018, Joe Biden appeared at a Council on Foreign Relations forum where he bragged about coercing this firing."

Contrary to Joe Biden's repeated claims to have never talked about business with his son, Archer recalled "there were at least 20 occasions in which Hunter's dad participated in business discussions, mostly on speaker phone, but a couple of time face-to-face. His name and position as vice-president of the United States were the 'value added' he brought to the business. None of Hunter's business schemes could have succeeded without this vital 'Biden Brand' connection."

After hearing this testimony, Rep. Madeleine Dean (D-PA) insisted that "there is no evidence of any wrongdoing by President Biden. All the alleged crimes were committed before he ever became the president. Besides, what's wrong with earning a little extra income to supplement his woefully inadequate salary as vice-president? You know he's not the only one to have grown rich while holding public office. The suggestion that he should be impeached for doing what we all do is ridiculous."

In contrast, Legal scholar Jonathan Turley predicted that "this is shaping up to be one of the greatest corruption scandals in the history of Washington. The testimony of witnesses, the incriminating contents of Hunter Biden's laptop, the bank records showing a series of complicated transfers in an effort to conceal how ill-gotten money flowed to the various members of the Biden family--including President Biden--is all very damning."

NAACP Wants Action Against Crime

Cynthia Adams, president of the Oakland chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), and Bishop Bob Jackson, Senior Pastor at Acts Full Gospel Church called for city leaders "to crack down on rising crime, stop defunding the police, and prosecute lawbreakers. Our District Attorney's unwillingness to prosecute people who murder and commit life threatening serious crimes is hurting us."

A spokesperson for the District Attorney for Alameda County, where Oakland is located, chastised Adams and Jackson, saying, "we are disappointed that a great African-American pastor and a great African-American organization would take a false narrative on such an important matter. There are already too many Blacks behind bars. We can't achieve racial justice if we put even more of our race in jail. It's a shame that Bishop Bob Jackson and the Oakland Chapter of the NAACP don't support our crucial effort to balance the scales."

Adams called the District Attorney's response "a disservice to all the people in the city. The vast majority of Blacks are honest and decent people who need protection against the tiny minority of criminals who victimize all of us. We do not need the anti-police rhetoric that is premised on the mistaken belief that being hard on these predators would be racist. This mistaken belief has led to a tolerance of violent crime that has created a heyday for Oakland's criminals."

In related news, Chicago Mayor Brandon Jackson scolded a reporter for referring to a group of two dozen youths who looted and vandalized a convenience market a mob "because it's disrespectful. Why can't they be just be called a large gathering? I mean, doesn't labeling them a mob prejudge them as guilty?" The reporter replied that "mob is the more appropriate term for large group of persons engaged in a criminal activity. People who smash up a store and steal its merchandise deserve our disrespect." Jackson then reminded the reporter that "if a majority of voters agreed with you I wouldn't have been elected mayor."

Two Professors Fired

Florida State University criminology professor Eric Stewart built a career around the premise that systemic racism has warped law enforcement. He wrote many papers purporting to prove this point. So far, six of those published in major academic journals like Criminology and Law and Society Review have been fully retracted because of data that was fake or so bad that the papers should not have been published.

Florida State University in Tallahassee, Provost James Clark terminated the tenured professor saying "I do not see how you can teach our students to be ethical researchers or how the results of future research projects conducted by you could be deemed trustworthy."

Stewart called his dismissal "as thorough a demonstration of the validity of my systemic racist hypothesis as I could have hoped for."

Meanwhile in San Antonio, Texas, St. Philip's College professor Dr. Johnson Varkey was fired for teaching that "biological sex is determined by chromosomes X and Y. Persons with both an X and Y chromosome are male. Those with two X chromosomes are female. In response to this lesson, a few students walked out of his class and filed a complaint claiming that Varkey's teaching "pushed beyond the bounds of academic freedom with personal opinions that were offensive to many individuals in the classroom."

St. Philip's College President Idonna Nuffin defended the firing saying, "the idea that chromosomes determine one's sex is outdated. The current scientific consensus is that sex is more complicated. Whether a person has an XY combo or an XX combo cannot be said to definitively determine whether that person is male or female. One can have the body parts most commonly associated with one sex, but may, in fact be the opposite sex. Our younger faculty understand this, but the elderly Dr. Varkey obviously has not kept up to date with the advances in our knowledge made in the past few years. It would be malpractice for us to allow him to impose his erroneous opinions on innocent minds."