That reminds me. I have to go back to work tomorrow after a one-week vacation. Help me figure out how to get fired without losing my unemployment....
You can't get fired and not lose your unemployment unless you can prove it was unjustified or the result of racism, etc.
You can, in some states "Quit for cause", which involves misdeeds on the part of your employer or unsafe conditions you have tried to get rectified, of (depending on local laws) trying to involve you in illegal or immoral acts as a condition of your employment. Local laws vary, so consult them, if you are serious. (I'm guessing you aren't.) You will likely have to prove that cause existed.
Otherwise, you have to get laid off.
I'd lay me off, but being self-employed, I'm just going to have to go back to work....