Unless, of course, it's John Wayne toilet paper.
Many years ago, I worked for a contractor remodeling a building that had a (supposed) fallout shelter in the basement. One of the things we did was cut a sidewalk access into the basement so that did away with the fallout shelter value of the structure. What was left of the 'supplies' wasn't pretty. Alcohol had evaporated long ago, medical supplies had been pilfered (the phenobarbitol was gone), and nothing left in there was sterile or even close. There were a couple of sanitation kits, and the boss said to either chuck them or take them home if we wanted them. So I got one. The toilet paper was single ply, with fine shreds of wood still in the paper. All I could think of was some poor SOB with diarrhea trying to keep up with that roll of brutal wood pulp....
