The Mueller joke
Matthew Walther
February 22, 2019
I would like to say some things about the apparently imminent conclusion of Robert Mueller's special counsel investigation, but first let me tell you a joke.
One day Johnny asked his teacher, Mrs. Williamson, to be excused from class. When he got to the bathroom, he found scrawled above the urinal the words "Purple Panther." He did his business, washed his hands, walked back to the classroom, and sat down. Then he raised his hand. "Yes, Johnny?" "Mrs. Williamson, what does ‘Purple Panther' mean?" The teacher's face became suddenly hot with anger. "Young man, report to Principal Arnold's office immediately!" Johnny, very much confused, did as he was bid. "Yes, what is it?" Principal Arnold asked. "I just got sent here by Mrs. Williamson," Johnny said quietly. "But, Johnny, you are such a well-behaved boy. What could you possibly have done?" "All I did was ask her what ‘Purple Panther' means." The principal's expression changed almost instantaneously. "You are suspended, effective immediately." Poor Johnny walked to the lobby and used the payphone — they had them in those days — to call his mother. "Mom, I need you to pick me up from school. I got suspended." "Johnny!" his mother nearly shouted, "I simply cannot believe this. What in the world happened? You have never been in trouble before." Johnny hesitated. "Can we talk about it later, please? I just need you to pick me up." "Of course, darling," she said. Johnny walked out of the building. Twenty minutes later he saw his mother's van approaching. Out of nowhere, a bus crashed into the sidewalk, striking him.
He died instantly.
This is not the longest version of this joke. In some versions, our hero is kicked out of his house, sent on an airplane, tossed overboard by the crew, marooned on a desert island, exiled from nowhere by Robinson Crusoe, saved by pirates, made to walk the plank, rescued by the Coast Guard, dispatched to a secret military prison, launched into space, found by extraterrestrials, and obliterated with a laser blast. In others, the anagogic phrase is "Pink Panther." But this attempt at anti-humor explains better than anything else my feelings about the special counsel investigation.
more
https://theweek.com/articles/824999/mueller-joke
