Author Topic: Today's Toons 4/27/20  (Read 5469 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 4/27/20
« on: April 27, 2020, 10:08:28 am »
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T:

(Thank you, Polly Ticks)


In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Cook County in Illinois reported that Chicago has now recorded ten thousand cases of Corona Virus in the past month. The city has come to a complete stop. There are no two ways about it, COVID-19 is the biggest crisis to alter Chicago's way of life since the bullet shortage of 1945.

The White House Task Force addressed reporters and indicated that the numbers of virus infections seem to have peaked. They praised Americans for keeping social distance and getting tested. Bernie Sanders pulled out of the race after he tested negative for president.

Bernie Sanders halted his presidential campaign but requested that his delegates remain loyal to him leading up to the convention so he can bargain with whichever nominee the DNC selects. He's used to it by now. Every four years around this time, Bernie celebrates Passed Over.

Democratic National Committee records showed that Bernie Sanders raised one hundred and sixty-seven million dollars in his year-long quest for the nomination. He's taken the party to the left. Joe Biden complimented Sanders saying he always liked his white suits and chicken.

The Centers for Disease Control was forced to roll out new numbers saying how COVID-19 is infecting Americans by race, class and gender. It's interesting to see that statistics show that COVID-19 hits men a lot more than it infects women. In other words, Bruce Jenner got out just in time.

CNN last week stopped airing President Trump's daily press conferences, accusing Trump of hogging network airtime as a free campaign ad. Don't get the wrong impression, journalistically speaking, CNN is very much in favor of covering Donald Trump. With a pillow, until he stops moving.

President Trump expressed wariness about allowing every American to vote by mail in the fall election, citing the possibility of vote-counting fraud. The Democratic Party position is clear. If Stormy collusion quid-pro-quo Corona-Gate doesn't bring Trump down, then let's try voting by mail.

Dr. Fauci expressed gratitude for the public's response to social distancing and self-isolation Monday as new statistics came out that startled me. I admit I didn't take the virus that seriously until today. The CDC just announced the COVID-19 death toll could surpass the Clinton body count.

Bernie Sanders arranged on Monday to appear on TV with Joe Biden from separate locations so he could endorse Joe and allow us to enjoy watching Bernie and Biden going back and forth at each other on split screen. I haven't seen Sesame Street in years. They finally came out of the balcony.

The White House had to cancel the annual Easter Egg Roll and Easter Egg Hunt enjoyed by children on the White House lawn Monday. It's times like this when the Democrats can make their best case for their candidate. Joe Biden is the only candidate who can hide his own Easter Eggs.

Senator Bernie Sanders appeared on a televised video conference with Joe Biden Monday and heartily endorsed the former vice president for election in November. Biden looked a little tired on camera. The day before was Easter, and Joe was up half of the night waiting for the Trick or Treaters.

The White House Task Force was happy about new numbers Monday when they told reporters that thanks to testing, home isolation and social distancing, the virus casualties are going down. They just devised a new test called The Epstein. It checks your cells only once every twenty-four hours.

Joe Biden wrapped up the nomination this week with endorsements from Barack Obama, Bernie and Liz Warren. Comedians love this guy. Joe Biden's mind is like a web browser, nineteen tabs are open, eighteen tabs are frozen and he doesn't know where the music is coming from.

Barack Obama leaped into the 2020 campaign, recording a video in Washington, D.C., in which he endorsed Joe Biden after they had a memorable exchange over the phone. Earlier that morning, Barack had called Joe to tell him he was endorsing him. Joe's question was, for what?

President Trump cut off the WHO until we see if it helped China cover up the lethal nature of corona virus. Eating bats started it and now it looks like only herd immunity can end it. Before it broke out, Ozzy Osborne was the sickest man alive and by next year he could be the last man standing.

Governor Gavin Newsom said restrictions won't end soon, keeping everyone's business future at the whim of the governing class. Thanks to politics, we'll always have COVID-19. Every time the Republicans come close to eradicating it, the Democrats will put it on the Endangered Species List.

Wall Street stocks held firm this week due to the expected bounce-back as well as hot current market performers. It's like the Wild West. The numbers aren't in yet, but the National Retailers Association is still trying to compute which sold out faster this week, toilet paper or Bernie Sanders.

President Trump backtracked and stated that re-opening the economy will be decided by states. Trump's critics accused him of acting like Hitler this week while they say he didn't act enough like Hitler in February. It seems no one can ever agree on what is the right amount of Hitler.

-- Argus Hamilton


(Thank you, Vulcan)

Offline Polly Ticks

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2020, 11:23:13 am »
Thanks, Pookie!
I hope you had a marvelous weekend.
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2020, 11:23:32 am »
Thanks, pookie!
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2020, 11:28:13 am »
Thanks, Pookie!
I hope you had a marvelous weekend.

You're welcome, Polly Ticks! Thanks...as marvelous as it could be under these circumstances...

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2020, 11:28:34 am »
Thanks, pookie!

My pleasure, Smokin Joe!

Offline Polly Ticks

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2020, 11:33:23 am »
You're welcome, Polly Ticks! Thanks...as marvelous as it could be under these circumstances...

That counts.
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2020, 11:35:21 am »
That counts.

OK...I feel better now! ;-)

Offline verga

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2020, 01:11:47 pm »
Thanks  Pookie, Next to my wife your toons are the best part of quarantine.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2020, 01:31:13 pm »
Thanks  Pookie, Next to my wife your toons are the best part of quarantine.

You're welcome, as always & thanks for the high praise, Verga!

Online Cyber Liberty

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #9 on: April 27, 2020, 02:17:21 pm »
Bernie Sanders arranged on Monday to appear on TV with Joe Biden from separate locations so he could endorse Joe and allow us to enjoy watching Bernie and Biden going back and forth at each other on split screen. I haven't seen Sesame Street in years. They finally came out of the balcony.

Minor bone to pick with Argus....The "Balcony guys" weren't on Sesame Street, they were on The Muppet Show.   :laugh:

Thanks for the Moon's Daeg Toons, Pookie!!!!
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2020, 02:23:31 pm »
Minor bone to pick with Argus....The "Balcony guys" weren't on Sesame Street, they were on The Muppet Show.   :laugh:

Thanks for the Moon's Daeg Toons, Pookie!!!!

My pleasure, as ever, CL! Good catch...I missed that :-(

Online Cyber Liberty

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #11 on: April 27, 2020, 02:37:48 pm »
My pleasure, as ever, CL! Good catch...I missed that :-(

I used to work at two TV stations.  One ran Sesame Street, the other The Muppet Show.   :tongue2:
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #12 on: April 27, 2020, 02:42:43 pm »
I used to work at two TV stations.  One ran Sesame Street, the other The Muppet Show.   :tongue2:

I think that in my area they were on the same station (a PBS affiliate)

Offline ricebug

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #13 on: April 27, 2020, 05:45:23 pm »
G'day Pookie!!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2020, 05:54:32 pm »

Offline conservativevoter

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #15 on: April 27, 2020, 06:58:37 pm »
Did Joe wash his hands thoroughly after touching Witmer?   :cool:

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #16 on: April 27, 2020, 08:06:26 pm »
Did Joe wash his hands thoroughly after touching Witmer?   :cool:

Even better, like Chris Cuomo's wife, he bathed in Clorox...

Offline Sarge

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #17 on: April 28, 2020, 05:52:25 pm »
Thanks Pookie!
RIP Chopper 5-7-13 to 1-19-16
Hail 새 새끼  2-25-2020 - Present

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 4/27/20
« Reply #18 on: April 28, 2020, 05:55:54 pm »
Thanks Pookie!

You're welcome, Sarge!