Author Topic: Humor/Jokes  (Read 12807 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline sneakypete

  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 52,963
  • Twitter is for Twits
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #50 on: June 09, 2021, 01:50:28 pm »
Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Offline Texas Robin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 176
  • Gender: Female
  • Breathe...then go forward
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #51 on: June 09, 2021, 09:45:25 pm »
   Damn @thackney I hope he's OK or recovering well. 
   US OLD MEN heal a lot slower, it seems. I had 15 stitches 8 days ago and just put on jeans for the first time since.  Can't even mow my small yard or drive.

    Thank You @Texas Robin for EVERYTHING!!!!!!



     PS: I'm out of Cherry Bourbon Jell-O Shots.  66666heart
  8888crybaby @corbe I've made Butterscotch scnapps and cranberry jello, not to bad. Then I made cherry jello with coconut voldka and Chambord (dark rasberry liquer - to sip). those turned out real good.  :yowsa: ***magic
Everything has an expiration date, so make the most of it

Offline corbe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 38,467
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #52 on: June 09, 2021, 09:52:54 pm »


  You are a strange Woman @Texas Robin with your Liquor selections BUT I really enjoy your company, Jell-O shots or not.    :beer:
No government in the 12,000 years of modern mankind history has led its people into anything but the history books with a simple lesson, don't let this happen to you.

Offline Cyber Liberty

  • Coffee! Donuts! Kittens!
  • Administrator
  • ******
  • Posts: 80,316
  • Gender: Male
  • 🌵🌵🌵
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #53 on: June 09, 2021, 10:00:10 pm »
@corbe @Texas Robin

Yes, the coconut set me off a bit, but it seems to me you are in good hands.  It sounds like all y'all are doing better!
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

BassWrangler

  • Guest
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #54 on: June 10, 2021, 04:02:39 pm »

Online DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,142
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #55 on: June 10, 2021, 06:12:50 pm »




« Last Edit: June 10, 2021, 06:15:57 pm by DCPatriot »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Online DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,142
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #56 on: June 10, 2021, 06:19:21 pm »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

BassWrangler

  • Guest
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #57 on: June 10, 2021, 06:44:06 pm »

Offline corbe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 38,467
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #58 on: June 10, 2021, 08:26:06 pm »
    @DCPatriot



   Stay away from anyone named Booth and don't drive Fords.


No government in the 12,000 years of modern mankind history has led its people into anything but the history books with a simple lesson, don't let this happen to you.

Online DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,142
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #59 on: June 10, 2021, 08:39:07 pm »
    @DCPatriot



   Stay away from anyone named Booth and don't drive Fords.

@corbe

@truth_seeker  RIP

LOL!

Poor agents' clients are damned sick and tired of being 'Bridesmaids' and never the Bride in these multiple offer situations...which is virtually every circumstance today.

It's emotionally taxing on Realtors. 

That said, it wouldn't hurt to get as much information as you can about your BUYER AGENT in terms as his experience and number of transactions per years, etc..

The more business he/she does, the higher number of other productive agents are familiar with him.

Personally, today, I'd just call the agent on the sign on the front lawn.  The Listing agent is the only person that knows the details of every offer.

You want the damned house.  Give the Listing Agent the chance at both ends in exchange for insider trading information.  LOL!
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Online DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,142
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #60 on: June 10, 2021, 08:42:03 pm »
@corbe



Oh...but that new Ford Maverick Lariat for under $30K.....NAWWWWWW           22222frying pan
« Last Edit: June 10, 2021, 08:43:55 pm by DCPatriot »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline corbe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 38,467
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #61 on: June 10, 2021, 09:04:11 pm »
   I paid $48K for my house 20 years ago, @DCPatriot  now it's worth $283K.  No one has stepped inside of it to see the renovations I've done to it (no permits ever pulled). 
   The Main problem is that it is gonna cost me twice to buy another fixerupper.  I'll sit low for another year and wait for the Real Estate Market to cool, some.   Am I wrong?
No government in the 12,000 years of modern mankind history has led its people into anything but the history books with a simple lesson, don't let this happen to you.

BassWrangler

  • Guest
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #62 on: June 10, 2021, 09:28:32 pm »
   I paid $48K for my house 20 years ago, @DCPatriot  now it's worth $283K.  No one has stepped inside of it to see the renovations I've done to it (no permits ever pulled). 
   The Main problem is that it is gonna cost me twice to buy another fixerupper.  I'll sit low for another year and wait for the Real Estate Market to cool, some.   Am I wrong?

Reportedly there are big investment companies buying up homes at up to 150% of "fair market" value now. I'm guessing it's a hedge on inflation. My wife and I were planning a "brexit" from Washington state to escape a growing wave of liberal insanity, but now we're a bit scared we'll get caught in the middle of a real estate crash and take a huge bath.

Offline corbe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 38,467
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #63 on: June 10, 2021, 09:33:33 pm »
    That makes sense to me @BassWrangler it's possible it's the same azzholes that gave us the CCP Virus.
No government in the 12,000 years of modern mankind history has led its people into anything but the history books with a simple lesson, don't let this happen to you.

Online DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,142
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #64 on: June 10, 2021, 10:50:41 pm »
@corbe


The lower the 30 yr fixed rate, the larger the buyer-pool...ergo, the higher prices and appreciation.

My 40 yr + career ... I thought 5 percent fixed would never show up again...let alone 2.25%  (Yes, I know it's about 2.625% 30 yr fixed today)

My point is that if rates follow the price of everything else, the buyer pool is going to dry up very fast.

My advice is to think in terms of your current monthly payment comfort zone.  Find out what that payment gets you at 2.625%.

Can you find a more exciting lot, floorplan, setting, being able to borrow money at that ridiculously low rate?

IMO, you'd better damned well look real good!    :beer:
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

BassWrangler

  • Guest
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #65 on: June 10, 2021, 11:23:45 pm »
@corbe


The lower the 30 yr fixed rate, the larger the buyer-pool...ergo, the higher prices and appreciation.

My 40 yr + career ... I thought 5 percent fixed would never show up again...let alone 2.25%  (Yes, I know it's about 2.625% 30 yr fixed today)

My point is that if rates follow the price of everything else, the buyer pool is going to dry up very fast.

My advice is to think in terms of your current monthly payment comfort zone.  Find out what that payment gets you at 2.625%.

Can you find a more exciting lot, floorplan, setting, being able to borrow money at that ridiculously low rate?

IMO, you'd better damned well look real good!    :beer:

Thanks, @DCPatriot - I am thinking we're going to go look at some areas in North Georgia and Tennessee later this year.

Online DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,142
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #66 on: June 10, 2021, 11:51:41 pm »
Thanks, @DCPatriot - I am thinking we're going to go look at some areas in North Georgia and Tennessee later this year.

@BassWrangler

 :beer:
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline Cyber Liberty

  • Coffee! Donuts! Kittens!
  • Administrator
  • ******
  • Posts: 80,316
  • Gender: Male
  • 🌵🌵🌵
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #67 on: June 11, 2021, 12:09:30 am »
Reportedly there are big investment companies buying up homes at up to 150% of "fair market" value now. I'm guessing it's a hedge on inflation. My wife and I were planning a "brexit" from Washington state to escape a growing wave of liberal insanity, but now we're a bit scared we'll get caught in the middle of a real estate crash and take a huge bath.

I don't know.  BlackRock is the company buying up all the properties (in some cases an entire neighborhood).  They're converting the homes into rentals so nobody can own anything.  All renters.
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline sneakypete

  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 52,963
  • Twitter is for Twits
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #68 on: June 11, 2021, 12:19:57 am »

@DCPatriot  @corbe  @BassWrangler  @ Cyber Liberty 

Guys,girls,and undecideds.

This is a thread for jokes and humor,not real estate sales or any other subject. Please try to keep it that way.
Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Offline Cyber Liberty

  • Coffee! Donuts! Kittens!
  • Administrator
  • ******
  • Posts: 80,316
  • Gender: Male
  • 🌵🌵🌵
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #69 on: June 11, 2021, 12:49:26 am »
@DCPatriot  @corbe  @BassWrangler  @ Cyber Liberty 

Guys,girls,and undecideds.

This is a thread for jokes and humor,not real estate sales or any other subject. Please try to keep it that way.

10-4, Mr. Moderator!

In that light....

There was this fellow, a good man with strong conservative tendencies.  One day, he was at a pet shop where they had a Parrot on sale.  Intrigued, he asked the shop owner about it and why it was so inexpensive.

The Shop owner explained, "Well, I have to be honest with you.  The bird does talk, but he cusses like a Sailor."

The fellow decided that he could deal with it, because it was a beautiful bird.  So he bought the Parrot and took him home.  As expected, as soon as he pulled back the shade on the cage, the Parrot started cussing a pure blue streak...no pulling back!

The man tolerated the cussing Parrot for a few days, but it was getting on his nerves, so when the bird started up, he grabbed it and stuffed it into the pantry.  The screaming got even louder, and even more filthy, so he grabbed the Parrot again and stiffed it into the oven.  Yes, the cussing was even worse and louder.  After a few minutes, he said "Screw it!" and he then crammed the Parrot into the freezer.

Again, much screaming ensued, followed suddenly by a terrible silence.  A long silence.

Worried, the good fellow opened the freezer and the Parrot walked out of the freezer, and said, "Sir, I apologize from the bottom of my heart for my outbursts.  They were rude, and I feel terrible about it.  I promise to be better from now on!"

"By the way, what did the chicken in there do?"
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Online DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,142
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #70 on: June 11, 2021, 01:10:28 am »
10-4, Mr. Moderator!

In that light....

There was this fellow, a good man with strong conservative tendencies.  One day, he was at a pet shop where they had a Parrot on sale.  Intrigued, he asked the shop owner about it and why it was so inexpensive.

The Shop owner explained, "Well, I have to be honest with you.  The bird does talk, but he cusses like a Sailor."

The fellow decided that he could deal with it, because it was a beautiful bird.  So he bought the Parrot and took him home.  As expected, as soon as he pulled back the shade on the cage, the Parrot started cussing a pure blue streak...no pulling back!

The man tolerated the cussing Parrot for a few days, but it was getting on his nerves, so when the bird started up, he grabbed it and stuffed it into the pantry.  The screaming got even louder, and even more filthy, so he grabbed the Parrot again and stiffed it into the oven.  Yes, the cussing was even worse and louder.  After a few minutes, he said "Screw it!" and he then crammed the Parrot into the freezer.

Again, much screaming ensued, followed suddenly by a terrible silence.  A long silence.

Worried, the good fellow opened the freezer and the Parrot walked out of the freezer, and said, "Sir, I apologize from the bottom of my heart for my outbursts.  They were rude, and I feel terrible about it.  I promise to be better from now on!"

"By the way, what did the chicken in there do?"

@Cyber Liberty    :beer:

@jmyrlefuller   I apologize.   My thinking as wrong as it is, was that we recently took the member's lounge on a little ride recently...no harm done.

Answered a FRiend's question per a ping.  As succintly as possible.

Maybe we should start a category in members only for when members want to pick another member's brain?    :beer:
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline Sled Dog

  • The Ultimate Weapon: Freedom - I Won't
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,138
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #71 on: June 18, 2021, 05:54:01 am »


Quote
Am I the only one to have to pause to think of the word "cumulus"?

@BassWrangler

Ummmmm.

The first word that popped into my mind started with "cun.....",but I knew right away that one was wrong.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2021, 01:35:05 pm by sneakypete »
The GOP is not the party leadership.  The GOP is the party MEMBERSHIP.   The members need to kick the leaders out if they leaders are going the wrong way.  No coddling allowed.

Offline Gefn

  • "And though she be but little she is fierce"-Shakespeare
  • Cat Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,403
  • Gender: Female
  • Quos Deus Vult Perdere Prius Dementat
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #72 on: June 19, 2021, 12:00:58 pm »
@sneakypete
I’m late to the party but congratulations on becoming a moderator. I like this new forum.


I got a joke for you and @corbe

A blonde women goes to see her eye doctor.

Eye doctor asks her, “Good morning. Have your eyes ever been checked”?

“Why no doctor”, she replied. ‘They’ve always been blue”


 :blonde moment:
« Last Edit: June 19, 2021, 12:01:47 pm by Gefn »
G-d bless America. G-d bless us all                                 

Adopt a puppy or kitty from your local shelter
Or an older dog or cat. They're true love❤️

Offline sneakypete

  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 52,963
  • Twitter is for Twits
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #73 on: June 19, 2021, 01:00:39 pm »
@sneakypete
I’m late to the party but congratulations on becoming a moderator. I like this new forum.


I got a joke for you and @corbe

A blonde women goes to see her eye doctor.

Eye doctor asks her, “Good morning. Have your eyes ever been checked”?

“Why no doctor”, she replied. ‘They’ve always been blue”


 :blonde mom Lient:

@Gefn

LOL!  Like it!
Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Offline corbe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 38,467
Re: Humor/Jokes
« Reply #74 on: June 19, 2021, 06:19:38 pm »
No government in the 12,000 years of modern mankind history has led its people into anything but the history books with a simple lesson, don't let this happen to you.