The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2013-2016

[jmyrlefuller]

[EC]

Been reading Cracked again, Myrle? 

[Oceander]

[Oceander]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ExZ0i04pSeY

[Oceander]

33 Dogs With The Most Rare Looks Ever

the article's gone now, but there's a related story about a dog that was so emaciated it was thought dead, until someone saved him at the last minute.  It's incredible:  http://sfglo.be/fA

Here's what he looked like when found:

And here's what he looks like after a full recovery:

truly amazing.

[Machiavelli]

NSFW (profanity) - How To Be A Dollar Menu Millionaire

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[Machiavelli]

[Chieftain]

The Friggin Falcon, by Theodore Rose Cogswell, circa 1966.....

 I went to take a friggin walk by the friggin reservoir
A wishin' for a friggin quid to pay my friggin score
My head, it was a-achin', an' me throat was parched and dry
And so I sent a little prayer a-wingin' to the sky

And there came a friggin falcon, and he walked upon the waves
I said "A friggin miracle!" and sang a couple staves
Of a friggin churchy ballad that I learned when I was young
The friggin bird took to the air and spattered me with dung

I fell upon my friggin knees and bowed my friggin head
And said three friggin Aves for all my friggin dead
And then I rose upon my feet and said another ten;
For the friggin bird burst into flame and spattered me again

The burnin' bird hung in the air just like a friggin sun
It seared me friggin eyebrows off, and when the job was done
The burnin' bird shot 'cross the sky, just like a shooting star
I ran to tell the friggin Priest. He bummed me last cigar

I told him of the miracle, he told me of the rose
I showed him bird crap in me hair, the bastard held his nose
I went to see the Bishop, but the friggin Bishop said:
"Go home and sleep it off, you sot - and wash your friggin head!"

I came upon the friggin wake of a dirty rotten swine
By name of Jock O'Leary, and I touched his head with mine
Ol' Jock, he sat up in his box and raised his friggin head
And his wife took up a candlestick and beat the bugger dead

Again I touched his head with mine and brought him back to life
His smiling face rolled on the floor - this time, she used a knife
And then she fell upon her knees, and started in to pray:
"'Twas 40 years, O Lord," she said, "I've waited for this day!"

I walked the friggin city 'mongst the friggin 'alt an' lame
And ev'ry time I raised 'em up, they got knocked down again
'Cause the love of God comes down to men a friggin curious way
But when a man is marked for love, that love is here to stay

And this I know because I've got a friggin curious sign:
Ev'ry time I wash my head, the water turns to wine!
I gives it free to workin' bloaks to brighten up their lives
So they don'no kick no dogs around, nor beat up on their wives

'Cause there ain't no use to miracles like walkin' on the sea
They crucified the Son o' God, but they don't muck with me
I leave the friggin blind alone, the dyin' and the dead
But ev'ry day at 4 o'clock, I wash my friggin head!

 

[Machiavelli]

[DCPatriot]

I love that one!   

[Machiavelli]

There's a joke in there, but you have to know about a certain movie franchise.

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[jmyrlefuller]

Alas, I don't think there's much silly about this one.

[Machiavelli]

Alas, I don't think there's much silly about this one.

Agreed.

[Machiavelli]

[Machiavelli]

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which was worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut!

[Machiavelli]

I received this in an email from a friend. I have no idea whether this is a true story or not, but I like it.


I saw the cell phone thing first hand.  My wife and I were just seated in a booth, my wife with her back to a man in the booth behind her, and me facing my wife and thus the other man's date.  The woman was on her phone talking intently to a friend as we sat down.

They were served their food just after we were seated, the woman still on the phone.

She continued talking on the phone as she ate.

Even just being able to see the back of the man, I could tell by his body language  he was becoming very upset with the woman.  She continued on the phone for the entire meal, talking loudly and annoying everyone seated within earshot.

The phone conversation ended when the server brought the check.

Now the good part. The man said to the waitress, "We'll have separate checks, please."

The woman's mouth dropped open and she said, "But I didn't bring any money!  We're on a date and you're supposed to pay."

The man replied, "You're right, we WERE on a date.  You have a phone. Call your friend to bring you some money. You talked to them all night and you ignored me.  Ask them for a ride home, too."

At that, the man walked to the cashier, paid for his meal and left the woman sitting there dumbfounded.  My wife and I, along with the other patrons annoyed by the woman on the phone, all wanted to jump up and cheer this man for doing the right thing.

Bad me. I would have stood and clapped!

[Machiavelli]

[jmyrlefuller]

Ah, Windows 95. Now THAT is a flashback.

[jmyrlefuller]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eMCURWpNAg

[Machiavelli]

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