Today's Toons 3/13/23

[pookie18]

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:



In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library hosted an open house on President's Day with a new exhibit showcasing the New Deal's landmark social legislation. Many Americans have begun comparing President Biden to FDR. Not for his policies but for his inability to walk up stairs.

Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg came to East Palestine, Ohio, to take a look at the chemical spill dressed like a clean-up worker. Nothing's funnier-looking than an Episcopalian in work clothes. Last week Pete said there are too many white construction workers and Thursday he dressed up like one.

House Republicans held a committee hearing on the U.S.-Mexican border crisis on-site in Arizona Thursday but Democrats boycotted. Oddly enough, Mexico City residents are complaining about Americans moving into their city to live opulently at lower cost. Mexico just built stairs to keep Biden out.

Vladimir Putin pulled Russia out of its nuclear deal with the U.S. and lined up with China while Biden met with NATO leaders to brace for war. Both presidents were just following their religious traditions. On both Western and Eastern Church calendars it was Reduce the World to Ash Wednesday.

President Biden met with the leaders of NATO nations in Europe Wednesday and doubled down on support for Ukraine. Unfortunately Joe fell down again while walking up the stairs to board Air Force One. It's fast approaching time for the Secret Service to place gravity on the Terrorist Watch List.

Donald Trump traveled to East Palestine, Ohio, Wednesday where he brought supplies and bottled water to victims of the chemical spill. The residents stood alongside the main street and greeted Trump like a conquering hero. President Biden will visit the town soon to see how they're doing without federal aid.

President Biden suggested the Justice Department look into to Elon Musk's business dealings. He provides Internet for Ukraine and owns the Tesla factory in Shanghai. If his business dealings in China and Ukraine turn out to be crooked, Elon could get 4 to 8 years in the White House.

Dr. Fauci stuck to his story today that covid originated either from an infected bat or a bear high on cocaine.

My neighbors don't know if their new baby is a boy or a girl. They say they'll let the kindergarten teacher decide.

We learned today that the difference between a racist conspiracy theory and breaking news is exactly 3 years.

Random House announced Roald Dahl's children's books will not be edited to take out offensive words for the sake of inclusion. Just leave the classics alone. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was about to be re-titled Charlie Who Identifies as Charlene and the Non-White Candy of Color Sweatshop.

Dilbert creator Scott Adams called out reverse racism by calling black people a hate group and urging whites to stay away from blacks. He was reacting to a poll saying 50% of blacks say it's not okay to be white. Blacks and whites have a hard time getting along in L.A. because neither one of us speaks Spanish.

The London Daily Mail reported the Ian Fleming Trust will re-edit James Bond novels to be more sensitive and politically correct for today's snowflakes. The editors started by changing the book titles. The first three new titles are Dr. No Means No, From Russia with Consensual Love and Bunchapussies.

I'll say one thing for France. They know us. They didn't give us the Statue of Equity.

To the disappointment of the mortuary and funeral home owners of Chicago, Mayor Lori Lightfoot lost her election.

President Biden hosted black leaders at the White House Monday for a banquet honoring Black History Month. Joe wandered off the Teleprompter and declared he may be white, but he's not stupid. Blacks love Joe because over many years he has singlehandedly destroyed the myth of white supremacy.

U.S. Senator John Fetterman from Pennsylvania checked into Walter Reed Hospital last week. He has never recovered from his pre-election stroke. Hospital scientists may not be able to make Fetterman fully functional again but they've assured Democrats he will be able to vote Yes on legislation.

The Supreme Court weighed the constitutionality of President Biden arbitrarily forgiving student loan debt by executive decree Tuesday. If it's allowed, the amount of student loan debt forgiveness could run up into trillions of dollars, especially after this week's news. Ukraine just enrolled in Harvard.

-- Argus Hamilton





(Thank you, Vulcan)

[Polly Ticks]

Thanks, Pookie.

[Jimino]

Ciao Pookie, thanks for the toons!

[verga]

Thank you Pookie

[pookie18]

Thanks, Pookie.

You're welcome, Polly Ticks!

[pookie18]

Ciao Pookie, thanks for the toons!

Mornin' & my pleasure, Jimino!

[pookie18]

Thank you Pookie

You're welcome, as always, Verga!

[Smokin Joe]

Thanks, pookie!

[pookie18]

Thanks, pookie!

My pleasure, as ever, Smokin Joe!

[Cyber Liberty]

Thanks for the Monday Toons and Argus Extras, Pookie!!!!!

[pookie18]

Thanks for the Monday Toons and Argus Extras, Pookie!!!!!

You're welcome, CL!