Author Topic: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2013-2016 (Read 118205 times)

Machiavelli · « **Reply #225 on:** August 20, 2014, 08:18:18 pm »

Worst garage door installation ever.

Machiavelli · « **Reply #226 on:** August 22, 2014, 05:15:48 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #227 on:** August 25, 2014, 07:10:13 pm »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv_L9XcdgY0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv_L9XcdgY0

alicewonders · « **Reply #228 on:** August 30, 2014, 01:09:15 am »

I thought some of us here could use this for reference:

Machiavelli · « **Reply #229 on:** August 31, 2014, 10:56:19 pm »

Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce.

"OK," the judge said, "Tell the court why you want a divorce."

"Well, your honor," Dan started, "Every once in a while my sister in law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are so identical looking, every once in a while I'd end up making love to her by mistake."

"Surely there must be some difference between the two women," the judge said.

Dan replied, "You'd better believe there is a difference, your honor! That's why I want the divorce!"

Machiavelli · « **Reply #230 on:** September 02, 2014, 05:25:55 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #231 on:** September 05, 2014, 06:21:09 pm »

Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #232 on:** September 07, 2014, 07:37:10 am »

I really liked the vaccine/firefighter/electricity awareness cartoon. It is shocking to consider all the deadly dangers we accept as just the "daily routine" and official social norms like electric death trap homes, or axe wielding uniformed pyromaniacs, or daily bathing. Which brings up the whole dihydrogen monoxide controversy.

There are a lot of really stupid people out there, but thanks to activist who have really studied the issue, like Jessica Simpson, we are getting the word out.

(cough cough)

Machiavelli · « **Reply #233 on:** September 07, 2014, 06:30:04 pm »

240B · « **Reply #234 on:** September 07, 2014, 06:45:02 pm »

I do not know why you posted this, but it happened to me when I was 18. This girl was desperately in love with me and kept pushing for marriage. I was so young and free. I had zero interest in marriage. Eventually she became so pushy, I had break up with her.

She started to foam at the mouth, ran into the kitchen and got a knife, not unlike the one pictured. She was ready to kill me. She raised the knife to stab me and then she froze. She started crying and fell to her knees.

I told her it would be Ok. And we went to bed. The next day, I told her parents about what had happened. They called the police, on her, because they were concerned about where this was going. Then I joined the Navy and that was that.

I apologize for this story. I don't want to change the mood of the thread. It is just that that last 'joke' was pretty close to home for me.

I don't think bread and mayo would have done anything, but she did bake a cake for me the next morning. And that is a true story.

Machiavelli · « **Reply #235 on:** September 09, 2014, 03:56:59 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #236 on:** September 10, 2014, 11:09:42 pm »

The Story of Adam and Eve's Pets

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal and God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

Machiavelli · « **Reply #237 on:** September 11, 2014, 03:55:20 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #238 on:** September 15, 2014, 07:48:36 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #239 on:** September 15, 2014, 08:35:41 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #240 on:** September 17, 2014, 05:14:23 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #241 on:** September 17, 2014, 10:33:02 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #242 on:** September 23, 2014, 04:40:24 pm »

FrogTV

Quote

This is how frogs are entertained by watching their favorite channel :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHfD3QYDUAI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHfD3QYDUAI

flowers · « **Reply #243 on:** September 23, 2014, 05:55:58 pm »

Quote from: Machiavelli on September 23, 2014, 04:40:24 pm

FrogTV

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHfD3QYDUAI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHfD3QYDUAI

that is funny. About a 3 years ago a neighbor was taking care of dog up here. We were watching Tv and he told me not to go to the animal planet channel because the dog he was taking care had already had his hour to watch. Well of course I didn't believe him so he change the channel, sure enough Dutch the dog ran in and sat in front of the Tv and watched it. The owner said anymore than a hour a day and Dutch would be too hyper to sleep at night....true story.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #244 on:** September 27, 2014, 01:57:13 am »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKtemqQkRXg

alicewonders · « **Reply #245 on:** September 28, 2014, 04:27:48 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #246 on:** September 30, 2014, 06:42:38 pm »

A black man applied for a fork lift operator job at a company in Detroit. A white man applied for the same job.

Since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test. They were led to a quiet room where there would be no interruptions by the manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

The manager went to the black man and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the white guy the job."

The black man asked, "And why would you be doing that? Are you a racist? We both got 19 questions right? This being Detroit, and me being black, surely I should get the job."

The manager replied, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong."

The black man then asked, "Tell me now, how would one incorrect answer be better than another?"

The manager replied, "Simple. On question number 7 the white guy wrote down, 'I don't know.' You put down, ‘Neither do I'."

Machiavelli · « **Reply #247 on:** September 30, 2014, 10:34:58 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #248 on:** October 02, 2014, 10:01:40 pm »

Machiavelli · « **Reply #249 on:** October 03, 2014, 03:59:53 am »