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Scientists Baffled by McConnell and Ryan’s Ability to Stand Upright Without Spines
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Topic: Scientists Baffled by McConnell and Ryan’s Ability to Stand Upright Without Spines (Read 398 times)
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rangerrebew
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Scientists Baffled by McConnell and Ryan’s Ability to Stand Upright Without Spines
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on:
April 01, 2018, 06:36:15 pm »
Scientists Baffled by McConnell and Ryan’s Ability to Stand Upright Without Spines
By Andy Borowitz
January 30, 2017
PHOTOGRAPH BY CHIP SOMODEVILLA / GETTY
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “medical mystery of the first order,†scientists are baffled by the ability of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan to stand upright without the benefit of spines.
Doctors at the University of Minnesota Medical School, who have been studying the skeletal structures of both Republicans for months, believe that their ability to stand, walk, and even break into a brisk trot when confronted by reporters’ questions is “virtually inexplicable.â€
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-baffled-by-mcconnell-and-ryans-ability-to-stand-upright-without-spines
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Last Edit: April 01, 2018, 06:36:51 pm by rangerrebew
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rangerrebew
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Re: Scientists Baffled by McConnell and Ryan’s Ability to Stand Upright Without Spines
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Reply #1 on:
April 01, 2018, 06:38:14 pm »
It is easily explained. They have broom handles crammed up their as*ses and lodged in their throats to give them appearance of a spine.
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andy58-in-nh
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Re: Scientists Baffled by McConnell and Ryan’s Ability to Stand Upright Without Spines
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April 01, 2018, 06:51:12 pm »
I don't know. Some sponges seem to stand up pretty well on their own.
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"The most terrifying force of death, comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone. They try, so very hard, to mind their own business and provide for themselves and those they love. They resist every impulse to fight back, knowing the forced and permanent change of life that will come from it. They know, that the moment they fight back, their lives as they have lived them, are over. -Alexander Solzhenitsyn
INVAR
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Dread To Tread
Re: Scientists Baffled by McConnell and Ryan’s Ability to Stand Upright Without Spines
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Reply #3 on:
April 01, 2018, 07:25:28 pm »
Yes.
Sponges.
They absorb the Leftist agenda, and pass it off as their own giving themselves the ability to appear upright for the liberal media and their fellow 'honorable colleagues' on the other side of the aisle.
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Fart for freedom, fart for liberty and fart proudly. - Benjamin Franklin
...Obsta principiis—Nip the shoots of arbitrary power in the bud, is the only maxim which can ever preserve the liberties of any people. When the people give way, their deceivers, betrayers and destroyers press upon them so fast that there is no resisting afterwards. The nature of the encroachment upon [the] American constitution is such, as to grow every day more and more encroaching. Like a cancer, it eats faster and faster every hour." - John Adams, February 6, 1775
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