Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 7, 2022 Edition  (Read 913 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 7, 2022 Edition
« on: August 06, 2022, 08:18:27 am »
Cheneys Rant About Trump

Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo) called for the Department of Justice (DOJ) to prosecute former President Donaold Trump, "I and the other members of the January 6 Committee have done the hard part. We've made the accusations, compiled and edited the taped depositions, and heard the hearsay testimony. Now it's time for the DOJ to concoct a case against him and take him down."

Her father, former Vice-President Dick Cheney, concurred, calling Trump "a coward who should never again hold the reins of power." The list of Trump's cowardly behaviors cited by the former VP included "his traitorous opposition to the Iraq war, his relentless criticism of the deep state, his unprecedented refusal to accept defeat in the 2020 election, and his rejection of my 'mending the fences' offer to go quail hunting with me."

The ex-VP shrugged off the prodigious number of anomalies that occurred in securing the record-breaking 81 million votes for Joe Biden in the 2020 election, saying that "it wouldn't be the first time that cheating has turned around an election outcome. Richard Nixon was cheated out of a win in 1960. He took it like a man. I know, it seems incredible that the feeble campaign conducted by the obviously senile Joe Biden could have exceeded the record 66 million votes achieved by the dynamic Barrack Obama, but it is what it is."

Trump thanked the elder Cheney "for reminding everyone of how awful he is. The Iraq War was a foolish blunder engineered by a thoroughly corrupt deep state. His notion that Biden legitimately won in 2020 defies belief. And the last guy that I heard of going quail hunting with him got shot. I don't think his endorsement of his own daughter will sway many voters in Wyoming's August 16 primary."

In related news, though Rep. Cheney has made President Trump's alleged inaction regarding the January 6 riot at the Capitol one of her chief arguments for his prosecution, it seems she played a role in encouraging 10 former Defense Secretaries to sign a January 3 op-ed in the Washington Post opposing the idea of calling in National Guard troops to deter any potential disorder while Congress was acting on the electoral votes. "Allowing Speaker Pelosi to access National Guard troops was Trump's idea," Cheney explained. "For that reason alone we had to oppose it. It might have been a ploy to use troops to overturn the election results. Or if it did deter disorder Trump would've claimed credit for it—in which case we never could have impeached him for a second time."

DOJ Challenges Idaho Abortion Law

In the wake of the US Supreme Court's reversal of the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that created a nationwide right to an abortion, the US Department of Justice (DOJ) has filed suit against an Idaho state law that limits the circumstances in which an abortion may be performed to saving the life of the mother or if the pregnancy resulted from rape or incest.

In the DOJ suit, Attorney General Merrick Garland's team claims that the Idaho law "violates the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act of 1994, which requires health care providers to treat and stabilize anyone coming to a medical facility for emergencies. As we all know, an imminent birth constitutes a medical emergency. The only way this pending emergency can be averted is to perform an abortion. Thus, a state law impeding this medical procedure violates federal law, which according to the US Constitution is the supreme law of the land."

Gov. Brad Little (R) called the suit "a gross overreach by the Biden Administration. Our nation's highest court returned the issue of abortion to the states to regulate – end of story."

In addition to the lawsuit, Garland reminded Gov. Little that "failure to yield to the federal government's supremacy could cost Idaho millions in federal aid regardless of the outcome of our lawsuit. So, even if we lose in court the President will still have the hefty hammer of withholding federal funds from the state. The President is determined to restore the abortion rights granted by the Court in 1973 and will use every option we can think of to accomplish that."

In related news, abortion providers have asked the Kentucky Supreme Court to block the state's abortion restrictions because they "upend 50 years of the status quo by halting abortion access in the state. If this state law is allowed to stand many Kentuckians will never be able to have their unwanted children killed. They will experience the lifelong consequences of forced pregnancy, forced childbirth and forced childcare. These are harms that can never be undone."

Emails Confirm Biden Obstructed Justice

Emails on Hunter Biden's laptop show that his role on the Burisma Board of Directors was to lobby high-ranking US government officials to use their influence to persuade the Ukraine government to shut down all criminal charges against the company. This objective was achieved by none other than then Vice-President Joe Biden when he threatened to withhold a billion-dollar US aid package to Ukraine unless the prosecutor pursuing charges against Burisma was fired. The prosecutor was fired within a few hours—an outcome the VP publicly boasted about afterward.

"A lot of people were saying that my son was unqualified for the $80,000 per month salary he got from Burisma," President Biden said. "They said he knew nothing about the oil and gas business. That he didn't have any marketable skills. Well, lobbying is a very marketable skill. And, son-of-a-bitch, Hunter did an outstanding job. His company's boss got off the hook due to Hunter's efforts and connections."

The President also pointed to the FBI's refusal to investigate Hunter's laptop prior to the 2020 election as "proof that neither he nor I did anything wrong. The FBI is the nation's most-respected law enforcement agency. If I had committed a crime there is no way that they would have allowed me to run for president. The media wouldn't have suppressed information regarding the matter. This helped the American people realize that I am not a criminal. That's why 81 million of them confidently voted for me."

While the lobbying done by Hunter may not have been illegal, per se, the extortion exerted by his father was an abuse of his office. While this type of abuse is common in politics, it does not serve the public interest. The failure to prosecute this type of extortion erodes respect for law and order. This phenomenon is especially prevalent among our governing elite who now turn a blind eye toward the crimes of rioting in the streets, assaulting innocent victims, and even committing murders. If the police happen to arrest anyone for these crimes progressively-minded prosecutors and judges let them go free without bail. Later they may use "prosecutorial discretion" and decline to try these law-breakers.

Fauci Warns Unvaccinated

In a radio interview this week, Dr. Anthony Fauci, the world's most renowned covid expert, warned that "anyone who is not fully vaccinated by the Fall is going to get into trouble." Right now 80% of Americans have received at least one dose of a covid vaccine. Two-thirds have received the two-dose mRNA vaccine. Fifty percent have had at least one booster dose. According to the Doctor, "this is not enough protection."

There seems to be plenty of evidence for the diminished effectiveness of the vaccines against the spread of the of the virus and the diminished severity of the disease itself. Fully vaccinated and twice-boosted President Joe Biden has caught the omicron variant of covid and relapsed all in the space of the last two weeks. His symptoms range from extremely mild to nonexistent. Recent research shows that "instead of stopping the virus, it appears that the mRNA vaccination programs around the world may have inadvertently made the virus more widespread. Further, the dangers of the vaccines themselves, especially for young people, suggest that the risks of vaccination far outweigh the benefits."

Fauci insisted that "a lot of people think that the waning virulence of the virus means that they don't need to take more shots. They think that because young people are not seriously at risk that they shouldn't take the jabs. A new and more deadly variant may yet emerge. It is better that we be safe rather than sorry. Universal vaccination and total lockdowns in high-risk areas is the strategy that has been so successful for China. It is the only strategy that can avert disaster here. Anyone who refuses these measures will regret it."

Meanwhile in China, the city of Yongcheng was ordered locked down after a case of covid was discovered in a population of 1.6 million. The government decreed that "all residents must be tested daily. Only one person per household is allowed to leave home each day to run errands. All businesses except grocery stores, pharmacies, and hospitals must be closed. To prevent people from using unapproved cures, pharmacies are not allowed to sell antivirus and antibiotics drugs or medicines that treat a fever or cough."

In Japan, cardiovascular surgeon Dr. Kenji Yamamoto called for a halt to further covid injections citing "vaccine-induced immune thrombotic thrombocytopenia, which, in some cases, has been lethal to patients. By now the threat of death or serious illness from the mutated virus has been greatly diminished. Continued use of the dangerous experimental vaccines can no longer be justified on a risk-to-benefit calculation."

Feds Declare Monkeypox Emergency

This week, Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra declared monkeypox to be "a critical health emergency. Right now the United States has more confirmed cases of this disease than any country in the world. There is no known cure and we only have 600,000 doses of a vaccine that may help reduce the chances of coming down with the disease. By declaring this emergency the government will be empowered to take the strong measures it deems necessary to stop the spread of this terrible disease. This will include any necessary lockdowns, mandatory inoculations, or population density thinning activities the President may order."

The need for the emergency declaration was challenged by Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ken) who contends that "the hysteria being fomented by Secretary Becerra is disproportionate to the circumstances. We may lead the world in confirmed cases, but the number giving us this lead is only 6,600. Dr. Thomas Yadegar, medical director of the intensive care unit at Providence Cedars-Sinai Tarzana Medical Center says a monkeypox infection is rarely fatal and usually fades away in a couple of weeks without treatment."

"Further, mimicking the types of measures implemented against covid would do more harm than good," the Senator added. "Ninety-eight percent of the reported cases of monkeypox are among men who have indiscriminate sex with multiple men. The obvious measure for reducing the transmission of this disease would be to alter this behavior. There is no call for harsh, broad-based measures aimed at the general population."

Becerra called "Sen. Rand's proposed solution homophobic and discriminatory. Blaming their behavior stigmatizes them. Suggesting that they should change their behavior infringes on their right to choose their own lifestyle. Equity demands that we adopt policies that treat all people alike. If close bodily contact is to be prohibited it must be prohibited for all regardless of sex, sexual preference, or sexual practices. The LGBTQ community has suffered long enough. It's time that the straight portion of our population to bear their fair share."

Covid Masks Worse than Useless

It turns out that the cloth masks that were readily available to the general public and widely mandated during the covid pandemic were (1) unable to block the virus from penetrating in either direction and (2) breeding grounds for bacteria and fungi.

A Japanese study published in Scientific Reports found that while most of the bacteria and fungi on the masks were not harmful to humans, some bacteria caused diseases like food poisoning and staph infections, and some fungi caused ringworm, athlete's foot, and jock itch. Washing the masks only temporarily reduced the quantity of bacteria and fungi. People with weakened immune systems were advised that the best way to prevent these infections is to avoid wearing masks.

Epidemiologist, researcher and former Trump administration official at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Dr. Paul Alexander said that "there are over 150 studies and articles that conclude cloth masks are not effective in slowing the spread of covid. The evidence has been clear that masks do not work to control the virus and they can be harmful, especially to children."

Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told reporters that "the President hasn't lost his confidence in the effectiveness of 'masking up' as he calls it. It is a simple measure that everyone can take to show his or her support in the fight against this dreaded disease. He is also convinced that restricting everyone's breathing will help reduce the quantity of CO2 in the atmosphere. He would like to make masks a permanent addition to the apparel required to be considered 'decently clothed' in our society."

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Re: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 7, 2022 Edition
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2022, 08:07:03 pm »
What is satire and what is real...very hard to tell anymore!
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