I've known a number of homosexuals, gay men as well as lesbians, and not a single one of them defined himself solely, or primarily, in terms of being homosexual, and certainly not in a way that was antagonistic to anyone who wasn't homosexual. In fact, the people I've known didn't mind being themselves in the company of friends - and certainly weren't offensive about it in any way - but were otherwise just as protective of their privacy and personal lives and is any non-homosexual. Several of the folks I've known have even been good old-fashioned lower case "c" conservatives inasmuch as they firmly believed in individual liberty and freedom from government interference or nosiness in their private affairs, personal responsibility, and free market economics. They're my friends, they're good human beings, and they're as disgusted by people who want to define everyone's politics and entitlements based on their sexual preferences as much as I am. The fact of the matter is this: we're all sinners, and all sins are equal in the sight of God, so the person who takes the Lord's name in vain by cursing, such as using Christ's name as an expletive, is just as much a sinner as is a practicing homosexual. But just as the curser may be an otherwise good person whose sinfulness does not wholly wreck that goodness and thus accorded a certain look-the-other-way'ness as between us sinners, so too giving that same courtesy to an otherwise good person who happens to also be a practicing homosexual, as between us sinners, is the same thing.
If I spend a lot of extra time in purgatory for this view, then so be it.
Your experience with gay people closely mirrors my own. I have known many, and as a rule, have not found them offensive in their personal behavior or interactions with me.
My problem is not with gay individuals, but with
the intentional politicization of the personal. It is obnoxious and destructive of civil society.
My discomfort with and disapproval of homosexual lifestyles in no way leads me to reject them as fellow human beings, ones deserving of the same essential, inalienable rights as I enjoy. Their liberties ought not be inferior to my own, but no better, either.
How God may view their behavior is another matter, ideas about which, in a free country must be tolerated, even if one disagrees. For people of faith in Judeo-Christian values to offer written or verbal judgement on such matters is most often an honest expression of loyalty to the tenets of one's faith.
What it is not, in the great majority of instances that I have seen, is "hate speech", the most evident examples of which today emanate instead from the Left and from Islamic extremists.