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Original Puns by JJ

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ChemEngrMBA:
My latest:

Two trainers at Sea World had their porpoises swimming quick laps back and forth across the pool, one north and south, and the other east and west.
They were at cross-porpoises.

roamer_1:
That was a Dad joke, for all intensive porpoises.  :laugh:

ChemEngrMBA:
The Lone Ranger must have lived in Canada. 
They named their biggest city after Lone Ranger’s sidekick, Toronto. 
He spoke Esperanto and loved cilantro.

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Composers of their era agreed to sit for a painting to be hung in the
Herzog Anton Ulrich Museum.

The famous painter of Blue Boy, Thomas Gainsborough, was preparing to start and he looked at the subjects of his work and said, “Wolfgang and Ludwig are here but where is Franz?”
Mozart answered, “He’s not on our list.”
Thomas: “I beg your pardon, I meant Franz Joseph”?
Luldwig replied, “Franz Joseph is hidin’.
“Well then what about Johann Sebastian?”
Wolfgang:  “He said he’ll be right back.
Oh and George Frideric couldn’t handle it.”

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One hot summer in Iowa, temperatures reached 100 degrees and hogs were dying because they can’t sweat.  The farmers brought the hogs into the barn and turned the fan on to cool them.  Of course hogs eat constantly and as a result, are pooping all over the floor constantly.  So when the farmer and his helper were doing work inside the barn they heard a loud crash and a “splat.”
The helper said, “What was that?”  Farmer replied, “That was the fan hitting the shit.”

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He couldn’t find it.  The phlebotomist searched for a blood vessel in vain.

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At the 9 AM memorial service, the mortuary director greeted friends and family of the dearly departed:  “Good mourning!”

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Astrophysicists at MIT formed a rock band and made a recording of the song they wrote, “Space-time is On My Side.”

ChemEngrMBA:
Abdominal snowman

Amazing maize maze

One good tern deserves another

ChemEngrMBA:
What sandwich do smart people have for lunch?

McDonald’s Quarter Ponders

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