Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 24, 2022 Edition  (Read 1080 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 24, 2022 Edition
« on: July 23, 2022, 08:41:21 am »
Assassination Attempt in NY

Candidate for New York governor Rep. Lee Zeldin (R) was assaulted at a campaign event by Democrat David Jakubonis. Jakubonis was armed with a ninja-style stabbing weapon. Zeldin and a couple of his supporters were able to fend off the would-be murderer who prematurely boasted "you're done" to his intended victim. The assailant was later released without bail. Ironically, Zeldin's speech included sharp criticism of the state's no-bail law.

Zeldin's opponent Governor Kathy Hochul (D) refused to condemn the attacker, saying that "my opponent and his extremist supporters are spreading dangerous lies and misinformation as part of their far-right agenda." Hochul had urged her supporters to attend the subsequent Zeldin event "to express their opposition to this enemy of our democracy."

On January 6, 2021 former President Trump urged his supporters "to go over to the Capitol building to peacefully and patriotically make your voices heard." As we know, a riot at the Capitol ensued. Hochul denied there is any equivalence between the two situations. "Everyone knows that Trump is an enemy of our democracy," she contended. "Whatever his words may have been, his intent is to overthrow our government. The actions of his supporters was insurrection—for which they deserve to rot in jail. In contrast, Mr. Jakubonis may have seen himself as attempting to strike a blow for democracy. The inadequacy of his method shouldn't be allowed to overshadow the sincerity of his goal. It is Zeldin who openly calls for my ouster from office. Just because he disguises it with 'ballot box' rhetoric doesn't counter his malevolent objective."

In related news, a family that donated close to $300,000 to Hochul's campaign received over $600 million in New York taxpayer money for covid test-kits in a no-bid contract. Hochul justified the deal, calling it "a normal part of the covid emergency. As we all know, the pandemic was too dire a circumstance to allow time for competitive bidding. Fortunately, there was a capable, friendly source from which we could buy these crucial supplies."

Green New Deal Hammers Sri Lanka

President Gotabaya Rajapaksa's effort to reduce pollutants by banning chemical fertilizers has had devastating impacts on his nation's economy. Inflation has shot up to a 50% annual rate. Food prices are up 80%. Transportation costs are up by 128%. A hungry and angry population is demonstrating against the government. Troops have been called out to suppress the discontent.

Rajapaksa's dream of replacing chemical fertilizers with manure and return to fully organic farming ignores the superior performance of chemical fertilizers and the downside of his "all-natural" future. "We want a society where environmental and social justice goals supplant the profit-motive for engaging in business," he said. Up until the last hundred years of civilization all food was organically grown and scarce. Malnutrition was widespread. The invention and use of chemical fertilizers improved crop yields. This enabled a more nutritious diet for billions more people and reduced cropland required by 50%.

The Biden Administration is considering sending weapons to the Sri Lankan government to help them deal with the crisis. "The green goal is too important to allow short-term discontent to interfere with its progress," the President asserted. "If we sit by while Sri Lanka reverses course our own drive toward the green future may be blunted. Experts say that the ideal maximum population for our planet and its environment is 500 million. Hard as it may be to go hungry, some sacrifices must be made to achieve the greener, less-populated Earth we all hope to see in the years to come. We stand ready to assist any nation toward achieving this goal."

While Sri Lanka is further along on the road to economic collapse, the Netherlands is in the early stages of a similar insanity. The government's climate nitrogen-reduction policies are driving farmers out of business. Since the Netherlands is the sixth largest exporter of food in the world the impact of these policies will have a wider effect elsewhere. As has done for Sri Lanka, the Biden Administration has offered to send weapons to help the Dutch government deal with non-compliant farmers. "Look, we're already sending billions to Ukraine for a much smaller impact on the environment—unless, of course, this provokes the Russians to launch the nuclear missiles they've been threatening to launch if we keep sending weapons to Ukraine," Biden observed. "There's less risk that arming the Dutch government will pose as big a danger even though the stakes are higher."

Meanwhile on another front of the battle for a greener future, California's incentive program to replace fossil-fuel-generated power with solar-power has led to a bumper crop of worn-out solar panels ending up in landfills where they are polluting the groundwater with toxic heavy metals such as lead, selenium and cadmium.

Dems Block Condemnation of Arson

With more than 100 instances of arson and vandalism at crisis pregnancy centers since the US Supreme Court's decision to overturn the 1973 Roe v. Wade abortion ruling was leaked in March, Rep. Mike Johnson (R-La) drafted House Resolution 1233 condemning these attacks. Johnson castigated House Democrats for blocking a vote on his resolution, saying "radical leftists were emboldened by the inaction of this body in the aftermath of the leaked opinion, and now they've targeted their violence against the very groups that care for women and their unborn children in their most vulnerable moments. It's unconscionable."

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) charged that "this resolution is a callous attempt to rub salt in the would created by the Supreme Court's reversal of the Roe v. Wade decision. With every woman in this country suffering from the cancellation of her right to obtain an abortion, now is not the time for us to give comfort to the kind of people who make it easier for women to disdain an abortion. If there were no crisis pregnancy centers women could more easily opt for abortion since there would be no viable alternative."

Johnson called Pelosi's stance "monstrous. America's care pregnancy centers provide absolutely essential services in all 50 states. They serve millions of women every year. They're supported by over 10,000 medical professionals. They harm no one. They save the lives of babies who might have been aborted if these centers didn't exist. They do not deserve to be terrorized by leftist mobs."

The Susan B. Anthony Pro-Life America organization said "by remaining silent on these attacks, Democrats are pouring fuel on the fire and encouraging more threats and violence against pregnancy centers and churches."

The Speaker was unmoved by these criticisms. "A month ago the U.S. Department of Homeland Security issued a warning of continued violence directed at churches, faith-based pro-life organizations, judges and lawmakers in response to the abortion ruling," she pointed out. "All these people that want our sympathy were vocal advocates for the Court decision that sparked the violence they now complain about. I say they brought this on themselves."

In related news, Rep. Kathleen Rice (D-NY) demanded that "the word abortion should be abolished. The way pro-lifers have used this word has spread the mistaken idea that a medical procedure aimed at protecting women's health violates the rights of a blob of tissue residing in their bodies. It would be helpful if the media would lead the way by excluding the word from their reporting and labeling those who do utter it as purveyors of disinformation—just like they did with the doctors and scientists who questioned the anti-covid measures prescribed by Dr. Fauci."

Buttigieg: "EVs the Obvious Solution to High Gas Prices"

Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg expressed his "impatience with all the complaining about high gasoline prices. The more pain we experience from the high price of gas, the more benefit there is from switching to electric vehicles. The stubborn insistence on holding onto the out-dated technology of the combustion engine makes me sick. Electric vehicles (EVs) are the obvious solution to mobility needs. People need to stop whining and get on-board with the government's efforts to motivate them to change how they travel."

The ability of many people to buy EVs is impeded by their high cost. The initial purchase price is around $60,000 for a standard model. The standard model comes with a "level 1" charger, which takes 40 hours to recharge the EV. Upgrading to a "level 2" charger, which can charge the EV in only eight hours, costs an extra $2,000. The ability to travel very far is impeded by the lack of a recharging infrastructure where an EV could pull off the freeway to a recharging station and be back on the road in just 15 minutes. How long it will take and how much it will cost to create and build this infrastructure is currently being studied, but it will be at least years and possibly cost trillions of dollars before this can be done.

Rep. Thomas Massie (R-Ky) said "EVs are far from the environmentalist panacea Secretary Buttigieg thinks they are. It would take four times as much electricity to charge the average household's cars as the average household uses on air conditioning. Today, EVs comprise less than 1% of the vehicle fleet. The Biden Administration wants to boost the EV contingent to 50% by 2030. Our power grid can't handle a 50% EV share of vehicles. On top of this, across the country there currently are 145,000 gasoline stations, but only 6,000 fast-charging EV stations. A massive new infrastructure will be required to power EVs on out-of-town trips. Whether EVs can ever be an adequate or affordable alternative for the travel needs of the average American is unknown."

Buttigieg admitted that "the current grid can't handle the switch to EVs. Just because the feasibility of EVs is unknown doesn't mean we shouldn't mandate them. America was built by people who lived in un-air-conditioned dwellings. Maybe if we outlaw air conditioning the grid would be capable of recharging the number of EVs the President wants us to have by 2030."

Judge Blocks Biden Rule on Sports

U.S. District Judge Charles Atchley Jr. blocked the Biden administration's rules forcing schools "to accept biological males who declare themselves transgender into female sports competitions." The Judge agreed with 20 state attorneys general plaintiffs that the Biden edict infringes on states' rights and was improperly imposed.

Judge Atchley observed that "there is no power delegated to the President to require schools to abide by his preferences regarding so-called transgender persons. The rules regarding school athletics emanate from a congressional statute. This statute specifies that the executive branch must follow the Administrative Procedure Act (APA), which governs the process by which federal agencies develop and issue regulations. Under the APA, proposed rules must be promulgated pursuant to notice-and-comment rule-making."

Atchley explicitly rejected the Administration's argument that "strictly following the APA would be too time-consuming and unnecessarily delay the desired extension of benefits to the protect class of transgenders," by reminding them that "following the law is not optional. No matter how urgently the Administration desires to implement regulations it believes are warranted, they must still follow the procedures prescribed by law. To do otherwise would permit a lawless tyranny to overthrow representative government."

Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona expressed disappointment with Atchley's decision and contended that "following it would do irreparable harm to transgenders. Our only recourse may be for the President to declare an emergency like he did with the covid pandemic. This would enable him to simply mandate the rules he wants to see put in place and enforce it by withholding federal funds from any school that does not allow men who identify as women to compete in women's sports."

Covid Irony

A year ago President Biden went on TV to tell Americans "you're not going to get Covid if you get vaccinated." Today, it was announced that the fully vaxxed and twice-boosted Biden has covid.

White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said "his doctors describe his symptoms as very mild. He is still able to eat and sleep with the same vigor he has demonstrated since he took office in January of 2021. He is careful not to infect others—as was demonstrated by his thoughtful fist-bumping during his trip to Saudi Arabia. He continues to be an inspiration to us all."

She contrasted "the President's vigor and concern for others to the carelessness and weakness displayed by Trump. When Trump tested positive for covid on October 2, 2020 he had to be hospitalized. Trump took no precautions. He wasn't vaccinated. He didn't always wear a face mask. And he debated Biden just three days earlier—a behavior that Bette Midler characterized as 'attempted murder.'"

The Press Secretary's unflattering contrast of the two men overlooks some salient facts: (1) the covid tests are notoriously unreliable, (2) there was no vaccine for Trump to take in October 2020, (3) covid virus particles are too small to be blocked by the masks commonly worn and mandated in numerous venues, and (4) Midler is an idiot.

Online mystery-ak

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Re: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 24, 2022 Edition
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2022, 07:38:43 pm »
Quote
The Press Secretary's unflattering contrast of the two men overlooks some salient facts: (1) the covid tests are notoriously unreliable, (2) there was no vaccine for Trump to take in October 2020, (3) covid virus particles are too small to be blocked by the masks commonly worn and mandated in numerous venues, and (4) Midler is an idiot.

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Offline John Semmens

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Re: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 24, 2022 Edition
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2022, 06:26:53 am »
mystery-ak,

thx

John