Gonna be an Indians Dodgers series! Sorry but thats how it is!
Fixed it for you!
And all you other postseason entrants, you can just damn well wait one more year.
You, Cubs---you broke your bigtime drought big time last year.
You, Astros---you didn't look half as good in the second half as you did in the first,
and you haven't lived half as long, almost, without a World Series ring.
You, Dodgers---you who shot the lights out in the first half and turned into a house of cards
in the second, you with your six World Series rings in your franchise history, you think waiting
since 1988 is long enough? The Indians have waited twice that long.
You, Nationals---you who keep getting to the dance only to be unable to consummate the
card. I don't care if the nation's capital of organised crime's been waiting since Calvin Coolidge for
another World Series title, it'll mean a lot more if you hold out one more year, and, anyway,
even if you do get to the Series you're going to be breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the Indians.
You, Red Sox---you didn't just bust your actual or alleged curse in 2004 (and spectacularly,
while you were at it), you're one of the only two teams in this century to win three Series
in ten years or less. Surely you of all people know patience is a virtue. Besides, if you end
up playing the Indians for the pennant, remember this---David Price, you're no Andrew
Miller. (But you might have been the biggest ass in baseball for that stupidity you pulled
on Dennis Eckersley this year.)
You, Twins---how the hell did you sneak into the picture? Oh, yes, that impressive kid corps.
But they're still a little green behind the gills. And you're probably not going to push the
Yankees to one side come Tuesday's wild card game. Besides, you're the franchise who have
that one Washington World Series ring and a couple more in Minnesota since the Reagan
Administration. We don't have to tell you to wait your turn, the Yankees will probably do
that for us.
And
you, Yankees, you with your forty pennants and 27 World Series rings, who died
and left
you with that sense of entitlement? Besides, you might beat the Twins in the
wild card game but the Indians' bullpen is better than yours and you're liable not to get
out of the division series alive. Let Aaron (Here Come the) Judge hit all the home runs he
wants, he can't carry you all by his lonesome. (And neither can Luis Severino on the mound.)
If
any team in baseball can wait 'till next year, it's you.
The whole damn lot of you can just hurry up and wait until next year or beyond. It's time
for the Indians to bust the curse of Frank Lane. (Yes, it's usually called the Curse of Rocky
Colavito, but Trader Lane was the damn fool who dealt Colavito to the Tigers for an aging
singles hitter because he didn't like Colavito being the clean-living type and because Colavito
called him out on his deceptions during contract talks.)
It's time for the Indians to exorcise the ghosts of Harvey Kuenn, Max Alvis (spinal meningitis
in 1964 turned a promising super third baseman into a merely average but useful one),
Sudden Sam McDowell (threw lamb chops past wolves until a) he decided he needed a
changeup, and b) let his insecurities drink him out of baseball), Tony Horton (his mental
collapse, possibly under self-imposed family pressures, put paid to a promising career for
the slugging first baseman), Ray Fosse (blasted by Pete Rose in an All-Star Game and never
became the great catcher he promised to be) Eckersley and Manning (they traded the wrong
guy when Manning turned up having an affair with Eckersley's first wife, and it wasn't Manning),
Super Joe Charboneau (his back put paid to his career the season after he was the Rookie
of the Year sensation), the 1987
Sports Illustrated cover, the 1995 Braves, the 1997
Marlins, Bartolo Colon, Cliff Lee, and Michael Martinez (the last out of last year's Series, with
the re-tying run on and two out in the tenth).
The rest of you lot can just hurry up and wait. Especially since, pending the outcome of
today's season finale against the White Sox, the Indians have all but forgotten how to lose.
Including that 22-game winning streak, the Tribe is 32-4 since 24 August. Oh, sure, they'll
have a few days off awaiting the wild card winner. They've earned the break. Want to know
how they did against the other AL division winners and the wild card boys this year?
Against the Astros: 5-1.
Against the Red Sox: 1-4. Note: the win is the one that started that insane in the brain
winning streak.
Against the Yankees: 4-2.
Against the Twins: 10-7.
Overall against the other postseason teams: 20-14.
This year, I'd like to see the Indians go all the way; the Red Sox may yet to prove a mere
hiccup or two if they square off in the League Championship Series. And wouldn't it
be poetic if the Indians knock off the Red Sox to get to the Series managed by the guy
who managed the Red Sox to
their cursebuster?
