Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 5, 2022 Edition  (Read 712 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 5, 2022 Edition
« on: June 04, 2022, 08:10:28 pm »
Treasury Secretary Confesses: "I Don't Understand Inflation"

During an interview aired on CNN's "Situation Room," Biden Administration Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen admitted "I don't understand inflation. Everyone in the Administration is dead set against inflation. It's not like there are disagreements regarding its negative effects. Yet, despite this unanimity among those of us making economic policy inflation is wrecking the lives of ordinary Americans."

Yellen's admission was stunning considering she has a PhD in economics from Harvard University, spent nearly twenty years at the Federal Reserve—serving as its Chairperson for five years—helping manage the nation's money supply, and was on President Clinton's Council of Economic Advisers.

"I mean, how can gasoline prices be rising when the President has decreed the nation must transition to green energy?" the Secretary wondered. "If the government is in the process of making fossil fuels illegal and obsolete why aren't gasoline prices collapsing like the prices of other obsolete energy sources like whale oil collapsed? The only credible explanation is price-gouging by the greedy manufacturers."

"Clearly, we need to bring back the price controls that worked in the 1970s under Nixon, Ford, and Carter," she asserted. "This policy was so successful it was dubbed 'stagflation' because it stagnated the inflation. The whole country was unified behind a comprehensive system that brought Republicans and Democrats together in a common goal to whip inflation. The long lines to purchase gas were a much more effective means of encouraging conservation because time is more valuable than money. It was reluctance to pay the high time cost of obtaining fuel that broke the back of inflation then and could do it again today, 50 years later."

"Of course, the real wild card is the possibility of nuclear war between Russia and us over the Ukraine situation," Yellen observed. "On the one hand, hundreds of millions of people would die and the entire industrial foundations of modern life would be destroyed. On the other hand, a return to a pre-civilized mode of living would force us to reevaluate our materialistic habits and live more naturally constantly on the brink of starvation. The ills of a sedentary life style—obesity, diabetes, heart disease—would fade away, as would the burdens of caring for the elderly. We might actually be better off in the long run if this did happen."

Biden Not Getting the Credit He Deserves

Plunging poll numbers have President Biden in a snit. He's particularly irked that his intended "ultra MAGA" smear tactic has backfired as Trump proudly appropriated the phrase for his own use saying "after a year-and-a-half of ultra Biden incompetence and disaster the American people are eager for a return of the policies that had this country on track for record-breaking prosperity."

"The runaway prosperity that Trump inflicted on the American people was wrecking the environment," Biden complained. "I don't understand why I'm not getting more credit for reversing course. It's as if voters prefer selfish personal gains over ecological virtue. I can't believe this is true. All my advisers assure me that what this country needs is a return to the simpler life humanity enjoyed before capitalism ruined it."

Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC), a man many now credit for elevating the demented Biden to the presidency by endorsing him in the 2020 Democratic primary as "the only one who could unite the country," seconded the President's anger over his declining support in the polls. "I blame white supremacist terrorists and their media minions for turning the middle class against the best friend they've ever had in the White House."

Presidential Nonsense

In a speech to the graduating class of the US Naval Academy, President Biden revealed that in 1965 Sen. Senator J. Caleb Boggs (R-Del) signed a letter recommending him for admission to the Naval Academy. Biden said he decided not to go to the Academy because his desire to play starting quarterback on the football team was blocked by Roger Staubach—the greatest player to ever play for Navy and later MVP for the Superbowl winning Dallas Cowboys. Biden played football in high school, but graduated from the University of Delaware in 1965 with no varsity football experience.

In a speech to the Coast Guard during a change of command ceremony, the President warned that "global warming will soon shift the American coastline hundreds of miles inland from where it is now. Scranton—my hometown—will become the major eastern seaport of the country. Washington, DC will be completely submerged. It's no joke."

CBS News White House correspondent Ed O'Keefe asked Biden's new Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre if she could clarify what the President was trying to say, but she rebuffed his request, saying "I don't pay no attention to what that crazy white dude says. None of it makes any sense. I would advise you to do likewise."

Arming Teachers Would Save Lives

Research carried out by the Homeland Security Institute at Purdue University shows that the presence of an armed school resource officer and having 5% to 10% of the teachers and staff trained to carry and use firearms can reduce fatalities in an active shooter situation by 80%. Furthermore, a recent poll by the Trafalgar Group found that 57% of voters say the absence of armed school staff members makes schools more dangerous. Thirty-one percent disagreed.

In Ohio they have a program called FASTER (Faculty/Administrator Safety Training & Emergency Response). It was established after the 2012 mass shooting of students at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Connecticut. In the decade since the FASTER program began there has never been an incident of an accidental discharge of a firearm by a teacher. Neither has there been an instance of a gun being taken by a student. Colorado has a similar program.

Despite the research results and voter support for this approach, most Democrats oppose arming any school staff. President Biden insists "it's time we ban all assault weapons. This is not about taking away anyone's guns. It's about making it illegal to own them."

In Texas, Democrat gubernatorial candidate Beto O'Rourke called for "confiscating all AR-15 and AK-47 rifles. If I were governor instead of the do-nothing Abbott, the shootings in the Uvalde elementary school would never have happened. I'm confident that the voters won't make the mistake of reelecting this dud in November."

In Florida, Democrat gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist promised "to outlaw assault weapons the day I take office. I agree with Rep. Cicilline (D-RI). Spare me the bullshit about constitutional rights. Anyone who's not insane knows it's past time that we disarm those who have no need to own guns. When the police and armed forces are the only ones with guns no unauthorized mass shootings will be possible. Everyone who wants a safer future must vote Democrat this year."

Media Alarmed Democrats May Lose Elections

This week the Associated Press (AP) published a dire warning that white Cristian nationalists "may drastically alter the composition of the American government this November by voting against Democrats. By cunningly confining their tactics to the completely legal option of voting against those in power they could force changes that would upset the unity President Biden has arduously struggled to achieve."

MSNBC talking head Joy Reid hailed the AP warning, calling it "a timely and desperately needed alert. We in the mainstream media need to take a stronger stand against these enemies of democracy. We can't afford to keep pretending to objectively present opposing views. Christian nationalism poses a very real threat to American national security and social cohesion. If we sit by and allow them to elect the kind of people who will favor their values the right to an abortion will be seriously curtailed. The progress that has been made to normalize LGBTQ values will be derailed. And the premise of universal white guilt will be undermined."

Writer David Bates cautioned "don't let their peaceful methods and demeanor fool you. They will go after every office and seat, from the White House to school boards, city councils, even library boards—voting in massive numbers unlike we have ever seen before. This is what fascism looks like in America in the 21st century. We must not forget that Hitler was elected to office and used that office's authority to declare an emergency that allowed him to rule by decree. Any tactic that can thwart them is justifiable."

The irony is that many of the Democrats who might be voted out of office have cunningly used the democratic system to gain power. They vote in large numbers. Sometimes their fear of losing has driven them to vote more than once or even after they're dead. Once their favored candidates are in office they have used that office's authority to declare emergencies and ruled by decree—labeling opposing views disinformation and demanded these views be censored.

In related news, the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Agency (CISA) issued an alert warning that "Dominion voting machines have software vulnerabilities that leave them susceptible to hacking." An example of what could happen was demonstrated in the recent Democratic primary in DeKalb County Georgia. The Dominion machines made Marshall Orson the winner. Third place finisher Michelle Long Spears called for a hand count after numerous precincts showed her getting zero votes. The hand count showed she was the winner and Orson the third place finisher. Fraud is suspected.

Offline jafo2010

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Re: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 5, 2022 Edition
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2022, 06:43:51 am »
A man that is utterly

C   L   U   E   L   E   S   S

would only surround himself with people of lesser intelligence, for he would NEVER be able to tolerate being shown up to be the idiot he is.  So where you ask does that leave America?

            S   O   L   !

If America had a media that was anything but corrupt and worth a good BM, the truth of these clowns would have been known the first week of this clown act's presidency. 
« Last Edit: June 09, 2022, 06:45:40 am by jafo2010 »