Author Topic: Today's Toons 5/11/20  (Read 4198 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 5/11/20
« on: May 11, 2020, 10:06:15 am »


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & W:


In Case You Missed It Dept.:

China's government was accused of taking advantage of the corona virus uproar to step up human rights abuses against China's own citizens. It only sparked America's competitive spirit. The way things are going, Michigan is going to be competitive with China in only a week or two.

The New York Times urged Bernie Progressives to back Biden as the only way to defeat Trump. However Progressives have a much bigger problem on their hands than Donald Trump. Kids have been out of school for seven weeks now, and they're starting to think for themselves.

Rock superstar Ozzy Osborne learned Friday that corona virus travel restrictions prevent him from being allowed to fly to a Parkinson's clinic in Switzerland for treatment. His generation is exasperated right along with him. Back in our day, you could eat a bat without starting a world crisis.

Georgia, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Texas began opening up their economies on Friday despite furious opposition by the media and political establishment. This corona virus has done what no woman was ever able to do. Cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and men are staying home.

President Trump at his press conference ripped into a CNN News reporter for being so negative and called him a representative of Fake News. The other side does it too. The same day, I heard on Fox News that a baby bat is called a pup and an old bat is called Nancy Pelosi.

President Trump played referee at his press briefing Tuesday between health officials willing to be holed up forever and the stir-crazy rebels who refuse to be holed up any longer. The entire situation has left me with one request. When this quarantine is finally over, let's not tell some people.

New York police gave tickets to anyone not wearing facial masks over their mouths this week. People are now using mouth coverings to market products and causes. But the Consumer Product Safety Board took Hillary Clinton facial masks off the shelves because they are considered a choking hazard.

The White House demanded that Nancy Pelosi recall the House in order to finish passing the small business bailout and pass an infrastructure bill. The country desperately needs new bridges right away, if only to give Washington, D.C., reporters something to jump from if Trump gets re-elected.

Joe Biden held his own in the polls despite being homebound since the Corona Virus first broke out in the U.S. Joe has remained quarantined inside his basement in his Delaware house for six weeks. Joe Biden now meets the residency requirement to be President of Middle Earth.

The Wall Street Journal published an election analysis predicting that the margin of victory in the presidential election will be razor-thin. I just found out that my uncle, a lifelong Republican, is going to vote Democratic this fall. This would have never happened if he were still alive.

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez went on social media calling for a new normal for workers that include fewer working hours, more pay, free health care, free tuition and corporate obedience to strict Green Rules. I don't go near AOC in my jokes. I'm practicing socialist distancing.

President Trump addressed reporters Monday and he revealed that he knows Kim Jung Un's medical condition but he won't discuss it. Just because Kim Jung Un may be brain dead doesn't mean he can't run North Korea. Look at how many people think Joe Biden can run the United States.

President Trump said he knows Kim Jung Un's condition but won't reveal it. Japan believed Kim is living in a vegetative state but South Korea thinks he's vacationing with his concubines. The best evidence Kim Jung Un is dead is that Democrats just sent him a mail-in ballot.

The Washington Post mentioned Joe Biden's sexual assault accuser for the first time Tuesday as her story gained traction. Early in the campaign when Joe apologized publicly to six women who said he inappropriately touched them, Joe got emotional and began to tear up. Must be the mace.

Governor Gavin Newsom was slapped by lawsuits from businesses and protest groups as the state of California began losing its fear of COVID-19 Tuesday. Last night I went to the store and saw that the toilet paper aisle was full, and I wept. It was like I had traveled twenty years back in time.

-- Argus Hamilton


(Thank you, Vulcan)

Offline Polly Ticks

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Re: Today's Toons 5/11/20
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2020, 11:25:29 am »
Thanks, Pookie!
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline verga

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Re: Today's Toons 5/11/20
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2020, 11:26:50 am »
Thank you Pookie
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Today's Toons 5/11/20
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2020, 11:54:38 am »
Thanks, pookie!
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 5/11/20
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2020, 02:21:07 pm »
Thanks, Pookie!

You're welcome, Polly Ticks!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 5/11/20
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2020, 02:21:29 pm »
Thank you Pookie

My pleasure, Verga!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 5/11/20
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2020, 02:21:56 pm »
Thanks, pookie!

You're welcome, as always, Smokin Joe!

Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: Today's Toons 5/11/20
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2020, 07:41:23 pm »
Thanks for Argus and the Pookietoons!
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 5/11/20
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2020, 09:18:41 pm »
Thanks for Argus and the Pookietoons!

My pleasure, as ever, CL!