Author Topic: ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016  (Read 8148 times)

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Offline Sanguine

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Re: ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016
« Reply #75 on: June 12, 2016, 04:00:04 am »

Offline SZonian

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Re: ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016
« Reply #76 on: June 12, 2016, 05:17:36 pm »
Thanks L9teen!

A little late, but this came through my inbox this morning and thought I'd share for those who may not have seen it yet.


 
 
COSTELLO:  I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America  .

ABBOTT: Good Subject.  Terrible Times.  It's 5.6%.

COSTELLO:  That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.
 
COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.

ABBOTT:  5.6% Unemployed.

COSTELLO:  Right 5.6% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's  23% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 5.6%.

COSTELLO:  WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%?

ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed.  23% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT:  No, Obama said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed.  You have to look for work to be unemployed.
 
COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO:  What point?

ABBOTT:  Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work.  It wouldn't be fair.
 
COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work.
Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
 
COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes  down. That's how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
 
ABBOTT: Bingo.

 COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.
 
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Democrat.

 COSTELLO:  I don't even know what the hell I just said!

 ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Hill​ar​y.
Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.


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Re: ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016
« Reply #78 on: June 12, 2016, 10:16:06 pm »
It's official:  You are now getting more replies on TBR than at TOS.  That was quick!  39 there, 80 here!  Raise a glass...then smash it against JR's head!
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Offline SZonian

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Re: ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016
« Reply #79 on: June 13, 2016, 12:16:27 am »
It's official:  You are now getting more replies on TBR than at TOS.  That was quick!  39 there, 80 here!  Raise a glass...then smash it against JR's head!
:thumbsup:
Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.

Offline verga

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Re: ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016
« Reply #80 on: June 13, 2016, 02:50:16 am »
Sunday night and we are still getting silliness.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline EC

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Re: ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016
« Reply #81 on: June 13, 2016, 02:56:29 am »
Went down to the shop to grab some milk and a frozen pizza before they closed. Decided to top up the gas card while I was there, so got out my wallet, grabbed the card and asked for twenty on it. The lad behind the counter is doing the transaction and says "Your wallet is neat. Mine's always full of old receipts and shit. I should clean it out."

I said to him "I never have to clean out my wallet. The missus does that for me."
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Offline SZonian

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Re: ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016
« Reply #82 on: June 13, 2016, 04:03:40 am »
 
Went down to the shop to grab some milk and a frozen pizza before they closed. Decided to top up the gas card while I was there, so got out my wallet, grabbed the card and asked for twenty on it. The lad behind the counter is doing the transaction and says "Your wallet is neat. Mine's always full of old receipts and shit. I should clean it out."

I said to him "I never have to clean out my wallet. The missus does that for me."
:silly:

Man, ain't that the truth?  <ducking>
Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.

Online jmyrlefuller

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Re: ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016
« Reply #83 on: June 14, 2016, 02:38:08 am »
Went down to the shop to grab some milk and a frozen pizza before they closed. Decided to top up the gas card while I was there, so got out my wallet, grabbed the card and asked for twenty on it. The lad behind the counter is doing the transaction and says "Your wallet is neat. Mine's always full of old receipts and shit. I should clean it out."

I said to him "I never have to clean out my wallet. The missus does that for me."
From my days at the grocery store:

"Do you want a bag?"

"Nope, got one at home."

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