A drunk guy staggered off the casino floor into the bar, set down a couple of shoeboxes with holes punched into them and bound with string, and asked the bartender for a drink.
The bartender replied, "you look like you're in no shape for more alcohol."
The drunk guy said, "wow, that's hard to hear. Tell you what -- if I show you a trick you've never seen before, you'll *give* me a free drink."
The bartender said, "try me, there is no trick I've never seen, this is Las Vegas!"
The drunk guy pulled the string off one of the boxes, pulled out a burly bright green parrot, took him to the bar's piano, set him on the keys, and stepped away. The parrot cracked his knuckles and proceeded to hammer out the best boogie woogie anyone present had ever heard.
"Wow! Here's your free drink!" the bartender said.
The drunk guy nursed that drink for at least a half hour, finally finishing it, and wanting another.
"No, I think you've had enough."
"Hey, if I show you another trick, an even better one..."
The bartender scoffed -- "if you can show me a better trick than that one, you can drink the rest of the night for free!"
The drunk guy opened the second box. Inside there was a white rat. The drunk put the rat on a stool next to the piano, adjusted the mike stand, and the rat got up on his hind legs, be-boppin' and scattin' his way through a series of old standards. The crowd grew, the tip jar overflowed, and the bartender started serving the drunk guy drink after drink.
As the night wore on, a talent agent wandered in to check out the music. He couldn't believe his eyes! He went to the bartender and demanded to know, "who owns this act?!?" The bartender pointed to the drunk guy, now passed out on the floor.
The agent picked up the drunk and shook and slapped him to bring him around. "I have to buy this act from you! How much? How much?"
"They're not for sale, but I'll sell you the rat for $50,000!"
"I'll take it!" The agent produced $50,000, in cash, from his hidden money belt, picked up the white rat, stuck him in the box, tied it up, and left with less money and a bill of sale signed by the drunk guy and witnessed by the bartender.
The bartender said, "it's none of my business, but you're out of your mind, breaking up a million dollar act for a measly fifty grand!"
The drunk guy just shook his head.
"Relax. The parrot is a ventriloquist."