Biden "Brain Freeze" Refuted
This week, GOP critics jumped on President Biden's apparent gaffe while campaigning at a Volvo Group Powertrain facility in Hagerstown, Maryland when he said "let me start off with two words: made in America." Dreaded members of the MAGA terrorist organization pointed out that "made in America" is three words. This gaffe recalled an earlier Biden speech in which he touted his support for a three-letter word "jobs."
Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre refuted the gaffe interpretation, saying "those so quick to pounce on a seeming error are the ones making fools of themselves. The President's count of words is correct. If you listen closely to what he actually said, which was 'maiden America.' As many of us are well aware, the President has a long history of revering maidens in America. Videos showing his affection being expressed in the laying on of hands, stroking the hair, and nuzzling the necks of maidens are plentiful. It is not he who has been caught with his pants down, it is those so greedy for power that they would try to portray the President as a dope who have been caught in a lie."
DOJ Mounts Crackdown on Abortion Protests
In a bid to help bolster the Democrats' main campaign issue, the Department of Justice has stepped up its efforts to portray peaceful protests outside abortion clinics as domestic terrorism.
Two weeks ago a heavily-armed squad of 20 FBI agents arrested pro-life activist Mark Houck at his home in front of his wife and children. Though the case against him was already thrown out by a Pennsylvania state court last year, the DOJ decided to take a "second bite of the apple" and press federal charges under the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances (FACE) Act. Houck's attorney, Peter Breen, criticized the massive show of force, calling it "completely unnecessary. Mr. Houck is no dangerous felon. He would have voluntarily responded to a simple summons."
This week, a similar posse of armed FBI agents swarmed the home of Chet Gallagher and not finding him on the premises, demanded his wife tell them where they could find him. Gallagher is one of 11 pro-life activists charged with violating the FACE Act by standing outside the Carafem abortion facility in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee, in March 2021.
Attorney General Merrick Garland defended the heavy-handed methods as "necessary to convey the Administration's 'no tolerance' stance against any interference with a woman's right to obtain an abortion. The prayer gatherings outside of abortion clinics are designed to unnerve, humiliate, and deter women from choosing to abort their unwanted babies. This is in express opposition to the President's determination to countermand the Supreme Court's illegal repudiation of the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that gave every woman freedom of choice in reproductive matters."
The aggressive action against the peaceful demonstrations of pro-life advocates stands in stark contrast to the DOJ's apparent indifference to actual violent attacks by pro-abortion activists like the Jane's Revenge group that bombed dozens of life-saving crisis pregnancy centers across the country.
Garland denied indifference and explained that "it's a matter of prioritizing our resources to fight the greater evil. Given the threat to the climate posed by a growing population, it is essential that every means of lessening that population must be preserved. Aborting unneeded lives is more politically tolerable than euthanizing millions of unneeded adults. Fetuses can't vote. And as recent polls have shown, a majority of adult women will vote for the candidates who will ensure that abortion rights are protected."
In related news, the American Medical Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, and Children's Hospital Association have jointly signed a letter urging the DOJ "to prosecute those who publicly criticize transgender surgeries for minors. Restricting access to these surgeries to adults will condemn the great majority of those seeking to correct nature's mistake to grotesque outcomes of the sort experienced by United States Assistant Secretary for Health Rachel Levine and constitute a crime against humanity."
Fetterman Defends Light Schedule as Lt. Gov
Accosted by criticism that his light work schedule as Pennsylvania's lieutenant governor might not be the best preparation for him to assume the duties of a US Senator, John Fetterman pointed out that "Congress only works about half the days of the year. And that so-called work is mostly just hanging around in case there is a bill to be voted on. Look, if a dope like Joe Biden could hack that job for nearly 30 years anyone in America should be considered qualified to handle that job."
Fetterman also fended off contentions that his life story does not convey confidence that he understands the way the average person lives. Until he became Lt. Governor, the 53 year-old Fetterman lived off of income provided by his parents. His sister sold him his home for $1.
"Fortunately, I have had a very loving family," Fetterman said. "It would be great if every parent were as generous. Sadly, that is not the case. One of the initiatives that I hope to champion when I'm in the Senate is legislation that would, like the Obama Care law, require parents to support their children until they are able to make it on their own. If that should take 50 years like it did for me, so be it. Of course, parents would have the right to request being relieved of this responsibility if they claim they can't afford it, but whether they are relieved would be up to a court to decide."
NYC Mayor Declares State of Emergency
The arrival of 17,000 illegal immigrants bused to New York City from Texas prompted Mayor Eric Adams (D) to declare a state of emergency. "We simply cannot handle such a flood of indigents seeking to sponge off of our welfare system," Adams asserted. "It is simply not fair for Gov. Abbott (R) to inflict this calamity upon us. These people should stay in Texas where they belong."
While Abbott has initiated the busing of around 3,000 illegal migrants to New York City, El Paso Mayor Oscar Leeser (D) has sent about 7,000 illegal immigrants to NYC. Lesser contends that "our program is completely different from Gov. Abbott's. We have the full support of President Biden for what we are doing."
Abbott was unmoved by what he called "Adams' hypocrisy on the issue of illegal border crossings. He opposes efforts to secure the border. He asserts that these invaders have a right to go wherever they please. He piously proclaims New York to be a sanctuary city. Then he objects when I send 3,000 of the 730,000 illegal border-crossers that have entered Texas over the last year to his 'sanctuary' city after they willingly accept our offers to bus them there."
Hoping that police harassment might deter future trips, Mayor Adams unleashed teams of police to inspect the buses' tire pressure, windshield wiper fluids, headlights, and other equipment. "If we can increase the level of inconvenience and delay for the drivers and the bus company owners we may persuade them not to come again," he said.
Robert Reis, driver of one of the buses said "I doubt this petty interference will deter future trips. We are helping these immigrants to fulfill their dreams of becoming Americans. We drop them off wherever they want to get off along the route from El Paso to New York City. Four got off in Dallas, four got off in Nashville, and 30 got off in New York. What is the Mayor doing but trying to obstruct these dreams?"
Meanwhile, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NYC), a leading progressive ideologue, castigated Adams "for putting these people in tents located in my district. We all know that these tent cities foster criminal behavior. If we have to have them they should be put in Staten Island so Republicans can bear the brunt of the negative consequences spawned by increasing the number of these unproductive members of society in our city."
Google Blocking GOP Emails
Republican National Committee chairwoman Ronna McDaniel complained that "this week we discovered that Google's gmail algorithm designates emails originating from Republican authors as 'spam.' This routes them into users' spam folders where they go unnoticed and unread. So far, an estimated 22 million of our emails have suffered this fate. This is outrageous voter suppression by big tech and we have to hold them accountable."
Google CEO Sundar Pichai defended the algorithm as "part of our customer service. Rather than letting gmail users be inundated with the despicable lies propagated by people that President Biden has identified as 'enemies of our democracy,' we are sparing them the time and trouble of having them pop up in their inboxes. Since we offer gmail service for free we feel it is our constitutional right to censor speech of which we disapprove."
