It is hard for me to say. I haven't known a lot of bullies. ...
I've known more than quite a few. They all operate much the same way.
I was the smallest kid in school until I was a Senior in High School. All through grade school and Jr. High, every other day I found myself getting my head punched in, ambushed, lunch and books stolen, simply because I was the smallest kid. I didn't talk much - never started any trouble, but I refused from an early age to give in to threats. I would never just hand over my lunch money, or step out of line to let the bullies get in front. So I took a beating. Lots of them. Almost always from more than one at a time - and the older bigger ones would put up their younger proteges to do the deeds. My parents were pacifists and otherwise did not care, as long as they were not bothered. I was on my own to fend for myself. And back then, snitching and crying to the principal was the worst thing someone could do for shame's sake.
In 7th grade I signed up for Tae Kwon Do class taught by a marine at a local church basement twice a week after school. He was a good instructor - and put the fear of using our training for anything other than self defense at the forefront of every lesson. I began to enjoy the science of fighting and combat and I began a lifelong pursuit and study of those arts. After we had moved I found a Dojang teaching the same style I began with by a Korean master. He too made it very clear that if he ever heard of a school fight being fought by one of us that we could not walk away from or talk ourselves out of - he would put us on the mat and put us in our place himself.
I never let myself use my training until I was a Jr. in High School - I continued to allow myself to get shoved around, books knocked out of my hands and the occasional threat of a scheduled fight simply because I would stare someone down trying to bully me or someone else. I never had to say anything - just stare them down and refuse to look down or look afraid. That was often enough for them to ignore me or forget they issued a fight date that afternoon after school.
But one day - one big fella who was the ultimate high school bully and burn out - decided to follow up on a threat made in a bathroom after insulting my genitals (because pee-pee insults are the hallmark of confident masculinity I guess) whereby I asked him how he could know unless he was looking. He did not like that lack of 'respect'. So he told me he would be waiting for me after school. And that day - he and more than half the student body were indeed waiting for me at the front of the school. I tried to walk way - suffered the calls of 'chicken' and took the first shove and then the first hit which busted my often busted schnoz. After that - my training went to work, and I really hurt that guy. Sparring with pads on a mat is one thing. Street fighting is another. I ended up balling my eyeballs out in front of the whole group of classmates out there when the fight was over - and the dean had me look at what I did to the guy. I felt horrible. People thought I was nuts - to fight a guy who started a fight and end up crying about it.
But then I learned something afterwards - for that was the first and last time at high school, anyone ever picked on me again. I was given some space, and made a few friends who had their own run-ins with the bully in the past. I learned that most of those years of being a victim was because I was the one who let people push me around - because I never stood up for what was right. Often you telegraph to people how much abuse you are willing to take.
There are lots of bullies out there. But I do not suffer or tolerate one anymore. Bullies do what they do because they get away with it often without consequences. I do not let them get away with it. I may lose a fight - but they are going to hurt attempting to inflict what damage they think they can. Most of the time they are covering up their own insecurities with stupid bravado. Bullies generally are not brave. Often they bully in packs or in front of crowds for attention. But get them one on one, or pop them when they go too far - watch them threaten, intimidate and then demand safe spaces for themselves as we have been witness to lo these many months right here on this board.
