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September in the Rage By Lloyd Billingsley [satire]


September in the Rage
“West Wing-Nut” season opener.
By Lloyd Billingsley
October 1, 2022

FADE IN to back room in the West Wing of the White House. Aides are setting up chairs and teleprompter. The actor playing JOE BIDEN enters. The resemblance is remarkable.

“The leaves of brown came tumbling down,” sings Biden. An aide named DON cuts him off.

“Okay. Sit here, Joe, for a run-through of the September 1 speech in Philly.”

“Who wrote this one?” wonders Biden.

“Neil Kinnock,” quips tall aide FRED. Don and other aides laugh.

“Yeah, yeah,” says Biden.

“Never mind who wrote the speech Joe,” says Fred. “And remember the deal. Your handlers write the speeches. You only deliver the speeches. You’re the mouthpiece, so let’s get you ready.”

A DOCTOR in a white coat gives Biden some pills, which he downs eagerly.

“OK,” says the Delaware Democrat. “Now bring it on.”

The teleprompter starts. Biden reads.

“My fellow Americans, I speak to you tonight from sacred ground in America: Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This is where America made its Declaration of Independence to the world more than two centuries ago with an idea, unique among nations, that in America, we’re all created equal. This is where the United States Constitution was written and debated.”

Don cuts him off.

“That’s good Joe. We want a patriotic, bipartisan tone up front. The people are on your side, but don’t forget, you are gearing up for people who voted for Trump.

“I hate those people,” Biden says. “They are all semi-fascists.”

“We know you hate them, Joe, and that has to come through in this speech. Remember when you told that Michigan auto worker he was ‘full of shit?’”

“Sure as hell do.”

“Good. Get back in that frame of mind.” The teleprompter resumes.



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