Author Topic: Computer Tech Support  (Read 418 times)

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Offline Rapunzel

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Computer Tech Support
« on: December 13, 2012, 12:38:57 AM »
Computer Tech Support

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A black one...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my disc out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the release button?
Customer: Yes, sure; the tray comes out but there's nothing in it.
Tech support: Does disc content show up on your screen?
Customer: Oh! ...wait a minute..... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.'
I've even lifted the printer over and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...

============== =

Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the carnival.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk to the other side of the room.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work.

Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple,
a capital letter V as in Victor, and the numbers 7274.
Customer: Is the 7274 in capital letters?
== =============

Customer: I can't open Yahoo calendar.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Yes... five stars.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Hotmail.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: Who the hell transferred this call to me???

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that's a good point. The guy sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now hit the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
“The time is now near at hand which must probably determine, whether Americans are to be, Freemen, or Slaves.” G Washington July 2, 1776

Offline Ford289HiPo

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  • Don't take life seriously; No one gets out alive
Re: Computer Tech Support
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2012, 07:44:13 PM »
I just got a face full of obama.

I wonder when the lies will stop and truth begin, even as grim as the truth may be. And then I remember that for 70 years, the reign of terror in Russia called itself "the people's government." We have so far to fall, yet we are falling fast and Hell yawns to receive us.

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