As PT test requirements are lowered, rumor has it that, in order to maintain recruitment levels, other standards will be lowered. A few specifics:
- High school diplomas will no longer be required. Proof of attendance at a valid Kindergarten will demonstrate a clear ability to learn in a classroom environment and will be sufficient.
- Enlistment paperwork will no longer require a signature. A significantly unique "X" can be substituted, and may be written in crayon.
- Language skill requirements will be modified to eliminate the need to be able to use words. Barking will be substituted as an acceptable level of communication skills.
- Sight requirement will be modified, requiring passage of a simple test demonstrating that the recruit will not walk into walls in a brightly lit area.
Hopefully, these clear and unambiguous standards will strike fear into the hearts of our enemies.