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Today's Toons 2/28/11

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

At the union protests in Wisconsin, several doctors were on hand to write fake excuse notes for teachers who called in sick to attend the rallies. Wonder if this is some of that medical waste, fraud, & abuse that Obamacare was supposed to fix?
 

Wisconsin's Governor Walker said that if his bill cutting union benefits isn't passed, 12,000 workers would have to be fired. I guess the union's thinking that, sure the fired people won't be getting paid, but they won't be getting paid their FULL benefits package.
 

During an interview on CNN, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld criticized President Obama, saying he "made a practice of trying to apologize for America." So much he's perfected it.
 

The US Navy set a new world record, recording the most powerful laser blast ever from their system, which is designed to shoot down missiles. This is exciting. A new missile defense system. I wonder which country Obama will pull it out of first?
 

Chicago schools are reporting that, even though they're serving government-standard healthy lunches, the kids aren't eating them because they taste awful. Ya know, I'd say this is a perfect metaphor for failed government programs, but this IS a failed goverment program.
 

The left keeps comparing Obama to Ronald Reagan, but can you imagine Obama in West Berlin in 1987? "Mr. Gorbachev, please consider negotiating on structural modifications to this wall."
 

Doctors say they've gotten good results treating psychiatric diseases with "brain pacemaker" electrical implants. Maybe they should send some up to DC and see if they work on compulsive spending disorder.
 

The University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health says it's investigating claims its doctors gave out fake excuse notes to union protesters, but they're still "gathering information". Guys, if you're having trouble finding YouTube, ask any 12-year-old.
 

On MSNBC, one of the Wisconsin Democrats hiding out in Illinois said "we'll do this as long as necessary". Funny, that's what people in Wisconsin are saying about electing Republicans.
 

Now state Democrats in Indiana have fled the state to prevent a vote on a budget-cutting measure. Have Republicans tried yelling "ally ally oxen free"?
 

Hoping to lure Democrats back, Wisconsin Republicans passed a rule that state senators who miss two floor votes have to pick up their paychecks in person. Here's a better idea: first one back gets to keep ALL the missing Democrats' paychecks.
 

In a speech before the Nevada legislature, Harry Reid said "the time has come for us to outlaw prostitution." Typical Democrat. Aiming to shut down the one industry that'll never need a bailout.
 

On MSNBC's "Hardball", Chris Matthews compared Sarah Palin to Libya's Muammar Gaddafi. Huh. I had no idea Gaddafi had ever field-dressed a moose.
 

The King of Saudi Arabia is doling out $37 billion in handouts to the Saudi people in an attempt to keep the unrest in the Middle East from spreading to his country. To his credit, at least he's not claiming he's doing it to save or create jobs.
 

Iran's President Ahmadinejad said that Mideast leaders should heed calls for change. Those runaway Democrats in the Midwest should, too.
 

During the Chicago mayoral election, 3 polling judges had to be removed for showing up drunk. What's the big deal? Half the people that voted for Rahm Emanuel weren't even alive.
 

Saudi Arabia promised to increase oil output to keep energy prices from rising because of the Libyan unrest. Meanwhile we're stuck with solar panels instead of oil wells. What's Obama gonna promise? More sunny days?
 

After the DNC drew up a resolution to honor Nancy Pelosi, Pelosi edited it to list more of her accomplishments. Huh. I'm surprised she didn't make it 2000 pages long and insist it be passed in the dead of night on a weekend.
 

A cold front heading toward the West Coast could bring snow to San Francisco for the first time in 35 years. Well, it's a completely harmless natural substance, so I suppose Obama'll have the EPA regulate it.
 

One of the runaway Wisconsin Democrats told the New York Post that hiding out in hotels in Illinois was "a financial hardship". Well, it could be worse. He could be stuck in Wisconsin paying for public union salaries & benefits.
 

  -- Fred Thompson
 

CBS News reporter Lara Logan made the cover of the New York Post twice after she was raped by dozens of Egyptians in the middle of the Tahrir Square protests. It's a rough business. Anderson Cooper can't believe he didn't think of adding rape to his Tahrir Square beating story.
 

President Obama proposed a budget that doesn't cut Social Security or Medicare or Medicaid Monday, avoiding entitlements altogether. It paints the GOP in a corner. Republicans just realized if he won't touch sacred cows then he's not Muslim, he's a Hindu.
 

Wisconsin Senate Democrats fled to Illinois Thursday to deny Republicans a budget vote quorum. It was a brilliant move. They went to a Best Western with an indoor pool next to a bar so when they come home with bloodshot eyes they can blame it on swimming.
 

Jesse Jackson led Wisconsin teachers in the singing of We Shall Overcome Friday. It was the first time the song was sung by a crowd averaging a hundred thousand dollars a year with benefits. What are they overcoming, how hard it is to get good help nowadays?
 

Wisconsin union protesters stormed the governor's private residence Friday. They were aided by Obama's Organizing for America group. It's a sure sign Obama's President Reagan and President Kennedy phase is over, this week he's president of the Teamsters.
 

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz told Democrats Friday to stop referring to health care as Obama Care to help save it. The Obama brand is ruined. Last week the Air Force stitched Obama's name on a windbreaker and they can't even sell it on eBay for a dollar.
 

Jesse Jackson spoke at the Wisconsin union employee protests Monday. He called the protest a Martin Luther King and Gandhi moment. After the singing of We Shall Overcome, he led the crowd in the traditional social justice chant, No Freebies, No Peace.
 

Libya's oil was seized by eastern tribal chiefs near Benghazi Monday. It's the world's lightest, sweetest crude. It's so valuable that tribal leaders say they will only part with it in exchange for being enrolled in the Wisconsin Teachers Pension Plan.
 

Wisconsin Democrats remained in hiding Monday to avoid losing a teachers union vote. Someone should paint a double yellow line around the earth. That's so Arabs rushing toward democracy don't crash into the state legislators rushing away from it.
 

Wisconsin teachers protests drew no media criticism for being as all-white as Tea Party rallies. It was something to see. The last time Jesse Jackson faced this many white people he was promising the people of Memphis he will be out of town by sundown.
 

Wisconsin Senate Democrats stayed missing Monday to avoid a vote lowering state worker benefits. Now Indiana Democrats have disappeared. The Democrats just fired the donkey as the party symbol and replaced it with a police sketch of the Lindbergh baby.
 

White House former chief of staff Rahm Emanuel was elected mayor of Chicago on Tuesday by a landslide. The Democrats are so grateful it wasn't close. The soil is rock hard from the coldest winter in history and nobody wants to recount the votes.
 

Wisconsin state employee union protesters vowed Wednesday they will stay in their picket lines and wait there until they win. Then it won't happen. If there's one thing a majority of Americans enjoy watching it's government workers having to wait in line.
 

Libya's government buckled in the face of pro-democracy protesters Friday just like Egypt and Tunisia. What a transformation. It's a miracle to see all these countries run by ruthless, America-hating dictators change overnight into ruthless, America-hating democracies.
 

White House former chief of staff Rahm Emanuel was elected mayor of Chicago by a huge margin. It was the usual coalition. Emanuel carried sixty percent of the black vote, sixty-five percent of the women's vote and one hundred percent of the deceased vote.
 

Michelle Obama and her two daughters returned to Washington after a skiing trip to Colorado last weekend. Following the trip she told an interviewer she does not allow her daughters to go on Facebook. They have enough phony friends, they're in politics.
 

-- Argus Hamilton
 

I spent Presidents Day acting like a president. I took someone else’s money and spent it on something I don’t need.
 

Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi was on TV and he was angry and defiant. Then he went off the air and no one has seen him since — kind of like Keith Olbermann.
 

Economists say that with all this unrest, gas prices could rise to $5 a gallon. The good news is that instead of this money going to ruthless America-hating dictators, it will go to ruthless America-hating democracies. 
 

The price of oil is rising because of all the unrest in the Middle East. And the unrest in Wisconsin is causing the price of cheese to go through the roof.
 

Congratulations to Rahm Emanuel on being elected mayor of Chicago. His first order of business after taking office will be to actually move to Chicago.
 

  -- Leno
 

Rahm Emanuel is expected to win the election for mayor of Chicago. In keeping with Chicago tradition, his victory was announced two weeks ago.
 

  -- Conan
 

Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has said Gadhafi has gone too far. That’s like an Australian bartender telling you that you’ve had too much to drink.
 

  -- Jimmy Ferguson
 

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid says he wants to outlaw prostitution in his home state of Nevada. He said he wants to keep prostitution where it belongs — in Washington, D.C
 

  -- Jimmy Fallon
 

If Gov. Scott Walker is driven out of power in Wisconsin, there will be a power vacuum that may be filled by the Muslim Brotherhood.
 

  -- Letterman
 

---------------------------------------
 

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.
 

When he got to the first one, he asked the madame, "Is this a union house?"
 

"No, I'm sorry it isn't."
 

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
 

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20."
 

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop.
 

His search continued as long as you want to draw things out, until finally he reached a brothel where the madame said, "Why yes, this is a union house."
 

"And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
 

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
 

"That's more like it!" the man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive redhead. "I'd like her for the night."
 

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the madame, gesturing to a fat fifty-year-old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority."
 
 
 

Davidfxs:
Morning Pookie, have a great week thank you for the Toons

pookie18:

--- Quote from: Davidfxs on February 28, 2011, 11:54:03 am ---Morning Pookie, have a great week thank you for the Toons

--- End quote ---

Mornin', you're welcome, & the same to you, David!

Oceander:
Yeah pookie!

pookie18:

--- Quote from: Oceander on February 28, 2011, 12:17:18 pm ---Yeah pookie!

--- End quote ---

Mornin', Oceander!

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