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Ridiculous News of the Day

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We don't have a section for the really stupid stuff. The stuff that makes you shake your head in disbelief, laugh at the workings of insta-karma or just stretch the bounds of the ridiculous. Yet we do all need a laugh.

So - post 'em here if you find one!

Man shoots himself in the balls after being caught relieving himself by police

Another day, and yet another example of karma working its wicked way once again.

A man who was caught urinating in the street accidentally shot himself in the privates while attempting to get rid of a gun he was carrying.

Javier Thomas, 26, was caught relieving himself in a Brooklyn street in the early hours of Saturday, and immediately attempted to throw away his 9-mm Glock pistol.

But he was left in agony when he accidentally pulled the trigger and shot himself in the privates, police said.

Thomas was taken to Kings County Hospital with a non-life threatening wound, and was later arrested on charges of weapon possession and reckless endangerment.

Read more:

Man Asks to Be Deported to Heaven

An Alaskan ‘sovereign citizen’ suggested a judge could send him to heaven in lieu of paying child support.

If your name is “Birdman” and you find yourself in court for failing to pay tens of thousands of dollars in child support, perhaps don’t ask the judge if he can deport you to heaven. The judge might laugh at you.

Last week, Kevin Francis Ramey, a 57-year-old resident of Togiak, Alaska, who goes by the nickname “Birdman,” was arrested in his hometown and flown to Dillingham to appear in appear in court for allegedly refusing to pay more than $84,000 in back child support. “Birdman” proceeded to ask the judge a question involving divine citizenship.

“[The law] says if you’re not a U.S. citizen you could be deported,” he said, according to KDLG-AM. “I know I have three citizenships: number one in heaven, number two in America, number three in California. And that’s my primary citizenship, is of course, in heaven. So I was kinda wondering, are you guys going to deport me to heaven?”

“That was a very legal question…I’m a citizen of heaven, the Bible tells us that,” Ramey told The Daily Beast. He was not, however, speaking literally. “What are they gonna do, put me in front of a firing squad and deport me to heaven? No.”

Ramey, a former member of the Togiak City Council, leads a foundation called Sui Juris Court Angels, a sovereign citizen organization. Because of his diehard views on sovereign citizenry, Ramey believes the state lacks the authority to charge him with a class C felony for failing to pay child support.

He can always "self-deport" himself to heaven.

Just sayin'.

Man spies spider on his car as he prepares to pump gas. He decides to rid himself of the pest.

Now that's arachnophobia.


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