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Today's Toons 2/6/23
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:
President Biden told reporters the mislaid documents were safe, locked in his garage next to his Corvette. The next day Fort Knox announced it will relocate all its U.S. gold bars to local area garages. Treasury agents said if it's good enough for classified documents, it's good enough for our gold reserves.
A UFO landed on my lawn and space alien came out and asked me to take him to our leader. I told him now is not a good time.
The Daily Mail reported that transgender activists are now demanding that Aretha Franklin's classic You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman be taken off Spotify. They say it's offensive to the trans community. The Left won't be happy until A Boy Named Sue is every grade school's fight song.
I think the only way the press will report on Biden's classified documents is if they're found in George Santos' bustier.
FBI agent Charlie McGonigal was arrested for spying for Russia Sunday. He was the FBI guy in charge of investigating Trump for Russian collusion and he turned out to be a Russian spy. Trump should forget about running for a second term and go to the PGA and demand a Mulligan for his first term.
What classified secrets?? I'm not even a Chinese spy and I know the nuclear attack launch codes are 67corvette.
llhan Omar was removed from the House Foreign Affairs Committee and put on the new Family Affairs Committee.
The FBI search for classified documents reached vice presidential level with Mike Pence and Joe Biden when he was VP. They searched Dick Cheney's house for secret documents. All they found was a note from Hillary asking Cheney how you shoot someone in the face and make it look like an accident.
The Reagan Library this week showcases Nancy Reagan's War on Drugs in the ‘80s. They replay a commercial that showed an egg frying on a skillet on a gas stove and said this is your brain on drugs. Today the egg is too expensive, the gas stove will be banned and the only thing you can get are the drugs.
NBC's Meet the Press interviewed the Mayor of New Orleans and asked why her city just replaced Chicago as the U.S. murder capital, and the mayor blamed it on Covid. That's interesting. I guess the warning label on the vaccine should read that possible side effects include myocarditis and trigger finger.
The FBI just raided Mt Vernon and seized secret classified documents showing that George Washington really could tell a lie.
Ukraine was disappointed today when the 1st Abrams tank arrived and it was Stacy Abrams. But the Russians are terrified.
Ghislaine Maxwell was interviewed in prison today. Her client list is the only secure document in Washington.
Biden's Chinese New Year party was spoiled last night when classified documents were found inside his fortune cookie.
The Border Patrol reports a spike in the number of people caught trying to bring eggs into the U.S. illegally from Mexico to sell at a huge profit on the black market. Yesterday I dropped a dozen eggs while carrying them in from the grocery store. Liberty Mutual is sending out a claims adjuster tomorrow.
The most shocking thing about the Pelosi home body cam video is if you zoom in you see more boxes of classified documents.
Thrilling news that Germany is sending tanks to Ukraine. I wonder if they'll go through Poland just for old times sake.
These classified documents keep showing up like mail in ballots.
It's unclear how bad an attack is until authorities relate the details of everyone's skin color.
My concern is, if the Republicans keep planting these documents in the president's garage, it could tip over and capsize.
The White House announced Wednesday the U.S. will send more weapons to Ukraine to help them battle the Russian Army. Biden was happy to announce he's sending tanks to Ukraine. This is the first time since his election that the word tank has been used that's not connected to his approval ratings.
President Biden gave a speech in Virginia Thursday and vowed not to negotiate with Republicans about capping the debt ceiling before the deadline in June and the U.S. runs out of money. The very possibility of a shutdown raised alarms in Washington. Government workers will have to stop not working.
President Biden was found Monday to have taken home classified documents when he was a U.S. Senator on top of the VP documents in his garage and policy office. He has a failsafe strategy to avoid impeachment and removal. He's encouraging Kamala to make as many speeches as possible and ad lib.
Forbes magazine says the stock market had its worst year since the market crashed fourteen years ago, as the tech sector is reeling. Analysts say it's a perfect time for cash-heavy takeover specialists to buy up failing companies and turn them around. Yesterday, Elon Musk purchased California for $7.63.
Novak Djokovic avoids collapsing on court and wins the Australian Open.
It's no surprise Kamala was sniped on Meet the Press by Elizabeth Warren. Liz's Indian name is Arrow in Back.
-- Argus Hamilton
(Thank you, Cyber Ninja)
Smokin Joe:
Thanks, pookie!
Polly Ticks:
Thanks, Pookie.
verga:
Thank you Pookie
Jimino:
Ciao Pookie, thanks for today's toons!
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