99 Reasons Why Baseball Is a Much Better Game Than Football

[famousdayandyear]

Commentary : 99 Reasons Why Baseball Is a Much Better Game Than Football
January 18, 1987|THOMAS BOSWELL Washington Post|

Thomas Boswell writes about many sports for The Post. He loves one of them.

Some people say football's the best game in America. Others say baseball.

Some people are really dumb.

Some people say all this is just a matter of taste. Others know better.

Some people can't wait for next Sunday's Super Bowl. Others wonder why.

Pro football is a great game. Compared with hockey. After all, you've gotta do something when the wind chill is zero and your curveball won't break.

But let's not be silly. Compare the games? It's a one-sided laugher. Here are the first 99 reasons why baseball is better than football. (More after lunch.)

1. Bands.

2. Half time with bands.

3. Cheerleaders at half time with bands.

4. Up With People singing "The Impossible Dream" during a Blue Angels flyover at half time with bands.

5. Baseball has fans in Wrigley Field singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" at the seventh-inning stretch.

6. Baseball has Blue Moon, Catfish, Spaceman and The Sugar Bear. Football has Lester the Molester, Too Mean and The Assassin.

7. All XX Super Bowls haven't produced as much drama as the last World Series.

8. All XX Super Bowls haven't produced as many classic games as either pennant playoff did this year.

9. Baseball has a bullpen coach blowing bubble gum with his cap turned around backward while leaning on a fungo bat; football has a defensive coordinator in a satin jacket with a headset and a clipboard.

10. The Redskins have 13 assistant coaches, five equipment managers, three trainers, two assistant GMs but, for 14 games, nobody who could kick an extra point.

11. Football players and coaches don't know how to bait a ref, much less jump up and down and scream in his face. Baseball players know how to argue with umps; baseball managers even kick dirt on them. Earl Weaver steals third base and won't give it back; Tom Landry folds his arms.

12. Vince Lombardi was never ashamed that he said, "Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing."

13. Football coaches talk about character, gut checks, intensity and reckless abandon. Tommy Lasorda said, "Managing is like holding a dove in your hand. Squeeze too hard and you kill it; not hard enough and it flies away."

14. Big league baseball players chew tobacco. Pro football linemen chew on each other.

15. Before a baseball game, there are two hours of batting practice. Before a football game, there's a two-hour traffic jam.

16. A crowd of 30,000 in a stadium built for 55,501 has a lot more fun than a crowd of 55,501 in the same stadium.

17. No one has ever actually reached the end of the restroom line at an NFL game.

18. Nine innings means 18 chances at the hot dog line. Two halves means B.Y.O. or go hungry.

19. Pro football players have breasts. Many NFLers are so freakishly overdeveloped, due to steroids, that they look like circus geeks. Baseball players seem like normal fit folks. Fans should be thankful they don't have to look at NFL teams in bathing suits.

20. Eighty degrees, a cold beer and a short-sleeve shirt is better than 30 degrees, a hip flask and six layers of clothes under a lap blanket. Take your pick: Suntan or frostbite.

21. Having 162 games a year is 10.125 times as good as having 16.

22. If you miss your favorite NFL team's game, you have to wait a week. In baseball, you wait a day.

23. Everything George Carlin said in his famous monologue is right on. In football you blitz, bomb, spear, shiver, march and score. In baseball, you wait for a walk, take your stretch, toe the rubber, tap your spikes, play ball and run home.

24. Marianne Moore loved Christy Mathewson. No woman of quality has ever preferred football to baseball.

25. More good baseball books appear in a single year than have been written about football in the past 50 years. The best football writers, like Dan Jenkins, have the good sense to write about something else most of the time.

26. The best football announcer ever was Howard Cosell.

27. The worst baseball announcer ever was Howard Cosell.

28. All gridirons are identical; football coaches never have to meet to go over the ground rules. But the best baseball parks are unique.

29. Every outdoor park ever built primarily for baseball has been pretty. Every stadium built with pro football in mind has been ugly (except Arrowhead).

30. The coin flip at the beginning of football games is idiotic. Home teams should always kick off and pick a goal to defend. In baseball, the visitor bats first (courtesy), while the host bats last (for drama). The football visitor should get the first chance to score, while the home team should have the dramatic advantage of receiving the second-half kickoff.

31. Baseball is harder. In the last 25 years, only one player, Vince Coleman, has been cut from the NFL and then become a success in the majors. From Tom Brown in 1963 (Senators to Packers) to Jay Schroeder (Jays to Redskins), baseball flops have become NFL standouts.

32. Face masks. Right away we've got a clue something might be wrong. A guy can go 80 m.p.h. on a Harley without a helmet, much less a face mask.

(more reasons at link)

http://articles.latimes.com/1987-01-18/sports/sp-5548_1_pro-football-game

[famousdayandyear]

Much better link:
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/legendary/libvf100.shtml

[DCPatriot]

Thanks, famous.   
 

[famousdayandyear]

This is sort of my 'thank you' to Thomas Boswell, a great scholar of baseball (even if he did write for the Washington Post).

I carry with me always my copy of his compilation of articles entitled:
"Why Time Begins on Opening Day".   

And it keeps me from goin' "Crazy--Cee Lo Green"

[DCPatriot]

This is sort of my 'thank you' to Thomas Boswell, a great scholar of baseball (even if he did write for the Washington Post).

I carry with me always my copy of his compilation of articles entitled:
"Why Time Begins on Opening Day".   

And it keeps me from goin' "Crazy--Cee Lo Green"

Have always liked Boz.  He's one of the greatest baseball writers and columnists ever!


Never have forgotten as a little boy going to my first professional baseball game.  Walking up what seemed like a dozen concrete sloped ramps from street level....down the huge concourse hallways looking for the section on my ticket stub...up another short concrete ramp with nothing but blue sky at the end...and then suddenly the most beautiful green grass and dirt infield with pure white lines and bases.

Like John Kerry once said about being in Cambodia.....it's a vision that is seared into my mind until the day I die.   

[famousdayandyear]

My first memory is in a North Carolina mill town, mid summer night, hotter than hell, sitting in the bleachers between my mama and daddy rooting for the Combers--a collection of mill workers, policemen, firefighters--who loved the game, playing against another team from a neighboring mill town who loved the game.  And we all loved the game.

[ABX]

Baseball doesn't have Roger Goodall.

[famousdayandyear]

Heh.

[DCPatriot]

My first memory is in a North Carolina mill town, mid summer night, hotter than hell, sitting in the bleachers between my mama and daddy rooting for the Combers--a collection of mill workers, policemen, firefighters--who loved the game, playing against another team from a neighboring mill town who loved the game.  And we all loved the game.

I remember once playing a 2 o'clock game in Cazenovia Park, South Buffalo, NY.  For some reason, I was still at the diamond at 6PM sill in my uniform.

They had a "Twilight League" comprised of "mill workers, policemen, firemen" who from the eyes of a 15 year-old looked like senior citizens, but actually all in their 30's and 40's.  And they had TWO umps in navy blue, which I hadn't seen in my leagues yet.

One of the teams was a man short and they came up to me and asked me if I wanted to play.  I was so excited I could hardly speak.  I played 2nd base instead of right field because these guys could hit. 

When I had a chance to compose myself in the field, I looked around at "my team" and noticed that everyone of them was black...while our opponents were all white.

I'll never forget that evening.  I rode my bike home as the street lights came on and it was like I was floating.

Man...you're dredging up some memories, famous.   

[famousdayandyear]

I remember once playing a 2 o'clock game in Cazenovia Park, South Buffalo, NY.  For some reason, I was still at the diamond at 6PM sill in my uniform.

They had a "Twilight League" comprised of "mill workers, policemen, firemen" who from the eyes of a 15 year-old looked like senior citizens, but actually all in their 30's and 40's.  And they had TWO umps in navy blue, which I hadn't seen in my leagues yet.

One of the teams was a man short and they came up to me and asked me if I wanted to play.  I was so excited I could hardly speak.  I played 2nd base instead of right field because these guys could hit. 

When I had a chance to compose myself in the field, I looked around at "my team" and noticed that everyone of them was black...while our opponents were all white.

I'll never forget that evening.  I rode my bike home as the street lights came on and it was like I was floating.

Man...you're dredging up some memories, famous.   

Yeah, maybe.  But good times.  Our second baseman was Footsie--pretty much the entire police department.  But the game stays the same--pretty much--despite the despicable designated hitter rule.

I always side with the National League in the Series for that reason.  DH ruined the integrity and beauty of the game.  IMO, of course.

[jmyrlefuller]

I remember once playing a 2 o'clock game in Cazenovia Park, South Buffalo, NY.  For some reason, I was still at the diamond at 6PM sill in my uniform.

They had a "Twilight League" comprised of "mill workers, policemen, firemen" who from the eyes of a 15 year-old looked like senior citizens, but actually all in their 30's and 40's.  And they had TWO umps in navy blue, which I hadn't seen in my leagues yet.

One of the teams was a man short and they came up to me and asked me if I wanted to play.  I was so excited I could hardly speak.  I played 2nd base instead of right field because these guys could hit. 

When I had a chance to compose myself in the field, I looked around at "my team" and noticed that everyone of them was black...while our opponents were all white.

I'll never forget that evening.  I rode my bike home as the street lights came on and it was like I was floating.

Man...you're dredging up some memories, famous.   

I've got a good story.

They still have Town Team Baseball up here. Well, last year, I decided to show up as a spectator for the local town's team. Their scorekeeper never showed up, so I (having learned how to do it 20 years prior but barely remembering how) ended up pressed into service as the team scorekeeper for the rest of the year.

The guys on my team had all played high school ball, and were all in their early to mid-20s, all in playing shape. Now, our town was pretty small so we ended up getting a couple of reinforcements. Midseason we ended up landing Nathan Mann, who's playing Division I ball for Brown as a pitcher and catcher, and boy could he do both. He was good enough at hitting homers that the opposing pitchers would intentionally walk him. So this wasn't just recreational pickup—we had treated it as such, but we were a (surprisingly) good team.

Well, one day at the end of the season, I show up for the last game of the season. I show up with pencil in hand ready to keep score. The manager hands me a jersey and tells me I've been added to the active roster for my loyalty. I, having not played the game since playing softball as a preteen and being woefully out of shape and practice (I'm a noodle arm), actually got to test my muster against some darn good talent. I got put into right field, the position where they bury the worst players to do the least damage. (I didn't mind, although I would have probably been better off given my lack of arm strength at third base.) No balls ever came my way in the field and I struck out twice at the plate.

I got to play one more time in a playoff match, as we were blowing out our opponent. Again, I didn't see much action, but they saw me as just another member of the team and never made me feel like a bum. We ended up losing the championship that year (Mann had to go back to school, and I'll admit I think there was some funny business on our opponent calling a rainout to postpone the championship).

We ended up trying to get the team back together the next year, but there just wasn't enough support to do it, so I ended up playing beer league slowpitch softball. It wasn't the same, and even the commissioner of that league wasn't really satisfied with the product.

[famousdayandyear]

I've got a good story.

They still have Town Team Baseball up here. Well, last year, I decided to show up as a spectator for the local town's team. Their scorekeeper never showed up, so I (having learned how to do it 20 years prior but barely remembering how) ended up pressed into service as the team scorekeeper for the rest of the year.

The guys on my team had all played high school ball, and were all in their early to mid-20s, all in playing shape. Now, our town was pretty small so we ended up getting a couple of reinforcements. Midseason we ended up landing Nathan Mann, who's playing Division I ball for Brown as a pitcher and catcher, and boy could he do both. He was good enough at hitting homers that the opposing pitchers would intentionally walk him. So this wasn't just recreational pickup—we had treated it as such, but we were a (surprisingly) good team.

Well, one day at the end of the season, I show up for the last game of the season. I show up with pencil in hand ready to keep score. The manager hands me a jersey and tells me I've been added to the active roster for my loyalty. I, having not played the game since playing softball as a preteen and being woefully out of shape and practice (I'm a noodle arm), actually got to test my muster against some darn good talent. I got put into right field, the position where they bury the worst players to do the least damage. (I didn't mind, although I would have probably been better off given my lack of arm strength at third base.) No balls ever came my way in the field and I struck out twice at the plate.

I got to play one more time in a playoff match, as we were blowing out our opponent. Again, I didn't see much action, but they saw me as just another member of the team and never made me feel like a bum. We ended up losing the championship that year (Mann had to go back to school, and I'll admit I think there was some funny business on our opponent calling a rainout to postpone the championship).

We ended up trying to get the team back together the next year, but there just wasn't enough support to do it, so I ended up playing beer league slowpitch softball. It wasn't the same, and even the commissioner of that league wasn't really satisfied with the product.

Beers to you and DC.  These stories to me tell the heart of the game.
And I love the game.

 

[NavyCanDo]

Lost the baseball is better argument with the first mention of the word Cheerleaders.   Many a time at a Washington Huskie game, I would feel my wife's elbow in my side,  as I casually move the binoculars back onto the field of play, away from what was capturing my attention.   

[DCPatriot]

Yesterday morning, I volunteered to umpire a game with 8-10 year olds.  Manicured field.  The fences were 225 feet from home plate at the corners.

Each team had a girl on their team.  As Seinfeld would say, "Not that there's anything wrong with that".

They handed me "the clicker" to keep track of balls and strikes.  Then they gave me the chest protector and facemask.

IMO, they were worthless without wearing a cup.    So I asked them if I could forego the equipment and if I could call balls and strikes from behind the mound.  "Sure!!"

Two hour game...FIVE RUN limit per half inning.   Only 4 batters put the ball in play, but it was so much fun.  Two hours to play 3 innings.  LOL!

[Bigun]

I remember once playing a 2 o'clock game in Cazenovia Park, South Buffalo, NY.  For some reason, I was still at the diamond at 6PM sill in my uniform.

They had a "Twilight League" comprised of "mill workers, policemen, firemen" who from the eyes of a 15 year-old looked like senior citizens, but actually all in their 30's and 40's.  And they had TWO umps in navy blue, which I hadn't seen in my leagues yet.

One of the teams was a man short and they came up to me and asked me if I wanted to play.  I was so excited I could hardly speak.  I played 2nd base instead of right field because these guys could hit. 

When I had a chance to compose myself in the field, I looked around at "my team" and noticed that everyone of them was black...while our opponents were all white.

I'll never forget that evening.  I rode my bike home as the street lights came on and it was like I was floating.

Man...you're dredging up some memories, famous.   

I truly LOVED baseball for a long time and played a LOT of it with some very good players ( not going to start with the stories) but the players union and money ruined the game for me. I no longer even watch unless our local team (the Astros) happen to get into the playoffs and it's the same with football. I will drive half way across the state to watch a high school playoff game but the pros interest me not at all.

[jmyrlefuller]

Lost the baseball is better argument with the first mention of the word Cheerleaders.   Many a time at a Washington Huskie game, I would feel my wife's elbow in my side,  as I casually move the binoculars back onto the field of play, away from what was capturing my attention.   

The only thing cheerleaders were good for was affirmative action.

[Bigun]

One more comment from me on this and I'm done.

There were no .182 hitters getting paid to play in my day.  There are some making millions a year today.