Airline Mask Controversy
This week, American Airlines CEO Doug Parker and Southwest Airlines CEO Gary Kelly testified before the Senate Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee on the issue of mask requirements.
Kelly said that "the air cabin environment is very safe and very high quality compared to any other indoor setting." Parker concurred, saying "all of our aircraft have the same HEPA filters and air flow. As far as air quality goes, an aircraft is the safest place you can be."
When Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif) was spotted on a United Airlines flight without wearing a mask she cited Kelly and Parker's testimony. "I know there's supposed to be a rule, but no one hassled me. They hassled some other folks, but none of them are members of Congress. We know from the testimony of those airline CEOs that there's no health benefit from wearing a mask. The real issue is whether the common people will abide by the rules the government makes for them."
Meanwhile, on a different United Airlines flight, Adam Jenne was kicked off and banned from ever flying on United again for life even though he was wearing a mask that also happened to be a thong. UA CEO Scott Kirby explained "the passenger's contention that his cloth mask was just as good as anybody's is not the issue. We all know that these flimsy face-coverings are useless for stopping covid. His choice of a thong was disrespectful. Disrespect for authority is something we take very seriously at United. If we tolerate people like Mr. Jenne we would be degrading the flying experience and could be sanctioned by the FAA."
Omicron Panic
The emergence of the more contagious, but milder Omicron variant of the covid virus has created a wave of apprehension in covid policy-making circles.
Dr. Anthony Fauci lamented "to the untrained person, Omicron is indistinguishable from an ordinary cold. This will greatly complicate our ability to achieve the goal of 100% vaccination. We're already losing credibility with all the breakthrough covid infections we're seeing. Right now, there are fears that the vaccines may be making things worse, but it's the only strategy we have. What dire message can we convey that will encourage the vaccine resisters to take the jab?"
As is worthy of a great leader, President Biden wasted no time in concocting a dire message by predicting "a winter of severe illness and death if more people don't get vaccinated. I ordered everyone to get vaccinated just a few months ago. That some are still disobeying me is unforgivable disloyalty, maybe even treason. It's all so senseless. If you're vaccinated you can't get sick or infect others. As for the complaint that I'm infringing on personal freedom, well, not too long ago a great actor and former governor said 'screw your freedom. Get vaccinated.' I wouldn't have used those words, but I agree with the sentiment. I say, be a patriot and get vaccinated."
The seriousness of the threat from Omicron was illustrated this week when 100 NFL players tested positive for covid and had to be quarantined for two weeks. All but one of these players was already vaccinated. In fact, during the two years that the pandemic has been with us not a single NFL player has died or become seriously ill with covid. Commissioner Roger Goodell attributed the health of the league's players to "our rigorous vaccination program. To meet the danger of Omicron we are ordering all players get booster shots before the end of the year." Whether vaccinations merit such faith is cast into doubt by the fact that no players died or became seriously ill with covid during 2020 when no vaccines were available.
In related news, National Institute of Health Director Francis Collins boasted about his bravery during the Trump Administration. "If I had listened to Trump and approved the use of hydroxychloroquine for treating covid we would never have been able to issue the emergency use authority for the covid vaccines because we can't give an EUA if there's an approved treatment available. I know some doctors seem to have successfully used hydroxychloroquine to help people recover from the disease, but the inability to give the EUA for the Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson vaccines would have cost these great companies billions in profit."
Noble Sacrifice
The policies of the Biden Administration have resulted in a major boost in the cost-of-living. The average American household must now pay $3500 more to achieve the same consumption they had last year.
Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen maintains that "this series of events is all according to plan. When voters chose Biden over Trump in the 2020 election they opted for lowering their standard of living in order to save the planet. They explicitly rejected Trump's hedonistic prosperity. They chose unselfishness over greed. It was a noble sacrifice."
Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV), however, has his doubts that this was a conscious choice. "The inflation we are seeing now is too dangerous. That's why I couldn't back the President's multi-trillion dollar Build a Better America bill."
Biden called Manchin's position "a betrayal of the Party. We are trying to complete the transformation begun by former President Obama. If Manchin were a true Democrat he would be falling in line behind my agenda. Instead, he is helping the counterrevolutionaries stall further progress. Such disloyalty deserves punishment. I am looking forward to the day my advisors will let me order his arrest."
In related news, Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn) made a pitch to the Communist Party affiliate in Connecticut to get behind Biden's Build a Better America legislation. A key selling point he made was to point out that "we Democrats want the same kind of economic justice you do. Republicans who oppose this program are the enemies of communism."
Dems Pivot to Voting Bill
Now that the Build a Better America legislation has been put on the back burner due to lack of sufficient votes in the Senate, the Democrats are switching their focus to the "For the People Act." This legislation would federalize all elections and shift control of the processes of determining who is eligible to vote, getting them registered, collecting the ballots and counting them.
Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) complained that "the hodge-podge of different processes in each state needs to be replaced by a uniform approach. Republicans have always tried to restrict the right to vote by insisting on unnecessary qualifications like citizenship, residence in the state, registration prior to election day, photo or signature verification for each ballot cast, and a severely limited number of weeks in which ballots may be cast, collected, and counted. We need to loosen all these qualifications and limits."
"Since voting is a human right we need to make every effort to ensure that every human casts a ballot," Schumer demanded. "And like we do for those accused of a crime, if an individual cannot vote the government should be able to appoint someone to vote for him. Since an official election day may be inconvenient for many voters voting should be an any time, any place activity. Rather than allowing local government employees and volunteers to oversee the counting of ballots there ought to be a federal force of full-time professionals to handle everything everywhere."
President Biden cited his own success in the 2020 election as grounds for supporting the Act. "It was because of the extraordinary loosening of the rules due to the covid pandemic that I was able to amass the most votes for a president in our nation's history," he bragged. "We need to make this loosening and its expansion a permanent feature so the nation never again has to fear the victory of a monstrously unqualified candidate like Donald Trump. Federalizing the process will ensure this. As a great statesman once said 'what is extraordinarily important is who will count the votes, and how.' The 'For the People Act' will see that the right people will count the votes the right way."
Schiff Doctors Text Messages
During a hearing on the riot at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, Adam Schiff offered a document he contended is proof that Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Oh) texted former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows to instruct former Vice President Mike Pence to overturn the 2020 presidential election results. It turned out to be a doctored document.
Schiff defended what he called his "creatively enhanced version a common practice in our field. Look, the Steele Dossier was entirely bogus, but it led to the appointment of Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller and four years of investigation of President Trump--a political triumph that justified the false accusations. On top of this, many times I have seen reports from the Babylon Bee and Semi-News in which quotes are totally made up or adulterated from the actual words used by people like myself. If it's okay for them to do it why isn't it okay for me to do it."
Well, it would be okay if Schiff were writing satire, but he is attempting to use his satire as evidence for charges against political rivals. This is not the first time Schiff has tried to use doctored content to push his political vendettas against Republicans. Notably, he manufactured bogus telephone conversations that he used to help initiate the first impeachment trial of former President Trump.
Pelosi Defends "Free Market"
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) parried accusations of corruption in her stock market dealings by claiming "it's all part of a free market. Members of Congress are as free as anybody else to buy and sell stocks. The only extra requirement we have is periodically reporting these transactions."
Scrutiny of Pelosi's transaction reports showed a remarkable record of timely purchases of stocks that rose in value after certain pieces of legislation were enacted. In spirit, at least, such transactions seem to violate insider-trading regulations—something that Martha Stewart ran afoul of and spent five months in jail for in 2004.
Pelosi contended that "my speculations are different. Insofar as any legislation I might help get enacted enriches a private company I don't think it is unwarranted for me to be compensated. Buying the stock before the legislation is passed is a legal way for me to get paid." She also alleged that "members of Congress are woefully under compensated salary-wise. As high up in the pecking order as we are, $174,000 per year plus expense is too skimpy. At least my stock trading profits don't come out of the taxpayers' pockets."
In related news, Pelosi professed herself "mystified" by the crime surge in her beloved San Francisco. "We've been very kind to people—letting the accused out of jail without bail, legalizing thefts of less than $950 dollars, granting early release from prison sentences," she exclaimed. "I can't understand why things are getting worse there. It's the red states where people are brazenly disobeying the President's order to get vaccinated. I would have expected there to be more crime in those areas. Luckily for me, I have a $23 million mansion in Florida I can move to. For some reason, crime there is so much lower."
