Humor/Jokes

[corbe]

   She's gaining weight, apparently these little fellas are fattening.

[corbe]

[sneakypete]

@corbe

So true,so true. EXPECIALLY since the DNC has made DAMN sure to keep the "stink" of Shitstainistan off of Kameltoe by sending her to VN and the press making DAMN sure to not ask her and questions about US policy in the muddle east.

Slow Joe is on the way out,and she is on her way in,so she can run as a sitting president in 2024.

Kinda feel sorry for Hunter. He is going to get stuck with a big-ass garage full of paintings,and nobody out there wanting to buy them. Then again,he has probably already used his new-found wealth to buy and store a 10 year supply of crack and coke,so he's good until his heart explodes.

I will only add "Please,please,PLEASE don't let Slow Joe die until AFTER the 2024 elections! If he were to die before them,it might create enough sympathy votes from the airheads to keep the Dims in office. If that happens,America as a free and indepedent nation is over.

[Smokin Joe]

I see a burka in the widow reflection.  Could be she is talking to Jihad and Gaza spice about Afghanistan

Maybe the bald guy behind her is photoshopped in? That's his reflection.

[corbe]

[corbe]

[corbe]

Don't think so @corbe
Members Only does not mean we relax this rule:

Prohibited:

Pornographic or sexually inappropriate & suggestive content in the form of memes, graphics or videos. Including, but not limited to full or partial frontal or rear nudity, genitalia, bare female breasts, nipples, etc.

[jmyrlefuller]

[Hoodat]

Don't think so @corbe
Members Only does not mean we relax this rule:

Prohibited:

Pornographic or sexually inappropriate & suggestive content in the form of memes, graphics or videos. Including, but not limited to full or partial frontal or rear nudity, genitalia, bare female breasts, nipples, etc.

Can't get anything past Mod8.

[Smokin Joe]

Can't get anything past Mod8.

Oh, bother!

[corbe]

   @Hoodat
   It was pretty Risque, even by TBR's standards, which I think are Looser than other sites I visit.  It was an ol B/W photo of 4 American Women laying on their stomachs on a beach somewhere in the early 40's exposing their beautiful buttocks only.
   With that being said Mod8 usually gives me the benefit of the doubt but I know better than to test Her resolve. 
   A matter of Taste, I suppose.

[jmyrlefuller]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a horse's ass.

[corbe]

*Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet.
*Bonus Question: *Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives us two possibilities:
*1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
*2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So, which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by my girlfriend Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh God, I'm coming."
The student received an A+ !!!!!!

[Smokin Joe]

*Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet.
*Bonus Question: *Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives us two possibilities:
*1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
*2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So, which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by my girlfriend Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh God, I'm coming."
The student received an A+ !!!!!!

Beautiful, just beautiful.

[Wingnut]

Beautiful, just beautiful.

See now, what corbe did...this is what a joke thread is about!

[Smokin Joe]

See now, what corbe did...this is what a joke thread is about!

I especially like it because our midterm Chemistry exam had a reaction curve with curves coming in from the right and left axes, dropping exponentially with a gap in between, and a third curve which proceeded from one axis and dropped betweeen the other two. It was an extra credit question, Identify the reaction.

The correct answer? Evel Kneivel jumping the Snake River Canyon.

(Who says scientists are humorless?)

[240B]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a horse's ass.

She is wearing a Chic-fil-A take out bag -- extra large

[Smokin Joe]

She is wearing a Chic-fil-A take out bag -- extra large

I pretty much guarantee that the price of that bag far exceeds the whole menu at Chic-fil-A, whether she paid a dime for it or not.

[240B]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oseqh7SMIvo

[corbe]

https://youtu.be/wOy2QCssTaI

[corbe]

https://youtu.be/YJGZp54h1uI

[corbe]

Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't
Prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting
Attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to
The stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me? "She
Responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
You were a young boy, and frankly, you've been
A big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
Manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
You're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
Amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
The room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney? "She
Again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.Bradley since he was a
Youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
Can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
One of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
Wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
Him."The defence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very
Quiet voice, said;

"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you
To the electric chair."

[Kamaji]

Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't
Prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting
Attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to
The stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me? "She
Responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
You were a young boy, and frankly, you've been
A big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
Manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
You're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
Amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
The room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney? "She
Again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.Bradley since he was a
Youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
Can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
One of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
Wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
Him."The defence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very
Quiet voice, said;

"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you
To the electric chair."

[sneakypete]

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very
Quiet voice, said;

"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you
To the electric chair."

@corbe

LOL!

[corbe]

   Thought I'd bury this here to avoid any Mod reports from the Church Lady's.
   Shirley, they don't frequent this place.