Author Topic: Today's Toons 4/3/23 (Read 4344 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** April 03, 2023, 10:05:55 am »

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter R:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Trump to be indicted Tuesday at 2 pm. Democrats have been asked to drink responsibly.

I can't believe it's Trump Indictment Season already. I still have my Financial Collapse decorations up.

Baby Boomers had Gender Studies when we were in grade school. It was called Playboy Magazine.

The Silicon Valley Bank’s failure was blamed on the combination of higher interest rates and the bank’s woke business practices. Yesterday in Beverly Hills I got out of a traffic ticket by pretending that I’m woke. The cop asked me why I ran through a red light and I told him it’s 2023, I don’t see color.

The San Francisco City Council will vote on a measure giving every black in the city five million dollars for reparations, no business taxes and a house for one dollar. If this passes, all I can say is this. If you’ve never seen my Al Jolson impression, have I got a song for you, San Francisco!

Business Insider asked Monday why the FBI isn’t done looking into Jeffrey Epstein’s death. The security cameras malfunctioned and he was alone because his cellmate transferred the night before. Journal Psychiatry reported that people who have dirt on the Clintons run a 900% greater risk of suicide.

President Biden said a Ukrainian group blew up Russia’s gas pipeline to Europe. Yes, Ukrainian frogmen, famously able to find an undersea pipe in a freezing Danish sea and set if off with C-4. We swear James Bond and Jack Ryan just happened to be in Denmark for a poker tournament that evening.

If America's Founders were alive today they'd be on the FBI Watch List.

China is re-training its battlefield infantry to shout the wrong pronouns at US soldiers.

Hunter Biden sued the laptop repairman for ruining his reputation by releasing his laptop, which showed him drunk, doing cocaine and having sex with hookers. I'd advise Hunter, if you want to create a good reputation, do what I'm doing. Slowly and surely outlive everyone who knew what an idiot you were.

Putin indicted by World Court for abducting children and now Zelensky wanted for scamming an elderly man out of $100 billion.

Mexico's President Lopez Labrador launched ads saying migrants are not responsible for the U.S. Fentanyl epidemic, the fault lies with American parents for not hugging their kids. Here in Los Angeles, I've learned I can make a joke about anything except illegal aliens. That's crossing the border.

The San Francisco City Council endorsed a proposal from the Slavery Reparations Board to give every black five million dollars for humanitarian reasons. There may be a business motive as well. It's the only way we can solve the U-Haul trailer shortage caused by everyone leaving California.

President Biden signed the Covid Origins Bill into law after it passed unanimously in the House and Senate. I felt pretty stupid after last week's revelations that natural immunity worked just as well as the vaccine and that masks didn't matter. We didn't follow the science we followed the television.

New York Democratic District Attorney Alvin Bragg denied his prosecution of Trump is politically motivated. However no legal expert thinks he has a criminal case. The district attorney is so easy on street criminals that Trump thought about killing someone to get Bragg to drop all charges.

The New York Times published another scary climate change warning Wednesday saying that the earth is speeding toward catastrophe if we don't act fast. It's a partisan article of faith. Democrats keep saying that the sky is falling when the only thing falling is Joe Biden on the steps of Air Force One.

Vets report dog flu breaking out in the US. Great, my neighbor just showed me his dog, a new breed from China. It's a Wuhan Lab.

Tik Tok CEO Shouzi Chew was slammed by both Democrats and Republicans in House hearings last week. Congress was investigating if Tik Tok is being used by China to spy on Americans. The CEO didn't help his case by addressing the House Committee Members by their mother's maiden name.

-- Argus Hamilton